This I suppose is a very trivial issue, so apologies in advance, but would just like to get some feedback as its really bothering me.
A promotion came up in work a short while back, which was advertised internally first as per union rules. Another person who was at the same level as me went for it and so I didnt apply because I felt like my colleague would easily get it instead of me. I was too embarrassed to be rejected and have everyone else in the office know that I wasnt good enough to get the job. My colleague got the job as I knew he would.
Anyway, that same colleague has just handed in his notice and will be leaving, so the job opens up again. The problem is that while I want to apply for the opening, I think ive messed things up too much trying to hide my lack of confidence. My boss asked me why I didnt originally apply and I made up some lame excuse about not being able to do the shift for that job. I also told everyone else in the office the same thing, making out like I didnt really want it and I was happy where i was.
I do want it, but how do I apply now and do a complete turn around on what I was telling people just a fortnight ago. Also, as theyve already posted in internally, it will probably go external so there will be more applicants. Im already thinking of the shame if I applied now and didnt get it ahead of someone external (as the company is big on internal promotion, so I'd look really bad if i didnt get it i think).
Im just so annoyed myself that Ive messed up this chance. I'm currently stuck at the lowest possible level in work and this was my chance to move up. Its not even about the money, it was more the opportunity to learn a lot of new skills which would really have stood to me in future