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29-03-2012, 15:40   #1
Phoenix
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Poetry Megathread

Hi again,
I know i already mentioned earlier about having a separate thread for poetry,but i think it would be an asset to the forum and may encourage people to post their work,Also would allow poets to have critiques on their work(s) to allow them to improve,what do ye think?
I noticed there was a forum request for a Poetry sub-forum but perhaps this would be the best of both?
Ideas?thoughts?
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29-03-2012, 15:44   #2
pickarooney
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Two threads but no poems. This is the Creative Writing forum where anyone can post poems and specify if they want feedback or not.
What are you waiting for exactly?
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29-03-2012, 15:48   #3
Phoenix
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Originally Posted by pickarooney View Post
Two threads but no poems. This is the Creative Writing forum where anyone can post poems and specify if they want feedback or not.
What are you waiting for exactly?
A green light?
OK,I'll start the ball rolling..
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29-03-2012, 15:50   #4
Phoenix
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Tempest

A whirlpool of deceit:a never-ending cycle ensues
Hidden storms over calm waters
Nothing is, as it seems
Streams of negativity flow
Into waters ill at ease

Hidden feelings reappearing
The eye of the inner tempest shearing,
Lone gone the coat of love
Bare and naked fearing

Torrid winds roar, cruel waves bash against the shore
Eroding ones soul further into obscurity
Darkness falls over troubled waters
The mournful hymn of the soulless
Could be heard all round
In this boundless sea of turmoil.


Any suggestions,critique most welcome
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04-04-2012, 04:55   #5
supp
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nice
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25-04-2012, 00:42   #6
crazyhorsecowle
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Your poem is lovely,tempest.

A Bitch and It's world.

I hail from nothing and I've nothing to give,
I hail from nothing and in nothing I live,
I hail for forgiveness and I have broken your heart,
I hail from a love lost, it was lost from the start.

I was bred from a madness in conclusion a sadness,
an every day sadness of a Bitch and it's World,
And this foregone illusion can't stop my conclusion,
My conclusion that nothing breeds nothing at all.

Society's just broken down
And all it's walls come tumbling down,
And the Heaven's Lord's have closed their gates,
And cooperate to coordinate on how to seal our fate,
Like a delegation of politicians who must decree our faith.

To you I'll stick my finger up
And give to you this hollow cup,
And toast to your brilliance, your throne and your crown,
With your ever present vultures that strip us and rape us,
Only death can now save us,
And deliver us down.

I was bred from a madness, in conclusion a sadness,
An every day sadness of a Bitch and it's World,
And this foregone illusion can't stop my conclusion,
My conclusion that nothing breeds nothing at all.

Enable hope to take first place,
Amongst this deluded degenerate race,
But pity us not, for here pity's lost,
Like a flower in December, fallen victim to frost.
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25-04-2012, 02:25   #7
An File
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Here's one that seems to be picking up a few views in the ol' poetry blog.

Closing Time

The nightclub undimmed all its lights
At half past two and sent us packing,
Allowing only time to search for coats
And exclamations of another job well done;
Another personal best for which prevention,
The next step, would out-weigh cure.

Then eight diverged to five and three
Outside the shining kebab shop door,
Allowing time for smiles, mischievous grins
And exclamations from a Donor-virgin’s lips;
Add a new favourite to the menu list!
Then back outside into the rain

To search after the other five
And make up eight for the wet walk home.
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25-04-2012, 02:36   #8
golden lane
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ah!, such is life, the man declared
so much around, but nothing shared
can we not hold out our hand
and share with all, from this green land

why people have, more than their shares
and those without, with forlorn stares
why one can have more, than their fill
then leave to others, in their will

is today, not hungers need
is life much better, filled with greed
and one day will those not repent
what's on this earth, is heaven sent
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25-04-2012, 02:40   #9
crazyhorsecowle
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A tribute to my bed!!

Why a bed is more than just somewhere you sleep....

You are mostly conceived in a bed

You give birth in a bed

You dream in your sleep and HEY PRESTO!!!
You sleep in your bed.

You make love in a bed (hopefully often!!)

Your bed is what holds you when you are sick
And releases you when you are well,

And when you die
You hopefully by the grace of God
Die peacefully in your bed.

So enjoy your bed!

