[shoes34]

I rent out two rooms in my home. One of the girls has had a long term boyfriend but he comes to the house very infrequently she usually goes to him at the weekends or he goes to her home place. He lives in another county. The other girl just started dating a guy about a month ago and so far he has been in the house a lot at the weekends, except last weekend she went to him and he is coming again this weekend.

I don't want to be horrible and say I don't want him there every weekend as this is the only time I have in my own home and I don't want to be uncomfortable and feel like I am playing gooseberry in my own home. But at the same time I don't want him there every weekend, I don't mind if its like once a month - does this sound terribly unfair and can anyone give me advice on how to broach the subject with this tenant as she can be very moody and I don't want to fall out over it.

Thanks.

[eadire]

I personally do not see the problem. Are they taking over the whole house? I use to go over to my boyfriends house when he was renting and the owner of the house made us both feel very uncomfortable so much so that he moved out.
Do they sit in the sitting room all weekend or are they just staying in the house at night? If it is a matter they sit in the sitting room all weekend and do nothing but watch your tv then talk to her about this and tell her you do not have a problem with him staying over but you would like to be able to watch television in your house.

[ibarelycare]

OP are they spending most of the time they're in the house in the communal areas? If they are then I'd definitely have a word with her. You're paying rent and should be allowed to enjoy your house without having to share the space with someone you feel uncomfortable with.

However if they spend most of the time in her room then I don't think it should be an issue.

I stay in my boyfriend's place a good bit but we rarely watch TV or spend time in the sitting room if his housemate is there. We'll cook dinner and eat it out there and then spend the rest of the evening in the bedroom.

[shoes34]

I don't make them feel uncomfortable, I just would rather not have an extra person in my home from Friday to Sunday most weekends. I rent to two people not to three or four. Its the only time I get to relax at home. I dont' mind if it was once a month.

The first time he stayed he got up during the night and couldn't find his way back to her room and ended up walking into my room. Luckily I woke up and told him he was in teh wrong room. The follow weekend when he was staying I actually left because I didn't want to sit there a be a gooseberry in my own home.

Its is my home, I don't rent it they rent a room from me.

Sit her down and say you need to have some ground rules regarding overnight guests. As your renting a room in your home they aren't covered by the Residential Tenancies Act 2004 and she actually has very few rights, however not saying that as a free pass to be a dick. Be reasonable but at the end of the day its your private home if your not comfortable you might have to ask her to move out or she may opt to move out if she doesn't like your request or she might be fine with it and no even realized the BF had been over to often, you won't know unless you talk with her.

[ibarelycare]

Originally Posted by shoes34

I don't make them feel uncomfortable, I just would rather not have an extra person in my home from Friday to Sunday most weekends. I rent to two people not to three or four. Its the only time I get to relax at home. I dont' mind if it was once a month.

The first time he stayed he got up during the night and couldn't find his way back to her room and ended up walking into my room. Luckily I woke up and told him he was in teh wrong room. The follow weekend when he was staying I actually left because I didn't want to sit there a be a gooseberry in my own home.

Its is my home, I don't rent it they rent a room from me.

I'm not sure if you were replying to me there, but I didn't say you made them uncomfortable. I said that they shouldn't make you uncomfortable in your own home.

You didn't answer about where they spend most their time. You said you feel like a "gooesberry", so presumably they spend a lot of time in the communal area?

If this is the case then I think it might be ok to ask them to cut down on using it a bit so you can relax. But if they don't use it that much and spend most of the time in the bedroom then I don't think it's really fair that you ask her to cut it down to once a month.

Originally Posted by shoes34

I don't make them feel uncomfortable, I just would rather not have an extra person in my home from Friday to Sunday most weekends. I rent to two people not to three or four. Its the only time I get to relax at home. I dont' mind if it was once a month.

The first time he stayed he got up during the night and couldn't find his way back to her room and ended up walking into my room. Luckily I woke up and told him he was in teh wrong room. The follow weekend when he was staying I actually left because I didn't want to sit there a be a gooseberry in my own home.

Its is my home, I don't rent it they rent a room from me.

Are they renting a room, or paying to share a house? i.e Do they have use of the kitchen, living room etc or is their agreement based on some sort of reduced rent to limit their access? When you decided to have them pay part of the mortgage, you lost the right to call it "your house" for the duration of their tenancy. I'm sorry that this isn't how you want it to be, but at least you get to keep the house afterwards - they get nothing but a rent book showing them how much of your mortgage they paid.

[petethebrick]

Your tenants are taking advantage a bit.

You are completely within your right to request them to not have guests so often hanging around the kitchen/living room. Renting a room in someone else's house is different than sharing a house or an apartment with some friends and your tenants should be aware of that.
Explain to them that you expect peace and quiet in the kitchen/living room at weekends and that if their boyfriends stay over they either go out for the day/night or confine their activities to the bedroom.

A lot of owner occupiers would not allow tenant's guests to stay over regularly at all, never mind having the full run of the kitchen and living room.

