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Poll: Can someone cheat but really love the person they cheated on?
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Can someone cheat but really love the person they cheated on?

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06-02-2012, 13:06   #31
baby and crumble
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Originally Posted by chickenbutt View Post
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Originally Posted by baby and crumble View Post
Why do you feel the need to 'stake your claim' on your boyfriend if you trust him like you say you do?
I do trust my boyfriend. I don't trust other girls to not cross the line. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't think it's an uncommon reaction to situations like that.

Also, for the record, I do trust my boyfriend to not let anything happen. I'd just rather avoid it all together. The inner workings of my relationship are not up for debate and analysis. Please do not comment on it again.
Sorry if I upset you with my comment. I just thought it was relevant to the general debate.
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06-02-2012, 13:12   #32
kingtut
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There is never an excuse for cheating. NEVER!
If you cheat on someone it shows you never cared about them in the first place.
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06-02-2012, 13:19   #33
Fluorescence
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It's rarely a black and white issue. I would say that yes, it is possible to cheat but still love your partner. However, in this case it would be a symptom of major problems in the relationship that perhaps cannot be resolved (in which case it would be better to break up than try to salvage a sinking ship). It's also (more commonly) a symptom of major disrespect for the cheater's partner and an absence of real love.

Please note I'm not condoning cheating in any shape or form, just answering the original question.
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06-02-2012, 13:23   #34
johnr1
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Cheaters - there are no words strong enough to describe my opinion of people who do this.

Myriad of reasons why people are tempted, but nobody is being held in a relationship against their will. They have the choice to break up with their OH, and then do whatever they want. They also have the choice to exercise some self control.

No forgiveness. EVER.

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06-02-2012, 13:58   #35
newport2
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I think to a large extent there are two types of people. Those who cheat and those who don't.

Most people I know who have cheated do not do so on just one person, they have done so on many people. Likewise, those who don't cheat have never done it on any partner.

If someone cheats on you, it's far more of a reflection of them that it is of you. They probably would have done it irregardless of who they were going out with and will probably do it on future partners too. Don't blame yourself for it.

I know this is quite a sweeping generalisation, so sorry if it offends anyone.
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06-02-2012, 16:27   #36
dancesatnight
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I think to a large extent there are two types of people. Those who cheat and those who don't.

Most people I know who have cheated do not do so on just one person, they have done so on many people. Likewise, those who don't cheat have never done it on any partner.

If someone cheats on you, it's far more of a reflection of them that it is of you. They probably would have done it irregardless of who they were going out with and will probably do it on future partners too. Don't blame yourself for it.

I know this is quite a sweeping generalisation, so sorry if it offends anyone.
ok i used to to be a seriel cheater cheated on every girl friend up till the last one and i can tell you from the my experience the main reasons a bloke cheaters are

1. he is unhappy with the realtionship and is hoping it gets better.
2 he isnt getting what he needs not just sex but emotional stuff alot of people think its all about the ride and thats it but really it could be an emotional connection that just kinda leads on to sex
3 he needs his ego stroked and feel less manly being with the same person


i know it doesnt make it any better but once a cheater always a cheater isnt always the way people can change and grow up and cope on. i would for give cheating one time only offer as long as it wasnt a long emotional relationship type coz that in my eyes is 10 times worse then just a ride
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06-02-2012, 17:47   #37
bluewolf
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because cheating makes relationships better
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06-02-2012, 19:08   #38
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Originally Posted by dancesatnight View Post
ok i used to to be a seriel cheater cheated on every girl friend up till the last one and i can tell you from the my experience the main reasons a bloke cheaters are

