[hattoncracker]

Originally Posted by Kalimah

I have zero time for people who hold onto these things for decades and then decide to bring it up. The woman must be in her 40s now.

That 16 year old boy was calculating enough to threaten her if she told. That's what child molestors do.. it would've taken a long time for her to admit it even happened. more than likely, the lady in question started having children of their own and didn't want her brother to have any access to them. That she told her family, and that's how it all came out.

[Kalimah]

We'll I'll tell you where I'm coming from to those who don't like what I say. Person I know blackmailed a male relative for donkeys years over a lot less than that guy did. It wasn't for money. If he looked crooked at her she threatened to tell his wife. She played the victim off and on over the years as it suited her. Supposedly her life was "ruined" but she had a life most people would have loved. Loads of money, kids, position in society etc etc. She was no more a victim than the cat. Anyway the guy called her bluff and now she has no power over him. She wouldn't go to the guards either. All she wanted was a bit of power and attention. Of course if anyone has been seriously abused has my full sympathy.

[catthinkin]

Originally Posted by Kalimah

He probably did that too! 16 year olds then were vastly different to now. The girl should have told her mother and the boy should have been given a good slap and we all move on. That's the way it would have been done in my house!

but she didnt lived with it it destroyed her and whatever you say its not normal to sexually abuse someone at 16 , the perpertartor was disturbed to do it and i dont think a slap would of helped then nor now.

[AeoNGriM]

Originally Posted by Kalimah

We'll I'll tell you where I'm coming from to those who don't like what I say. Person I know blackmailed a male relative for donkeys years over a lot less than that guy did. It wasn't for money. If he looked crooked at her she threatened to tell his wife. She played the victim off and on over the years as it suited her. Supposedly her life was "ruined" but she had a life most people would have loved. Loads of money, kids, position in society etc etc. She was no more a victim than the cat. Anyway the guy called her bluff and now she has no power over him. She wouldn't go to the guards either. All she wanted was a bit of power and attention. Of course if anyone has been seriously abused has my full sympathy.

Go back and re-read the OP. You're looking for the part where the scumbag admitted his guilt.

[hattoncracker]

Originally Posted by Kalimah

We'll I'll tell you where I'm coming from to those who don't like what I say. Person I know blackmailed a male relative for donkeys years over a lot less than that guy did. It wasn't for money. If he looked crooked at her she threatened to tell his wife. She played the victim off and on over the years as it suited her. Supposedly her life was "ruined" but she had a life most people would have loved. Loads of money, kids, position in society etc etc. She was no more a victim than the cat. Anyway the guy called her bluff and now she has no power over him. She wouldn't go to the guards either. All she wanted was a bit of power and attention. Of course if anyone has been seriously abused has my full sympathy.

I understand, false allegations are despicable, it makes it harder again for real victims to be believed. but he admitted to it, he should be punished. What he did to her constitutes serious abuse. And I sincerely doubt that she is the only one.

[Kalimah]

My point exactly about false allegations. Absolutely everyone would say no smoke without fire.
The man in this case admitted to serious abuse. He was sentenced and that's the end of it legally. My issue is with how long it took to bring the case. If the man had pleaded not guilty it's going to be damn hard to prove his innocence because of the passage of time. It could happen to anyone.
I really can't fathom why anyone would wait so long to come forward. Case I was talking about earlier happened even earlier than the 70s!

[RachaelVO]

Originally Posted by Kalimah

My point exactly about false allegations. Absolutely everyone would say no smoke without fire.
The man in this case admitted to serious abuse. He was sentenced and that's the end of it legally. My issue is with how long it took to bring the case. If the man had pleaded not guilty it's going to be damn hard to prove his innocence because of the passage of time. It could happen to anyone.
I really can't fathom why anyone would wait so long to come forward. Case I was talking about earlier happened even earlier than the 70s!

WTF, do you have any idea of the psychological impact this has on a person. You can be walking along, thinking life is all tickety boo and it can hit you, I actually seen it happen to someone, she went a white as a ghost and started sweating and shaking... it was 20 years after the abuse, it was a buried memory until something triggered it in her head... so seriously you are talking sh1te and pure unadulterated offensive sh1te at that.

