[WhyGoBald]

Originally Posted by ebixa82

You need to realise that there is nothing wrong with your friend smoking the odd joint. She is doing nobody any harm.

For you to judge them show's a serious lack of judgement on your part.

You really need to try and overcome this. The problem here is you and your narrow minded opinions.

Live a little and relax.

Wow. Most of the advice here has been to berate the OP for his/her stance, and s/he is supposed to be the sanctimonious one!

OP, if you and your friend are as close as you say, I would talk to her. I doubt it will offend her to know that you have a problem with her drug taking since she probably has an idea of your stance. You can probably stipulate that you don't want to have anything to do with the business and that you'd rather not hear about it either. Once you are both on the same page about it, I don't see any ethical issue with continuing your friendship.

[Beruthiel]

Originally Posted by holyhead

Beruthiel if you read some of my earlier posts you will understand it is not just the illegality of drug taking that bothers me.

I understand that.
But, do you then get my point that if you have a problem with her smoking grass, to the extent that you feel you must say something, then you must also say something to the people you know who drink or smoke?
You cannot pick and chose.

[holyhead]

Originally Posted by WhyGoBald

Wow. Most of the advice here has been to berate the OP for his/her stance, and s/he is supposed to be the sanctimonious one!

OP, if you and your friend are as close as you say, I would talk to her. I doubt it will offend her to know that you have a problem with her drug taking since she probably has an idea of your stance. You can probably stipulate that you don't want to have anything to do with the business and that you'd rather not hear about it either. Once you are both on the same page about it, I don't see any ethical issue with continuing your friendship.

We had many ding dongs over the extent of her drinking so I certainly wouldn't see much point in giving her grief over her use of soft drugs as she calls them. I accept the issue is on my side as she has always shown me nothing but respect, kindness and thoughfulness. I is a he btw

[Doctor Jimbob]

OP, I've noticed you talk about sinners and sinning a lot in your posts, is your stance on this coming from a religious point of view?
If so, how would you feel if one of your friends felt this way about you because of your religious beliefs? Now before anyone says this is a daft comparison, one of your arguments against drug use was the crimes comminted by drug dealers. What about religiously motivated suicide bombings? The obvious crimes commited by the Catholic Church? Again this is all assuming you've used these terms because you're actually religious and not just because it's a common thing to say.

[Doctor Jimbob]

Originally Posted by holyhead

We had many ding dongs over the extent of her drinking so I certainly wouldn't see much point in giving her grief over her use of soft drugs as she calls them. I accept the issue is on my side as she has always shown me nothing but respect, kindness and thoughfulness. I is a he btw

It is not just what she calls them, it's what they are called. You're exaggerating the issue by phrasing things in this way.

[holyhead]

Originally Posted by Beruthiel

I understand that.
But, do you then get my point that if you have a problem with her smoking grass, to the extent that you feel you must say something, then you must also say something to the people you know who drink or smoke?
You cannot pick and chose.

I really don't see the point in saying anything to her Beruthiel. She's very head strong but at the end of the day she is there for me if I have something on my mind which makes her a most valuable friend. Not quite sure I get your arguement vis a vis smoking and drinking. But I respect your position on this.

[holyhead]

Originally Posted by Doctor Jimbob

It is not just what she calls them, it's what they are called. You're exaggerating the issue by phrasing things in this way.

How so Doc. Its just that I don't believe in the concept of soft drugs. Drugs are drugs and are illegal both in supply and consumption. I'm only paraphrasing her.

[Doctor Jimbob]

Originally Posted by holyhead

How so Doc. Its just that I don't believe in the concept of soft drugs. Drugs are drugs and are illegal both in supply and consumption. I'm only paraphrasing her.

As people have already pointed out to you, look at some laws from even 100 years ago, and how ridiculous they seem today.

[holyhead]

Originally Posted by Doctor Jimbob

OP, I've noticed you talk about sinners and sinning a lot in your posts, is your stance on this coming from a religious point of view?
If so, how would you feel if one of your friends felt this way about you because of your religious beliefs? Now before anyone says this is a daft comparison, one of your arguments against drug use was the crimes comminted by drug dealers. What about religiously motivated suicide bombings? The obvious crimes commited by the Catholic Church? Again this is all assuming you've used these terms because you're actually religious and not just because it's a common thing to say.

Its funny you should bring up the religious aspect. Not religious tbh just used the sin/sinner analogy for want of a better way of putting it. Look at the end of the day when you boil it down your left with a close friend of mine who is making a lifestyle choice with which I am uncomfortable. It makes neither of us bad people.

[Doctor Jimbob]

Originally Posted by holyhead

Its funny you should bring up the religious aspect. Not religious tbh just used the sin/sinner analogy for want of a better way of putting it. Look at the end of the day when you boil it down your left with a close friend of mine who is making a lifestyle choice with which I am uncomfortable. It makes neither of us bad people.

I was just wondering as I thought that might be a good angle to take it from to illustrate how you're being a bit harsh on your friend. Fair enough!

[Chevolution]

I'd hardly consider smoking weed a destructive lifestyle, you can't tell her to stop or that it's wrong, you're just going to have to accept that this is what your friend wants to do.

[Keela11]

A lot of people seem to be ignoring the OPs point about the supplying of weed (and most illegal drugs) having a negative impact on...well, a lot of people (depending on its source) but I still side with most people, OP, when I say that you should probably just get over it.

I mean, if she's a good friend then I really don't see any reason to stop talking to her. I'd be willing to bet that about 95% of my friends do something I would consider morally wrong in varying degrees, from using "gay" to mean "bad" to eating meat, shoplifting or cheating.

If it's something that's actively impacting on your friendship then by all means I'd say talk to her about how you feel and if that fails cut her lose but otherwise I wouldn't really do anything..perhaps other than not hang out with her at times when she's going to be smoking or whatever.

Ultimately it's your choice though and if you feel that it's too difficult for you to be friends with her then maybe you should stop. Only you can determine your own morals after all even if most people will think you're being a little ott.

[curlzy]

Originally Posted by holyhead

I really don't see the point in saying anything to her Beruthiel. She's very head strong but at the end of the day she is there for me if I have something on my mind which makes her a most valuable friend. Not quite sure I get your arguement vis a vis smoking and drinking. But I respect your position on this.

OP, if you have no intention of saying anything to her or of breaking the friendship, how is this a dilemma for you? If you just want to discuss the rights and wrong then I think you're in the wrong forum.

[holyhead]

Originally Posted by curlzy

OP, if you have no intention of saying anything to her or of breaking the friendship, how is this a dilemma for you? If you just want to discuss the rights and wrong then I think you're in the wrong forum.

Curlzy I take on board what you are saying. For me there is no right or wrong. In my opinion taking drugs soft or otherwise is wrong. Others hold a contrary view. It was a dilemna for me in the sense that I wondered should I disconnect. I was unlikely to ever saying anything to her as I know from experience from other issues it would be pointless. With the benefit of those who posted fair comments and having had time to reflect on the issue I believe that her friendship is more important than any moral objection to an aspect of her lifestyle.

[I am a friend]

Originally Posted by iguana

Then you opinion is clearly not one of much experience.

Sadly you are wrong... I have been there from the 'harmless' drug taking to the funeral from an o/d.. All of this progressed while my friend kept down a very difficult, technical job and a good relationship... If anyone thinks grass isnt bad for you either mentally, emotionally or even physically then you are mental. Its a stepping stone to hard drugs for people who have a 'want' in them, whatever that want is....

Originally Posted by iguana

Drugs do not ruin lives

Really?