A Mere Mention of Abortion. - Page 9 - boards.ie
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23-02-2012, 17:53   #121
hattoncracker
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Originally Posted by NoRegret View Post
I like DifferentOpinion had an abortion.
I had been to the family dr to ask about going on the pill, I was sexually active and using condoms, he told me to think about it and come back to him in a month.
During that month I got pregnant.

I have no regrets about having an abortion what so ever.

I do have regrets about having to travel.
I had to make an appointment with the well woman center and see them and then they made a referral for me to a clinic in the uk.

It tripled the cost and it was the first time I had ever been flown anywhere.
It was a Tuesday morning flight and there were too other worried looking young couples on it. The air hostesses can tell by what flights and when and can spot women traveling.
We saw the same people on the train and then in the clinic waiting rooms.

I had to see a dr and a counselor and get a scan and then go back to a B&B.
It was a horrid place but close to the clinic. I was very upset and in a strange country and far away from the comforts of home. The next day I had to go back and see another counselor and then dr who would preform my abortion. I had to spend the night in the clinic as I had a general anesthetic. The next day I was still emotional, sore, tired and groggy from the anesthetic and pain killers and I had to try and then travel all the way home.

The flight got delayed and we were stuck for another 5 hours in the airport, they still are some of the most miserable hours of my life and I won't ever travel to that airport again.
All I wanted was to be back home in my own bed.




All my immediate family know, my partner knows, most of my friends know and someday I will even tell my kids.

Some times I think I am a coward for not saying publicly that I have an abortion, that I am one of the thousands of women a year who travel and have one. Going on the numbers which BPAS release I am one of at least 100,000 Irish women who have had an abortion in a Uk clinic.

There are people who don't want us to speak up, want us to remain ashamed and to keep it taboo as it is easy to then vilify women who choose to have an abortion and to say all the hateful things they do.

I had an abortion, I don't regret it.
I regret having to travel and I resent being told I should be ashamed.


+1.

And youre very brave, and lucky to have people who will stand by you.
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23-02-2012, 18:14   #122
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Originally Posted by jill_valentine View Post
There's absolutely no medical basis for the ultrasounds in this case, and the patients don't have to look at the image. Republicans just want to punish and humiliate women for making the decision, and they aren't even pretending any different. Grotesque.
Exactly. That's exactly what they were trying to do. And Giselle is right too - it basically amounted to state-sponsored rape and, I would add, slut shaming. Oh, and for the record, the bill was introduced by a woman. It probably shouldn't, but that fact rankles me just that much more.
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23-02-2012, 18:17   #123
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There are a reasons for an ultrasound when a surgical abortion is to be preformed, but not for when the abortion pill is being used, but the bill would want all women looking to have an abortion to have an ultrasound scan.
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23-02-2012, 21:57   #124
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I didn't read through the entire thread but it seems most people are saying something like: 'I wouldn't have one my self but I support the right to choose'.

Heh, is no one on here going to admit there are circumstances in which they'd have one?

Edit: ok so there are people giving their stories, never mind.
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23-02-2012, 22:35   #125
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Originally Posted by PrincessLola View Post
I didn't read through the entire thread but it seems most people are saying something like: 'I wouldn't have one my self but I support the right to choose'.

Heh, is no one on here going to admit there are circumstances in which they'd have one?

Edit: ok so there are people giving their stories, never mind.
I would have one in any circumstances in which I found myself pregnant and didn't want to be pregnant or have a child.

Luckily enough I am now in a position where if I got pregnant by accident it wouldn't be a big deal, but there were times in the past when I had pregnancy scares and if I had been pregnant I would have had an abortion and it would have been 100% the right decision for me.
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24-02-2012, 00:30   #126
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I'm 23. If I was any younger than I am now, yeah, I'd of had an abortion. But I was always careful with contraceptives etc so never had to go down that avenue. I'm totally pro-choice and I would never ever think any different about people who had one.

I studied the ethics around neo-natal intensive care in college. Some of the facts were very hard to swallow. I know pro-lifers go on sometimes about babies being born at 24 weeks and surviving but do they honestly know what kind of a life the huge majority of these premature babies have??
Well according to the statistics, not a nice one.

