[Tweet0004]

;)Do you think that "the one " exists, have you found the one and how did you know. What made them different from other relationships or was it just that you were older and wiser.

[fallen01angel]

I don't think my "one" has managed to crawl out of whatever lab they're making him in yet
But I do think he's out there-hope springs eternal.....or something like that

[Scarinae]

I don't believe in 'the one'. What if it did exist, but your soulmate happened to live in another country and you never met them?

[Giselle]

The world is full of potential partners, some would be a better match than others, but none of them is the one and only.

Rom-com peddled romantic ideas only foster unrealistic expectations.

[Morgase]

I think Tim Minchin's "If I didn't have you (someone else would do)" sums it up quite well:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gaid72fqzNE

[Pembily]

I believe there is someone for everyone but I really hope there isn't just one. What if you meet "the one" and the timing is bad, or something like that...

[CathyMoran]

I am with the one - so many things happened before we met and even on out first meeting - when I was going through the worst time of my life and was away from him I went to a place that we used to go to and it made me happy - that was when I knew.

[Links234]

I've definetly found the one for me. And I just knew when I first met her.

[Linguo]

I've definitely found the one which is something I truly thought I wouldn't find but it is the most incredible thing if you are lucky enough to find your soulmate, you just know in your heart you could never be apart from one another, you could never give up on one another, it's just true love and it's very special and I don't take it for granted because it's everything to me.

But I know that a lot of people may never meet 'the one' so I think that person can be anyone you have that truely special love with, it could be a parent, a sibling, a pet or a friend.

[Wibbs]

[Cynic]Never mind the odds of there being only one person out of billions for you never mind finding them.. I've noted this "One" tends to be retrospective over a lifetime. Just like the "love at first sight" thing. Plus it tends to be forced and stuck to when this distinction/decision is made, even if down the line it's obvious as the nose on a big nosed blokes face that oil and water are more compatible. This belief in the one/fate etc may serve to keep a couple together when otherwise they'd split for valid reasons, reasons that may be temporary, so it may have some relationship value. Certainly I would say people can be more laissez faire about splitting up than they may have been in the past when societial structures and pressures kept them together. That can defo go both ways though.

I've also known quite a few people* to say "X is the one", then it goes belly up and this previous statement of fact isn't mentioned, even forgotten(the mind rejects it) and sooner or later another "One" pops up on radar. I've certainly known many who've not stayed with this magical one. And no surprise there. For a start we all grow and change over time. The One at 19 is highly unlikely to be the One at 30 or 50, unless you are very compatible and change with each other.

So yea for me it's largely magical thinking born of romantic notions, culture and with maybe a small side order of evolutionary psyhchology. In reality however I certainly wouldn't believe in it on an objective level, even though I've felt it on the subjective level myself. Stepping back and after the fact I knew it was daft/my mind and emotions playing tricks.

*I've noticed this idea in many more women than men. Ditto for the love at first sight and talk of relationship "fate". I've no idea why as these would not be daft or wooly headed people. In many cases quite the contrary in fact. These ideas are fairly rare even in men whose IQ matches their shoe size. [/Cynic]

[evilmonkee]

Originally Posted by Morgase

I think Tim Minchin's "If I didn't have you (someone else would do)" sums it up quite well:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gaid72fqzNE

Completely agree! Especially that love grows along with you as a couple, I think that the idea of "the one" is so statistically and probabilisticly impossible that logic dictates it to be a near impossibility.

Saying that, I love my partner and I never want to be with anyone else.

[newmug]

Answer: Yes, and yes.

[Princess Peach]

I believe in the one. It's when you are with someone and have no doubts that you want to be with them forever, and no doubts how happy and in love ye both are. I had been in love before but had lots of doubts!

Maybe there are other matched for you in the world, but the point is once you meet the one you stop looking. I've met guys since who are great fun to be around and we get along so well, but I have never looked at them in any light other than as a friend.

Its a great feeling

[Logical Fallacy]

The "one" absolutely exists, it's people conceptualization and fantasy fetish of "the one" that is filled with plot holes.

Attraction is largely chemical, over the course of our lives we will meet thousands of people, many of which fall into our sphere of attraction. They set us off in just the right ways and we will feel either an instant or growing attraction to them.

I've had a fair few relationships, over time I evolved into a pretty decent boyfriend. Looking back my first relationship was flawed from the get go, I had no real idea of how to actually share my life with someone. It's something I learned over time, in much the same way as i learned not to settle, and not to pick people apart and find tiny flaws in them which i then used as excuses to not like them as much as they deserved.

The ideology of perfection is bull****, simply because perfection is boring. The human mind actually rails against perfection, we don't trust it because it's a scare thing, almost an impossibility amidst the natural order of chaos. This idea that a partner is going to be everything you need and want them to be is flawed, because you are human, you have a vague idea as to what you want and unless you can read the future you have no idea as to what you need.

Knowing if someone is "the one" is borne of hardship and going through the muck and the mire together. Thinking you love someone is easy, still thinking that when they lose their job, or you both do, or you are dealing with the unexpected twists and turns in life like an unplanned pregnancy or a long term illness...that's when you start to learn if you are really on the same page or not.

When i was little my parents used to joke about how they knew they were truly meant for each other after 10 years of marriage. I thought it strange at the time and felt it was just another example of my parents off colour humour, but now at the age of 30 I understand exactly what they meant. They loved each other but it was only after actually going through some tough times together that they knew, not from wishful thinking but from actual fact, that they could deal with the hazards of life together.

The rosey concept of happily ever after is rubbish. You work hard at relationships, you look out for each other and are strong for each other as needs be.

So yes, "the one" exists, but you need to appreciate that they can only exist within the sphere of your experience. It's not fate that gets people together, it's the intersecting of their lives. Relationships are not born from magic, it's more of a Venn Diagram scenario.

[krudler]

Once you have a few failed relationships under your belt you realise that the odds of finding a single person in the world you'll be perfect with are slim, but it does happen. I agree that perfect is boring, I want someone who I'll love because of their flaws, not in spite of them.