[MissFlitworth]

Originally Posted by shoes34

I don't mind if its like once a month - does this sound terribly unfair and can anyone give me advice on how to broach the subject with this tenant as she can be very moody and I don't want to fall out over it.

I guess it depends on how much you depend on your tenants. You get a lot of people who would never live with an owner occupier for that specific reason, you have no rights & they can ask you to do stuff like that. Once a month to have your boyfriend over, to me, sounds ridiculously little and if I was living somewhere that I was asked to do that I'd leave & move into a houseshare where I wasn't living with an owner. Could you compromise on one night a week maybe? Or have a general house discussion on having people stay over and come up with something that works for all three of you

[wylo]

2 sides to this:

1. Its your house , you shouldnt feel uncomfortable in your own home.

2. You are renting to people, which means there are elements of your lifestyle and expectations that you must give up. You cant have it both ways, i.e. "your own home" but also making money from tenants, if they feel they cant relax in their own home then you just gotta pay the full mortgage yourself.


I have a friend/flatmate. We often talk about how you have to compromise when living with other people. He said something like "if I owned the house Id make sure things were done this way", and at the same time hes been talking recently of buying a house and us all moving in there. I told him that if I felt uncomfortable where I lived and felt i was being bossed around Id probably move somewhere else. Point being, its their home too you know.

Your decision really is based on whether they are spending time in the communal area or not, tbh, if theyre staying in their own room you dont have a leg to stand on imo. You may be the boss, but its their home too and thats the sacrifice you have to make if you want people paying rent. If they ARE in the communal area, then yea, I can see how that would be annoying.

[eadire]

The thing is you are renting two rooms and unless you put in their contract they could not have guests over they have ever right to invite people over. Especially if they are not causing trouble such as fighting or ruining the house. They are paying you rent to stay their and they have rights too. I understand where you are coming from but from being on the other side I know exactly what this is like. It is horrible to be told you cant stay over with your boyfriend because the owner of the house doesnt want it. If they don't pay their rent on time then you can fight them on it but if they are no problem as tenants then you cannot argue with them.

[Eroticfishcake]

I think it's completely unreasonable to expect someone to only have their boyfriend over once a month. So if you had a boyfriend, would you not have him stayover or are there different rules for you because you own the house?

If you need the rent, you give up the right to having everything your own way and you need to compromise with the other tenants.

I rented rooms in my own house and never had an issue with partners staying over.

[iguana]

Originally Posted by shoes34

I don't make them feel uncomfortable, I just would rather not have an extra person in my home from Friday to Sunday most weekends. I rent to two people not to three or four. Its the only time I get to relax at home. I dont' mind if it was once a month.

You have every legal right to lay down a rule about monthly visitors if you wish however having a boyfriend over a couple of nights a week/6-7 times a month is not an unreasonable expectation for a tenant and most people would move out asap if you tried to bring in such a rule. If they are taking over the living room/kitchen for the whole weekend then it's fair enough to say that this isn't on, but if they are spending most of the time in the girl's bedroom then you're being unreasonable.

I can understand how it's your house and you feel proprietorial toward it, but they are paying rent for a home which they can live in like adults. If you rent out rooms in your house you have to take the negative (not having the house to yourself) with the positive (their money).

[I am a friend]

Originally Posted by iguana

I can understand how it's your house and you feel proprietorial toward it, but they are paying rent for a home which they can live in like adults. If you rent out rooms in your house you have to take the negative (not having the house to yourself) with the positive (their money).

I agree with this. Its their home too and as long as they are not being destructive then you cant say anything.

Originally Posted by mewriti exam

they get nothing but a rent book showing them how much of your mortgage they paid.

Actually they don't get a rent book if the OP doesn't want to give them one. They are a licensee or lodger and not a tenant. They are not covered by the Residential Tenancies Act 2004 and as such have few rights.

Originally Posted by eadire

The thing is you are renting two rooms and unless you put in their contract they could not have guests over they have ever right to invite people over. Especially if they are not causing trouble such as fighting or ruining the house. They are paying you rent to stay their and they have rights too. I understand where you are coming from but from being on the other side I know exactly what this is like. It is horrible to be told you cant stay over with your boyfriend because the owner of the house doesnt want it. If they don't pay their rent on time then you can fight them on it but if they are no problem as tenants then you cannot argue with them.

They don't have rights. They have no contract with the OP as they are not a tenant, they are renting under the rent a room scheme and are not protected by the Residential Tenancies Act 2004. The OP can ask them to leave at any time and does not need to give them any reason nor any notice. I'm not saying the OP should do this but just pointing out that it's misinformation to claim the lodger has rights that they don't have. OP go check the citizens information page on the rent a room scheme. As you can't go via the PRTB as your not covered by the Residential Tenancies Act 2004 they rec you should try discussing the situation with them and attempt to resolve any issues between you. If you can't then you have to make the choice of either living with it or asking her to leave.