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20-01-2012, 14:16   #1
Mental Mickey
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Dating & Disability

What are other disabled persons experiences(good or bad)?

Say, for example, you sign up on a dating site, do you put in your profile that you have a disability, or do you leave it blank?

A fellow disabled person reckons that, if you say in your profile that you are disabled, "prospective" partners run a mile.

He maintains the best policy is to say nothing, and let the person discover your disability when they show up for a first date

Opinions?
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21-01-2012, 21:34   #2
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I'd say maybe not to put in your disability on the site and wait and see what kind of friendship you can build with the person. Dont think you should be defined by your disability
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21-01-2012, 22:13   #3
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I'd say maybe not to put in your disability on the site and wait and see what kind of friendship you can build with the person. Dont think you should be defined by your disability
Yeah but i put it in cos I think it's a better policy to be upfront with people.
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22-01-2012, 23:07   #4
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Well I guess you should go with whatever you think is right for you. Best of luck!!
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22-01-2012, 23:41   #5
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Well I guess you should go with whatever you think is right for you. Best of luck!!
Thanks. No messages whatsoever on POF
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23-01-2012, 12:20   #6
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For what it's worth MM, I personally wouldn't.

People, an awful lot of people, have preconceived notions about disability and people with. Many of these notions would be at the negative end of the spectrum IMO.

I'd say turn up and let them see the person first. I mean even out and about in real life I'm sure you've had prejudicial attitudes and comments?

I know I have. But it doesn't take long before most people 'forget' the chair and treat me like anyone else.
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23-01-2012, 17:06   #7
Mental Mickey
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For what it's worth MM, I personally wouldn't.

People, an awful lot of people, have preconceived notions about disability and people with. Many of these notions would be at the negative end of the spectrum IMO.

I'd say turn up and let them see the person first. I mean even out and about in real life I'm sure you've had prejudicial attitudes and comments?

I know I have. But it doesn't take long before most people 'forget' the chair and treat me like anyone else.
Luckily I haven't.
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26-01-2012, 13:00   #8
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Thanks. No messages whatsoever on POF
From what I have heard, men don't tend to attract many messages on POF.

If it was me, I would have it in the profile
People can be very specific in their expectations, particular with internet dating. Where natural attraction is out of the equation at first.
Better to weed out the people who have an issue it, right off the bat.

While I know that lots of lovely people use internet dating.
It is an easy option and a free fall for all. You have a higher likely of coming across oddballs and timewasters.
I see most people using it for a long time with no success. So don't take it to heart if it doesn't work out for you.

Keep your eyes open offline. Try get out and about with clubs too etc.
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26-01-2012, 13:30   #9
Mental Mickey
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From what I have heard, men don't tend to attract many messages on POF.

If it was me, I would have it in the profile
People can be very specific in their expectations, particular with internet dating. Where natural attraction is out of the equation at first.
Better to weed out the people who have an issue it, right off the bat.

While I know that lots of lovely people use internet dating.
It is an easy option and a free fall for all. You have a higher likely of coming across oddballs and timewasters.
I see most people using it for a long time with no success. So don't take it to heart if it doesn't work out for you.

Keep your eyes open offline. Try get out and about with clubs too etc.
Thanks. I f***ing hate nightclubs with a passion. A lot of them are either inaccessible, or they(bouncers)make up excuses for not allowing us in - and I know it's because of the chair.

Last edited by Mental Mickey; 26-01-2012 at 13:41.
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26-01-2012, 13:42   #10
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I didn't mean nightclubs.

I meant social clubs for interests you have.
So that you might meet like minded people, in a relaxed environment.
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26-01-2012, 13:50   #11
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I didn't mean nightclubs.

I meant social clubs for interests you have.
So that you might meet like minded people, in a relaxed environment.
LOL thanks for that - my brain's on a go slow today
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26-01-2012, 14:40   #12
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they(bouncers)make up excuses for not allowing us in - and I know it's because of the chair.
But..But..

You said you'd not encountered prejudicial attitudes.... !

You're right though. Nigtmare in a chair. And they're **** for meeting wimminz, especially at my age.

THOUGH I have gotten lucky, back in the day.
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26-01-2012, 14:47   #13
Mental Mickey
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But..But..

You said you'd not encountered prejudicial attitudes.... !

You're right though. Nigtmare in a chair. And they're **** for meeting wimminz, especially at my age. THOUGH I have gotten lucky, back in the day.
LOL how old are ye
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26-01-2012, 16:53   #14
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Something nobody has mentioned yet is that to put a physical disability on a dating site is to run the risk of attracting what are known as "devotees"...

...and, ok lads, I KNOW boys will be boys and that might look like a good deal at first sight but do you really want to find yourself in a relationship with someone who "only wants you for your disability"?

Personally I would say do NOT put it in your profile, but if you start to feel a chemistry with someone, tell them right away...oh and DON'T wait for women to approach you...because most of them are waiting for you to approach them.
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26-01-2012, 16:59   #15
Mental Mickey
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Something nobody has mentioned yet is that to put a physical disability on a dating site is to run the risk of attracting what are known as "devotees"...

...and, ok lads, I KNOW boys will be boys and that might look like a good deal at first sight but do you really want to find yourself in a relationship with someone who "only wants you for your disability"?



Personally I would say do NOT put it in your profile, but if you start to feel a chemistry with someone, tell them right away...oh and DON'T wait for women to approach you...because most of them are waiting for you to approach them.
Ugh, are there people out there like that? I don't want someone to be with me out of pity??
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