[aya startin wha]

Originally Posted by gypsy_rose

I say let him sweat, might make him learn a lesson about boundaries.

But he didn't cross any boundaries, the op went along with it, she clearly behaved in the same manner as previous sexual encounters with this man.
I'm not saying the op is to blame, I think that if it was an unpleasant experience then fair enough, but it's certainly not the mans fault that the op didn't enjoy it, the man is not a mind reader.

[gypsy_rose]

Originally Posted by aya startin wha

But he didn't cross any boundaries, the op went along with it, she clearly behaved in the same manner as previous sexual encounters with this man.
I'm not saying the op is to blame, I think that if it was an unpleasant experience then fair enough, but it's certainly not the mans fault that the op didn't enjoy it, the man is not a mind reader.

Yes but it might teach him to think twice next time. And most people do not act like that with people they're not in a relationship with, he needs to learn that. How can you say he didn't cross any boundaries? That's insane, he crossed every boundary possible.

[skooterblue2]

"Accident never happen they are caused."

The OP clearly has has no concept of boundaries. She wonders how this situation happened. As she has a boyfriend she should not have been flirting with another guy. What was she doing in his bedroom on his bed. Does she understands the concept of "Personal Space"?

She removed these barriers and safety catches. It is a combination of all these that led to this. If one or more of these things never happened there would be no reason for this post.

I have to admit I would be "(grudgingly) fine" with my GF meeting an ex that had a crush on her. But being in his bedroom, sharing a bed and being in that close proximity would raise big red flags. The Op has no sense of responsibly here.

[aya startin wha]

Originally Posted by gypsy_rose

Yes but it might teach him to think twice next time. And most people do not act like that with people they're not in a relationship with, he needs to learn that. How can you say he didn't cross any boundaries? That's insane, he crossed every boundary possible.

Originally Posted by skooterblue2

"Accident never happen they are caused."

The OP clearly has has no concept of boundaries. She wonders how this situation happened. As she has a boyfriend she should not have been flirting with another guy. What was she doing in his bedroom on his bed. Does she understands the concept of "Personal Space"?

She removed these barriers and safety catches. It is a combination of all these that led to this. If one or more of these things never happened there would be no reason for this post.

I have to admit I would be "(grudgingly) fine" with my GF meeting an ex that had a crush on her. But being in his bedroom, sharing a bed and being in that close proximity would raise big red flags. The Op has no sense of responsibly here.

Pretty much what scooterblue said.

[Princess Peach]

The OP is getting victim blamed a lot here. I can't imagine how she feels reading this

People say she acted inappropriately, does that make it her fault? You could ask the same of victims of assault who flirted with guys, who were drunk, who wore a short skirt.

Being in a guys bedroom does not give him the right to force himself on her. I can't see anything in the OPs posts that send a clear signal to him that she wanted this. Mixed signals do not entitle this man's behaviour.

And she feels she has been assaulted and came here for advice on how she can deal with that. Not to be judged.

OP I really hope you seek counselling from a professional, who will know how to objectively talk to you about this experience.

[skooterblue2]

Originally Posted by Princess Peach

People say she acted inappropriately, does that make it her fault? You could ask the same of victims of assault who flirted with guys, who were drunk, who wore a short skirt.

Being in a guys bedroom does not give him the right to force himself on her. I can't see anything in the OPs posts that send a clear signal to him that she wanted this. Mixed signals do not entitle this man's behaviour.

And she feels she has been assaulted and came here for advice on how she can deal with that. Not to be judged.

OP I really hope you seek counselling from a professional, who will know how to objectively talk to you about this experience.

So many issues there...where to begin. It not the fact that she flirted with him or was up in his bedroom, lay down beside him and licked his face, and had a history of rough sex with the guy, who still fancied her. Its the combination of all those that gave the green light. I am not into rough sex or other guys girls but all those factors would green light it for me. If she licked his face in a cafe it would just be plain weird or if they were watching a film in the living room that would be fine, but when you put them all together .....

I personally think they both need counselling after this

[Taltos]

Originally Posted by WhatNow?

In any case, if this thread is going in the direction of commenting on my relationship with my boyfriend, would it be possible to lock it, please, mods? I've gotten the response I was looking for to the questions I asked, so it's an issue resolved.

Per the OP's request.