Written whilst sitting on my bed! Hee Hee!!!
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25-04-2012, 13:24   #10
Whelpling
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Insect Overlord View Post
Here's one that seems to be picking up a few views in the ol' poetry blog.

Closing Time

The nightclub undimmed all its lights
At half past two and sent us packing,
Allowing only time to search for coats
And exclamations of another job well done;
Another personal best for which prevention,
The next step, would out-weigh cure.

Then eight diverged to five and three
Outside the shining kebab shop door,
Allowing time for smiles, mischievous grins
And exclamations from a Donor-virgin’s lips;
Add a new favourite to the menu list!
Then back outside into the rain

To search after the other five
And make up eight for the wet walk home.
Love this.

I think it's 'Doner' - but that's pretty irrelevant. Still love it.
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26-04-2012, 19:56   #11
tubby trucker
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M

Mindless Minds,
Mind Moronic Morons,
Minding Mindless Minds.
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26-04-2012, 20:03   #12
insight_man
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aquila View Post
Tempest

A whirlpool of deceit:a never-ending cycle ensues
Hidden storms over calm waters
Nothing is, as it seems
Streams of negativity flow
Into waters ill at ease

Hidden feelings reappearing
The eye of the inner tempest shearing,
Lone gone the coat of love
Bare and naked fearing

Torrid winds roar, cruel waves bash against the shore
Eroding ones soul further into obscurity
Darkness falls over troubled waters
The mournful hymn of the soulless
Could be heard all round
In this boundless sea of turmoil.

Very good. I read into it that this comes from some personal experience. Not prying but most good poetry comes from our life experiences.

Any suggestions,critique most welcome
Very good. I think it comes from personal experience. Not prying, but most good poetry comes from personal experience
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26-04-2012, 20:09   #13
insight_man
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyhorsecowle View Post
A Bitch and It's world.

I hail from nothing and I've nothing to give,
I hail from nothing and in nothing I live,
I hail for forgiveness and I have broken your heart,
I hail from a love lost, it was lost from the start.

I was bred from a madness in conclusion a sadness,
an every day sadness of a Bitch and it's World,
And this foregone illusion can't stop my conclusion,
My conclusion that nothing breeds nothing at all.

Society's just broken down
And all it's walls come tumbling down,
And the Heaven's Lord's have closed their gates,
And cooperate to coordinate on how to seal our fate,
Like a delegation of politicians who must decree our faith.

To you I'll stick my finger up
And give to you this hollow cup,
And toast to your brilliance, your throne and your crown,
With your ever present vultures that strip us and rape us,
Only death can now save us,
And deliver us down.

I was bred from a madness, in conclusion a sadness,
An every day sadness of a Bitch and it's World,
And this foregone illusion can't stop my conclusion,
My conclusion that nothing breeds nothing at all.

Enable hope to take first place,
Amongst this deluded degenerate race,
But pity us not, for here pity's lost,
Like a flower in December, fallen victim to frost.
Very dark work. Fatalistic even. Good play with words and well written.
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26-04-2012, 20:11   #14
insight_man
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Quote:
Originally Posted by golden lane View Post
ah!, such is life, the man declared
so much around, but nothing shared
can we not hold out our hand
and share with all, from this green land

why people have, more than their shares
and those without, with forlorn stares
why one can have more, than their fill
then leave to others, in their will

is today, not hungers need
is life much better, filled with greed
and one day will those not repent
what's on this earth, is heaven sent
Really like this!
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26-04-2012, 21:34   #15
crazyhorsecowle
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Quote:
Originally Posted by insight_man View Post
Very dark work. Fatalistic even. Good play with words and well written.
Thank you so much for your comment,it means a lot.
Thank you also for the new word fatalistic.I looked it up,very interesting.

I never have an idea before I write,it usually stems from a word or feeling or tune that gives me a rhythm for the way the words progress.
I am sometimes surprised myself of the way they map out and the places and feelings I transport myself to whilst writing.


This is my first time ever putting up my words for people to see in a specific place designated to writing,so I was very nervous in doing so.
I don't mind whether people like or dislike it but at least by putting it up it gives people the chance to find out.

I love reading peoples words ,and wish there were more to read on this creative writing section.

Thanks again and I hope to get the opportunity to speak with you again.
Fatalistic.....love it.
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