[kyedhen.female]

Originally Posted by I am a friend

How can you intend to ask someone to marry you for a year and just not get round to it?!?!? Sounds like you don't give a crap either way - that's why she dumped you - pure frustration.

Probably best if you do let her go so she will meet someone with a bit if fire in their belly and who aren't happy to wait over 6 years (and even then not get round to it) to ask someone to marry.

-The OP has not been sitting around for a year. He said he wants to ask THIS year. And so what if he didn't get round to it? It's a very nerve-wracking experience!
-Why does HE need to have fire in his belly? Are we still in the middle ages? If she wanted to get married so badly she should have said something HERSELF. Maybe she should have proposed, or at least given the chap something to go by.

Originally Posted by I am a friend

The romance is long gone out of it for her... A surprise proposal before it got to this level of frustration would have been romantic for her - now it's never going to be right as she had to ask for it to happen.

Was in a similar position with an ex and he spoiled the whole thing so much that I didn't feel the same about him even after we got engaged. I finished it 6 months later... Still think we would be happy now if he hadn't made such an ordeal of it all..,

This is another sort of mentality I don't understand. The concept of a relationship having an 'expiry date' before someone pops the question. You either love someone or you don't, want to be with them or you don't. Trying to squeeze it into a timeline is just another way that women discard perfectly good men. A healthy relationship results in marriage when BOTH partners want it to, not because one feels pressured to take the plunge. It's awful for women to expect men to conform to their whims.

Personally, OP, I'd mention your plans to your ex and see where the two of you want to go from there. But before you do anything you may want to re-evaluate why you were together to begin with - i.e. make sure she wants to marry YOU.

[Chucky the tree]

Originally Posted by Chinafoot

I'm sure focusing on assumptions made by others and then adding your own assumptions is extremely helpful to the OP.

Probably should of reported the posts that made assumptions in them instead of thanking them then.

[I am a friend]

Originally Posted by kyedhen.female

You either ..... want to be with them or you don't.

she doesnt - she dumped him.

[Ickle Magoo]

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[Leitrim lass]

Just propose.

She probably isn't interested in the whole fussy surprise hollywood proposal. It sounds like you are more into that than her, hence the reason for never getting around to it. It's as if it has to be perfect for you to propose.
Even now you are more worried that the warm fuzzy feelings of the surprise engagement may have been ruined rather than worrying about securing your future with this woman.
She loves you. She has spent 6 years with you and she wants a future with you. Shouldn't that mean more to you than feeling a bit miffed than you were 'backed into a corner'. She hasn't backed you into a corner, by the way.She has just given you a boot up the behind because she wants a future with you and you are driving her nuts. Be flattered, go with it. PROPOSE

[amtc]

You're making her sound like she's wrong.

If I were her, I wouldn't say yes. You've been together so long and talked about it, it's the next logical step. Grow a pair mate

[curlzy]

I got engaged on Friday!!!! I'm over the moon, can't stop smiling. It was a surprise, my bf brought me to my favourite spot in Glendalough and I was taking a picture of the lake and when I turned around he was on one knee holding the most beautiful diamond solitare ring ever!!! It was so romantic. He asked for my Dad's blessing on Wednesday and then went and bought the ring all by himself and then proposed, why was it so special and romantic? Because I'm f*cking mad about him and I know he feels the same about me.

So yeah OP, it doesn't need to be fire works in Paris. Get a ring, bring her somewhere she likes and ffs ask her. I really hope it's not too late!

[Dancer656]

6 years isn't that bad. The best thing you could do is talk about your relationship with your gf about the future and where do you see yourself going. Yeah it's a little frustrating when you don't know if its ever going to happen but it wouldn't be something I would just leave someone over until we talked about it.

[BunShopVoyeur]

OP, no offence but your girlfriend sounds insane. I completely agree with you that it wouldn't be special anymore even if you gave in to th bratty behaviour.
6 years isn't exactly an eternity and her reaction is way over the top.
You'll just resent her for this on the future. Better off telling madam to try the princess act on somebody else. They're not all idiots.

[DAT64]

Any update OP?
Have you met up etc??

I am going out with my BF with 6 yrs we are really happy together. Building a house at the moment. We know we are forever (committed to a house anyway). We are both in late 20's.
If i really wanted to get engaged I would have asked him this year - leap year! But everyone is different.

I hope ye have sorted it out and discussed your future & will end up happy ever after!

[Ickle Magoo]

DAT64 - asking for updates is against forum rules.

Please acquaint yourself with the forum charter HERE.

Cheers

[DAT64]

Originally Posted by Ickle Magoo

DAT64 - asking for updates is against forum rules.

Please acquaint yourself with the forum charter HERE.

Cheers

Oops sorry, I take it back.