Thats off topic but I just wanted to point out that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Abortion is hard and difficult enough mentally and physically without having to worry about travelling to another country to get it done. It should be legalised in Ireland and everybody should mind their own damn business about who gets it done and why.
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24-02-2012, 04:01   #127
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I don’t have much of a problem with abortion itself. I don’t agree with it but at the same time I don’t think I’d judge someone else for having one. It’s not a decision a woman takes lightly and it’s likely she has a very good reason for doing so. But what I do have a problem with is women using it as a method of contraception. It’s on the increase and it’s very disturbing to hear of such stories.

Also the 24 week cut off point needs to be revised. So many babies are being born earlier and earlier and surviving thanks to advances in medicine. I know of 2 babies born severely premature (23 and 26 weeks) that are getting stronger everyday and are most definitely going to survive. The little baby born at 23 weeks legally could have been aborted if that was his mothers wish. And that is so incredibly wrong.
I'm sorry if this is OT, but this is just wrong. The survival rates for 23 weeks is very low, and 22 weeks, I think there has been one documented case of a child surviving and not having severe health problems. +90% of babies were just not meant to survive outside of the womb at 24 weeks, and even those that do require intensive medical intervention.

To tatabubbly's point, one of my best friends is a pediatrician, and she noted that the neonatal intensive care unit was the biggest money-spinner in the children's hospital she worked at (which is one of the best in the U.S.) because a) the cost of keeping preemies alive is astronomical, and b) those kids will be back in the hospital repeatedly during their childhoods.

As for abortion, I don't think it is anyone else's business: it is between a woman, her family (if the situation permits), and her doctor. I don't judge other people for having them because I am not the one who has to live with the consequences.
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24-02-2012, 18:00   #128
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I've just read that the 'personhood' bill in Virginia, the one espousing the compulsory IV ultrasound, has fallen after the Governor, Bob McDonnell, withdrew his support.


http://www.thedailybeast.com/article...-backlash.html

“No person should be directed to undergo an invasive procedure by the state, without their consent, as a precondition to another medical procedure,” he said in a statement.
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24-02-2012, 18:07   #129
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Originally Posted by Giselle View Post
I've just read that the 'personhood' bill in Virginia, the one espousing the compulsory IV ultrasound, has fallen after the Governor, Bob McDonnell, withdrew his support.






http://www.thedailybeast.com/article...-backlash.html

“No person should be directed to undergo an invasive procedure by the state, without their consent, as a precondition to another medical procedure,” he said in a statement.

Thank goodness for that!
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24-02-2012, 20:01   #130
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Originally Posted by Giselle View Post
I've just read that the 'personhood' bill in Virginia, the one espousing the compulsory IV ultrasound, has fallen after the Governor, Bob McDonnell, withdrew his support.


http://www.thedailybeast.com/article...-backlash.html

“No person should be directed to undergo an invasive procedure by the state, without their consent, as a precondition to another medical procedure,” he said in a statement.
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Originally Posted by hattoncracker View Post
Thank goodness for that!
In that case, the governor's name was being bandied about as a potential vice-presidential candidate for Republicans. However, signing that bill would have lost them a lot of support amongst moderate Republicans and independent voters, who are the main 'swing' bloc of voters in general elections. It is hard to claim that you are a small government conservative when you mandate invasive medical procedures.

I think this about sums up the Republican approach to reproductive rights:

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24-02-2012, 20:10   #131
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Originally Posted by PrincessLola View Post
I didn't read through the entire thread but it seems most people are saying something like: 'I wouldn't have one my self but I support the right to choose'.

Heh, is no one on here going to admit there are circumstances in which they'd have one?

Edit: ok so there are people giving their stories, never mind.
I think this an important point. Until you stand in a pregnant womans shoes you have no idea of the fears or anxieties which she feels. Whilst we can all have an opinion, not one of us has the right to judge someone else. It is an incredibly difficult decision for someone to make and it us one which doesn't need to be made harder by pontificators and personal agenda holders. . I am pro choice and would consider all my options if the need arose.

Last edited by yellow hen; 24-02-2012 at 20:27.
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24-02-2012, 23:59   #132
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Can I just say, this is one of the most civilized threads I've ever read on abortion.

Its nice that we can at least have one thread where people don't argue about it.
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25-02-2012, 03:16   #133
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I also have had an abortion. I got pregnant for the first time at 21 & have a wonderful 10 year old son who I have raised alone but when he was 9 I had a failure of contraception & had an abortion. I have a great career and a loving family but I could not face bringing up another child by myself. I want a family if I am to have more kids and the father in this case did not want that. He was fine with the decision & travelled with me. It was still an awful experience & while I do not regret it it still upsets me to think of it, which I do often. Very few make this decision lightly but they are the instances that are used in the arguments. I think it is awful that myself & the 3 other women on here who have experienced this have had to comment anonymously when discussing this topic. And just to add I would tell some friends of my experience but not all & sometimes that is because I respect their views on this matter.
 