I agree that false allegations have very serious ramifications, but so does abuse!

[Chinafoot]

Originally Posted by Kalimah

I really can't fathom why anyone would wait so long to come forward.

There could be any number of reasons! My money would be on the fact that this was her brother. These things can rip families apart and often the parents either don't believe the abuse victim or don't want to believe them. Huge pressure can be put on the victim to keep quiet and not ruin the family name..."think of the shame, they'll all be talking about us after mass", etc etc.

Then of course there's the psychological and emotional aspect of it. You have no idea of the strength required to go through with not only reporting someone for abuse but also following through on an actual court case.

Your view is far, far too simplistic and the fact that you seem to be basing it all on that one case you mentioned just shows that you know nothing about the subject at all.

[Ronin247]

Originally Posted by Kalimah

My point exactly about false allegations. Absolutely everyone would say no smoke without fire.
The man in this case admitted to serious abuse. He was sentenced and that's the end of it legally. My issue is with how long it took to bring the case. If the man had pleaded not guilty it's going to be damn hard to prove his innocence because of the passage of time. It could happen to anyone.
I really can't fathom why anyone would wait so long to come forward. Case I was talking about earlier happened even earlier than the 70s!

Kalimah, you have no idea of the effects of child abuse on the victim.TBH you sound like someone who is trying to defend something in their own past.Many,many victims can never find the strength to deal with what happened to them,many commit suicide or end up on drink or drugs to try and numb the memories.You are from the school of blame the victim, and attitudes like that cause people to not want to come forward.
Just added this clip so you can see that even years later the pain never leaves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jHqndf9Kx4

[strobe]

Originally Posted by charlemont

Ever wonder why they get such useless sentences ?? Because I do and I have my own theory which would probably be deleted here but think about how all of this was covered up for years and it should become clear.

Originally Posted by Freddie59

I suspect I know where you're coming from. The same place as me.

Little help lads?

[Kalimah]

Originally Posted by Ronin247

Kalimah, you have no idea of the effects of child abuse on the victim.TBH you sound like someone who is trying to defend something in their own past.Many,many victims can never find the strength to deal with what happened to them,many commit suicide or end up on drink or drugs to try and numb the memories.You are from the school of blame the victim, and attitudes like that cause people to not want to come forward.
Just added this clip so you can see that even years later the pain never leaves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jHqndf9Kx4

Actually I'm not defending anything in my own past at all. I'm a girl. No one has ever laid a hand on me either in that way. I just understand why victims come forward so many years later. Very little chance of justice after so long. I suppose it's a lack of understanding on my part added to the false allegations I knew of that had coloured my attitude.

[Kalimah]

Originally Posted by Ronin247

Kalimah, you have no idea of the effects of child abuse on the victim.TBH you sound like someone who is trying to defend something in their own past.Many,many victims can never find the strength to deal with what happened to them,many commit suicide or end up on drink or drugs to try and numb the memories.You are from the school of blame the victim, and attitudes like that cause people to not want to come forward.
Just added this clip so you can see that even years later the pain never leaves.
BY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jHqndf9Kx4

Actually I'm not defending anything in my own past at all. I'm a girl. No one has ever laid a hand on me either in that way. I just understand why victims come forward so many years later. Very little chance of justice after so long. I suppose it's a lack of understanding on my part added to the false allegations I knew of that had coloured my attitude.

[Andy Carroll]

Originally Posted by Kalimah

He probably did that too! 16 year olds then were vastly different to now. The girl should have told her mother and the boy should have been given a good slap and we all move on. That's the way it would have been done in my house!

Your house must have been pretty fucked up.

[steddyeddy]

Originally Posted by Kalimah

I have zero time for people who hold onto these things for decades and then decide to bring it up. The woman must be in her 40s now.

Sexual abuse has long lasting effects on the victim thats common knowledge.

[ResearchWill]

Originally Posted by steddyeddy

Sexual abuse has long lasting effects on the victim thats common knowledge.

There is a view that the long lasting effect is as much caused by those trying to help children. http://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Myth-Se.../dp/046501688X