Originally Posted by shoes34
I said something to her at lunchtime, shaking while saying it!! Just said to her that I didn't want to come as a bitch but just before things get too out of hand I would rather if her boyfriend wasn't over every weekend as its the only time I have off work and I don't want to play gooseberry in my own house. Said I think he's a lovely guy but just before things get too out of hand that its my home and just that would like to be able to enjoy my weekends in my home. She was like what do you want me to do about it not have a boyfriend and I tried to explain to her that that was not what I was saying and maybe it was coming across wrong and I didn't want to sound awful. Didn't bother saying anything about the neighbours. I texted my mate who works with her to warn her that she'd probably be moody this afternoon.
Now for a lovely evening at home where no doubt she'll mention it to the other tenant.
If I were her I would be annoyed if I found out that you had texted someone I work with to fill them in. How unprofessional is that? She is paying you to rent a room in your house, its a business arrangement and should be treated as such, regardless of her perceived wrongdoings. You want her to respect your house rules but tbh telling her colleague personal info re her living arrangements etc is bang out of order on your part. I would be furious, and would probably move out asap.
I think you are wasting far too much time wondering about what this person or that person said or might say or might think etc etc. You were worried your other flatmate might move out as some kind of show of solidarity for this girl. Then you were worried she would be sulking when you confront her. Now you have dragged someone else into the equation (her colleague nonetheless)...seriously.
Either tell her out straight what ground rules you want in place or let it go. Tipping at it and then recoiling at the first whiff of a reaction will not get you anywhere.
Dont mean to sound harsh but I really think you will tear yourself in two emotionally trying to sort this thing out. And also, people will (sadly) take advantage if they think they can.