26-02-2012, 19:35   #134
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I had an abortion too. I waited til I was almost 12 weeks to make the decision so I could really really know whether it was the right thing for me or not. I used to get ill when stressed, and threw up a pill during exam time.

I got really ill, was out of work from the day I found out, I knew if I couldn't go back I would never have the money to raise a kid, I knew I wasn't emotionally ready and myself and my boyfriend had been together for less than a year. My boyfriend was 60/40 for not keeping it. I needed some time to think.

Because I was really ill (hyperemesis), I had to tell my boss what happened. He spread it around the whole of my workplace that I was pregnant. I confided in one of my cousins who I thought I could trust, and she told all my family.

I got an acceptance letter from college, and that was the day I made up my mind. I remember opening the letter, reading it, and then having to run outside and get sick for ten minutes. When I got back in I rang the clinic, I could barely speak I was so weak from the sickness. This was on a bank holiday Monday, my appointment was on Saturday. I left my own house to travel back to my mothers and stay there til it was time to leave for Dublin on Friday, I told her what I was planning, she was supportive but told me not to tell my sister. On the Wednesday I started vomiting blood. I had to go back into hospital for fluids, and because I was 11 weeks they took me for a scan on the Thursday and I was given a picture, which I still have.

On Friday I got out of the hospital and travelled back to my own house in Dublin which is near the airport. When we arrived, the clinic had arranged a free taxi from the airport. I was so shocked that at least five other women on my flight had been travelling to the same place as me. I had a consultation before my procedure, I wanted to be sedated, they had to consult with their surgeon, because I'd only just gotten out of hospital and they said there was a chance I might not be able to have the procedure because I was so ill. I got so afraid at that point, but they said it was ok.

I went downstairs to the waiting room, I sat there looking at all of the women around me. I remember thinking how nice it smelled in the clinic, not like hospitals. They called my name and I had to get undressed and put on a gown, as I was being lead into the room the lady asked me 'are you sure?'. I said yes, put my legs in the stirrups and then they gave me an injection. Everything got a bit hazy then. I woke up towards the end and it hurt a bit. When it was over I went to the recovery room, sat in a nice comfortable chair, and they gave me a heat pack for my tummy and a biscuit and some juice, painkillers and antibiotics. I sat there and rested for a half hour. Then I left, and the sickness was just gone. I had the first proper meal I'd had in ages, and didn't feel nauseous or weak.

The worst part was when I came home, I had to lie to everyone and said I lost it. The guilt over lying and people offering me condolences has been the worst thing, but I know I'd lose a lot of my family and friends over it. I never once regretted my decision, I just wish I hadn't had to travel for it, but the guilt over lying eats me up. I wish I didn't have to, I wish I could be honest with the people I love without fear of them judging me, but I'd rather that than have kept the baby just to keep them happy. Non-biased counselling is very hard to find, I have a session on Monday in my university but I haven't decided whether to tell them the truth or not because it's sponsored by the chaplaincy service in my uni, and I'm afraid they might refuse to help me..

This is the first time I've ever shared this experience honestly with anyone. I am doing it because I hope it helps someone who feels that they cannot express their experiences, or who is considering abortion.

You are not alone. <3
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26-02-2012, 22:59   #135
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my mother got pregnant with me when she was a teenager, so was my father, abortion was a very very real option for them. it was the 70's, ireland was a different place, they had no money, not married etc. my mam had family in england so she could have got one and she thought about it.
in the end she didnt, and she kept me.

anyhow, i am 100% pro-choice, if she had have gone through with the abortion i wouldnt be here, BUT that doesnt stop me from understanding that her life would have been a LOT different if she didnt have me.
i dont know if things wouldve worked out better for her, but maybe they would. i could not judge my mother at all for having an abortion and if i hadve been in her shoes i would more than likely gone through with it.

i believe that the one thing that stopped her was the huge influence of the church on her and people at the time.

i would never judge anyone for having an abortion, in fact, out of 5 close friends, 3 have had abortions, they are my friends and i am here to support them because i love them.

friends have often done things that i do not agree with, however they are my friends, real friendship does not judge.
 
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