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Friends · 17-07-2012, 04:15

Hello forum.
I met a guy who may be turning into a bit of a crush. he's really ****ing charming and I think I love him to bits.

before I realized how much I loved him to bits and I just sort of knew him as an acquaintance I willy-nilly invited him on a date which he said no to.
The question is I don't know wither the message was a tactful "sorry I'm not interested" or wither the reason was genuine (I was moving away for a while and I wouldn't be around for days on end, he said he didn't want to start anything up because providing we'd hit it off he'd hate then not being able to socialize with or without me). At the time it was six of one and half a dozen of the other and I just got on with my day and thought "fair enough".

But now I've been given breathing space (and met the guy a few more times, social encounters) my feelings keep getting stronger and I'm in a position where I need to find out for sure if it was a tactful "not interested", or wither it was a true reason for not wanting to see if there was anything there.

Should I just ask him straight, remember before? well... was that a "no, not interested" or a "come back and have another go in a month or so when your finished your moving"?

the worst that'll happen is he'll say "yes that was me saying I'm not interested in you, nice and all a chap you are"

why is that so terrifying?

**mango salsa** · 18-07-2012, 01:15

Could you just ask him on another date? given that circumstances have changed and you are around more now.

Aurongroove · 18-07-2012, 22:10

I agree with salsa. let us know how it went though!

Chuchoter · 18-07-2012, 23:35

Don't be so formal, I personally think Irish people are **** at the concept of dating and don't understand it. Go out for a few drinks with your mates, bring him, then say you really like him and say what you said in your post about being unsure

AodhDub · 20-07-2012, 01:35

Being afraid of rejection makes no sense I think. As hard as it can be to ask him, if it were me I'd much rather know the story. Then ya don't have to worry about it anymore. Or maybe you'll have to worry about where to go on your date. Win win either way!

Friends · 20-07-2012, 17:19

How it ended:

got Friend-zoned.

AodhDub · 22-07-2012, 02:47

Ah well man, fair play for asking. One of these days that attitude will pay off for you. (At least that's what I'm telling myself.)

17-07-2012, 04:15	#1
Rand0mer Guest Posts: n/a Adverts \| Friends	One of those, what do you think threads... Hello forum. I met a guy who may be turning into a bit of a crush. he's really ****ing charming and I think I love him to bits. before I realized how much I loved him to bits and I just sort of knew him as an acquaintance I willy-nilly invited him on a date which he said no to. The question is I don't know wither the message was a tactful "sorry I'm not interested" or wither the reason was genuine (I was moving away for a while and I wouldn't be around for days on end, he said he didn't want to start anything up because providing we'd hit it off he'd hate then not being able to socialize with or without me). At the time it was six of one and half a dozen of the other and I just got on with my day and thought "fair enough". But now I've been given breathing space (and met the guy a few more times, social encounters) my feelings keep getting stronger and I'm in a position where I need to find out for sure if it was a tactful "not interested", or wither it was a true reason for not wanting to see if there was anything there. Should I just ask him straight, remember before? well... was that a "no, not interested" or a "come back and have another go in a month or so when your finished your moving"? the worst that'll happen is he'll say "yes that was me saying I'm not interested in you, nice and all a chap you are" why is that so terrifying?

18-07-2012, 01:15	#2
mango salsa Moderator Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 9,535 Adverts \| Friends Mod: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender, Wicklow	Could you just ask him on another date? given that circumstances have changed and you are around more now.

18-07-2012, 22:10	#3
Aurongroove Registered User Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 774 Adverts \| Friends	I agree with salsa. let us know how it went though!

18-07-2012, 23:35	#4
Chuchoter Registered User Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 4,343 Adverts \| Friends	Don't be so formal, I personally think Irish people are **** at the concept of dating and don't understand it. Go out for a few drinks with your mates, bring him, then say you really like him and say what you said in your post about being unsure

20-07-2012, 01:35	#5
AodhDub Registered User Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 31 Adverts \| Friends	Being afraid of rejection makes no sense I think. As hard as it can be to ask him, if it were me I'd much rather know the story. Then ya don't have to worry about it anymore. Or maybe you'll have to worry about where to go on your date. Win win either way!

20-07-2012, 17:19	#6
Rand0mer Guest Posts: n/a Adverts \| Friends	How it ended: got Friend-zoned.

22-07-2012, 02:47	#7
AodhDub Registered User Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 31 Adverts \| Friends	Ah well man, fair play for asking. One of these days that attitude will pay off for you. (At least that's what I'm telling myself.)