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Opinions on Cheating?

pinkx101 · 2012-02-04 23:44:50

What are your opinions on a cheating boyfriend? do you think its possible that your boyfriend can cheat on you purely for the sex and sexual benefits and really love you? i've had a recent experience with a cheating boyfriend and part of me believes he did it just for the sex since he wasnt getting it from me too often? i…

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#62 18-03-2012 5:14pm

Mistake

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No way. I am never going through this again, ever.

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#63 18-03-2012 5:24pm

saa

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No
Yes they can love the person but even if the person does love their partner, that partner will not be able to feel that love or enjoy the love they have/had with this issue,

so I do believe there are cases where the person is in love with their partner and there are cases where couples can work it out but I have a sneaking suspicion most of the time someone has drifted too far and has causes irreversible damage whether they love their partner or not.

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#64 18-03-2012 8:58pm

I am a friend

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yes, if it was just for the sexual benefits

Mistake wrote: »

No way. I am never going through this again, ever.

Ok well I hope you find happiness again within your marriage (dont mean that sarcastically either)....

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#65 18-03-2012 10:36pm

Mistake

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A heartfelt thank you for that. You and I both. If you and your friends get hit on by married lads, tell them it ain't worth it and that there are no winners

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#66 19-03-2012 11:26am

I am a friend

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yes, if it was just for the sexual benefits

Mistake wrote: »

If you and your friends get hit on by married lads, tell them it ain't worth it and that there are no winners

Have been there, done that (but not them ) and used my old tennis forehand to wallop them away.... I never wanted to give them the ego boost of thinking they could have two women mad about them.

Oh and another thing - let the guilt go... A friend of mine was in your shoes and the guilt ate him up for years... The best thing you can do is give yourself a kick in the ass for doing it, promise never to do it again and then let it go.. You will be a much better husband for it. good luck and have manners !!!!

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#67 19-03-2012 4:52pm

Mistake

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I would really like to be do so. It will take time and much soul searching.

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#68 19-03-2012 5:15pm

Ickle Magoo

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yes, if it was just for the sexual benefits
Okay folks, can we get back on-topic re opinions on cheating, please.

There are advice forums Personal Issues/Relationship Issues for anyone wishing advice centred around their specific situation.

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#69 20-03-2012 8:08pm

Dubhlinner

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No
Yeah you can love someone and cheat. It doesn't matter if love is about not hurting your partner, because cheaters don't intend to get caught.

If you cheat on him in his local, then yeah you probably don't love him. A snog in a foreign city on a business trip where no one will be the wiser? Different story

Human conscience is an amazing thing, seems to work in direct correlation with likelihood of being found out most of the time.

I think the stats say around 55% of people admit to cheating during serious relationships in surveys (admit being an important word there) I don't think that many people don't love their other half

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#70 30-03-2012 9:25am

ziggy23

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yes, if it was just for the sexual benefits
I think if you are completely happy in your relationship and satisfied in the bedroom you wont cheat. Anytime I've cheated has been when they have done something bad on me or I've fallen out of love with them. If I truly love someone I wont even look at anybody else.

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#71 30-03-2012 11:37pm

Kimia

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No
I've read on this thread several times at this stage about how a cheater 'loves themselves more' than their partner or 'loves themselves the most'.

I'm sorry but that's not a bad thing. You should love yourself more than anyone else. I don't have kids so I can't speak to that and I love love love my partner but I think it's essential to love yourself completely and mostly in this world.

Cheating is ultimately one of the most selfish things you can do. It comes from a place where you're focused on yourself and your own gratification. However I completely disagree that a cheater doesn't love their partner, or that they can't possibly love their partner if they do that.

People make mistakes, simple as that. Relationships go through (sometimes severe) ups and downs, especially if you're together a long time. You're not always going to feel 'in love', if you both take each other for granted and life gets in the way.

For me it would depend on the level or severity of the mistake (a drunken kiss vs a prolonged affair for example). But I just cannot accept that it's as simple as - if you cheat, you don't love your partner. Human beings are way more complex than that.

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#72 01-04-2012 6:19am

Wompa1

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yes, if it was just for the sexual benefits
I found out a previous ex had cheated on a guy she was going to marry. It was too late, I was in love. I knew I should have got the hell out of dodge. But I didn't. She cheated on. Her attitude after it made it even worse, she walked into my apartment with an evil smirk on her face.

I've gotten over her and for a few months was of the thinking that I should forgive her and was cool with the idea, to try and convince myself that she had her reasons or whatever and that I don't have to hate her..Because hate is a heavy weight to carry.

But I've since decided. F'k it, I want to hate her. She deserves it. I don't want to get to a day where I meet her and we exchange small talk. If she ever tries to talk to me again I want to be able to make her feel as **** as she made me feel.

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#73 03-04-2012 1:21pm

Fiona

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No
Speaking from experience yes I agree that it is possible to love somebody 100% but still be unfaithful. I also think that it is possible to love two people at the same time.

However, only one of those people is the right person for you. You only find that out when it is too late though.

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