1. he is unhappy with the realtionship and is hoping it gets better.
2 he isnt getting what he needs not just sex but emotional stuff alot of people think its all about the ride and thats it but really it could be an emotional connection that just kinda leads on to sex
3 he needs his ego stroked and feel less manly being with the same person


i know it doesnt make it any better but once a cheater always a cheater isnt always the way people can change and grow up and cope on. i would for give cheating one time only offer as long as it wasnt a long emotional relationship type coz that in my eyes is 10 times worse then just a ride
What?! Yeah, how manly to lie and deceive someone you "love". That's no excuse at all. Also, hoping it gets better - cheating's hardly going to help that!
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06-02-2012, 19:32   #39
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my boyfriend cheated on me on two occasions, the first time he had sex with his ex and i broke up with him for a few months and in them few months he constantly kept in touch with me and wanted to get back together, i figure he had sex with her because i wasn't ready for sex and it had been a good while since he had it. i finally gave in and decided to give him a second chance. The second time he cheated on me was on new years eve, he kissed another girl, part of me thinks this was because i chose to go out with my friends instead of spending it with him.

i will admit i wasn't the best girlfriend i could have been, i valued my friends more than i valued him. i never really put him first even though he always put me first. He did anything for me and i guess he was deprived of some attention.

could these be the reasons he cheated?
Why would you lay fault with yourself! there comes a time when in every relationship you sacrifice the occasional knees up with your buddies for your boyfriend or the same on his part BUT it should not justify his need to go shag someone else as he got his back up because you have other interests in life other then him!

You had a Lucky escape in my opinion every relationship is give & take!!
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07-02-2012, 15:06   #40
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keeping it short and simple! Kiss can happen drunk and in the moment! But when you sleep with somebody apart from your partner..you clearly love yourself more than him/her! Cheating can be purely sexual but still anybody should rethink their relationship status afterwards
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07-02-2012, 17:29   #41
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keeping it short and simple! Kiss can happen drunk and in the moment! But when you sleep with somebody apart from your partner..you clearly love yourself more than him/her! Cheating can be purely sexual but still anybody should rethink their relationship status afterwards
No, they should think of their relationship status before. Any other course of action is scumbag lowlife animalistic behaviour.

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07-02-2012, 21:45   #42
Lola92
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I genuinely do not understand why cheating happens. If you want to sleep with/date/kiss someone else then to me that says that you are not happy in your relationship and don't want to be with that person that you are supposed to love. Have some damn respect for your partner and at least have the decency to break up with them before you go messing around with other people!
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07-02-2012, 22:04   #43
beks101
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I usually appreciate the 'grey' in most things, but with cheating I'm fairly black and white. You want to be with someone else, you break up. Otherwise you're too selfish, immature and insecure to be in an adult relationship.

I don't care what the reasons or circumstances are, if you cheat while in a committed monogamous relationship, it ultimately boils down to you not being a very nice person.

Unfortunately I think the culture is getting worse. I see cheating everywhere these days.
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07-02-2012, 22:40   #44
The Lovely Muffin
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In my personal opinion if your partner really, really loves you, they wouldn't cheat.

If your partner loved you - why would they want to cheat? Why would they want to cause you so much hurt, upset, pain and humiliation?

Any partner who loves wouldn't want to cheat on you.

I don't buy these excuses "it just happened" "I was/we were drunk" etc, you are responsible for your own actions, forget about blaming someone/something else.

If my partner cheated on me - I wouldn't take him back, no matter how much pleading/begging etc he did. If he loved in the first place he wouldn't cheat on me.

There is absolutely NO excuse for cheating.
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07-02-2012, 23:31   #45
johnr1
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I usually appreciate the 'grey' in most things, but with cheating I'm fairly black and white. You want to be with someone else, you break up. Otherwise you're too selfish, immature and insecure to be in an adult relationship.

I don't care what the reasons or circumstances are, if you cheat while in a committed monogamous relationship, it ultimately boils down to you not being a very nice person.

Unfortunately I think the culture is getting worse. I see cheating everywhere these days.
THIS ^^^^^ x 1000

Last edited by johnr1; 07-02-2012 at 23:33.
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