[taxAHcruel]

OP

Drink is rarely the problem itself, but is a symptom more often than not of other problems.

Quite often that problem simply is a lack of anything better to do. During the week you have your work, your gym and more.

The weekend however is a hole. Idle hands and all that.

You very likely will therefore keep failing if you say to yourself “I will not do it again this weekend” and you have nothing else at the weekend to look forward to. You can not just switch off something that has been a part of your life and expect the void to fill itself.

Each and every time you will be driving home from work and nothing much to look forward to for the weekend, so Drink will simply rush back into the void.

Instead of concentrating on stopping therefore, try instead to approach it by filling your weekend with something else. It does not even have to be something that is totally devoid of alcohol either… just something that severely curtails it. Something you do with other people for the day, but then hit the beer after it for example.

What that something(s) is/are can be any number of things. Have a look around and get involved in some things at the weekend. With the summer coming up there will likely be a lot more outdoor pursuits too.

However I fully expect you to keep failing if you simply try and stop drinking, and then sit there twiddling your thumbs with nothing else to do to replace it.

[Ricky91t]

To me it sounds like you're a socialable person, and like to have friends around. But unfortunately the friends you have are all just weekend drinkers. So you finish work on a Friday after not chatting to your friends for the week, due to going to the gym and work and decided you want to get out and meet up with them just for a laugh. I'd say if either you had a different circle that were into hill walking or extreme sports you'd probably find yourself doing them a lot instead.

Maybe suggest to you friends to go away and do something else for a weekend, if they're up for it, then great if not maybe consider joining a club that requires weekend commitment, might be a good thing and you could save a lot of money!

[Azureus]

Originally Posted by HenryChinaski

So basically my question is do other people binge drink like this? Is it justifiable to say that it's more about having the craic, getting langers drunk, than actually feeling an addiction to drink? It's only when I get going that the demon breaks free so what's the deal re alcoholism?

This bit of the post stood out to me.
My boyfriend is/was the exact same as this. He would be the picture of health all week but come the weekend he would just go too far. It wasnt the frequency of his drinking that was the problem, it was the amount in small spaces. He just got obliterated and acted totally out of his usual character. In my opinion, and in his aswell thank god, this is alcoholism. Not knowing when to stop / not being able to stop or see the problem once you've had a few IS a problem

He has stopped drinking completely, for the time being at least, and I think he plans to slowly reintroduce it to his life i a few months if he feels the desire to. Even at that there will be an X drink limit per night. I reccomend you do the same if you dont feel it is enough of an issue to seek help with AA

[HenryChinaski]

Deutschlandfürimmer7 - Fair enough and your right, it is a bit embarrassing, and it's certainly disgusting but when I was 19 I'd have said the same thing. I only became a heavy drinker in the last couple of years.

The thing to note too is that my current situation is very enabling. I'm living in South Korea where there is a massive language barrier so doing activity style stuff is not the easiest thing in the world to arrange. There's plenty of hiking around and a few of us have discussed it but really all it ever takes is for one person to bail, or suggest a party that they know of and everyone starts dropping out.

The other thing is that the drinking culture would make Ireland seem tame. And it's a country with serious amenities to keep you busy without going to the pub but they all serve drink as you can get flaming drunk and do whatever you want pretty much everywhere you go here. Examples of places that sell drink and don't mind how hammered you get are cinemas, pool halls, digital screen golfzones, convenience stores have tables and chairs set up outside in summertime where people just drink and people watch all day. It's also far cheaper, everywhere is open 24 hours, and there is absolutely no stigma attached to getting completely stupid drunk and passing out anywhere you like. Also there's no crime here either so there's no risk attached to it either because no one is ever going to mess with you or try to rob you under any circumstances, even if you are passed out on the side of the street.

Also the foreigner population here is very strange in that people come for a year and generally leave after that so it's hard to form proper bonds when people are forever coming and going. So I find that it's like living in a town full of drifters who float in and go on the complete lash with whoever's around and leave again. Also one of the few long term expats around here has become one of the few guys I might be semi-close to, and he owns and runs the main foreigner bar in town which is literally a 90 second walk from my apartment, so it's very hard to sit in home when I know the craic is going off right around the corner.

So basically all of these things combine to make it very difficult to avoid the party. When you spend your entire week surrounded by Koreans who don't speak English, come the weekend you just want to hang with the foreigners. I think the best advice for now might be to try cut out friday nights and then try not to head out 'til the evening on Saturdays. That would probably be a start at least.

[TouchingVirus]

Some more advice would be to ease up on the amount you consume. I wouldn't particularly mind spending a weekend in a pub having the craic, but I would watch what I'm drinking - there's no need to get obliterated every time you go on the sauce. You say there's a language barrier there for you - why not spend some of your weekend trying to overcome it? Surely it will benefit you in the long run - you can get out and meet new people who aren't interested in getting mouldy and experience some more of Korea other than the ex-pat lifestyle.

[sombaht]

Originally Posted by HenryChinaski

there is a massive language barrier so doing activity style stuff is not the easiest thing in the world to arrange.

Well there's one thing you can fix. Take classes to help learn the language. It'll keep you out of bars and help break down the language barrier.

Cheers,
sombaht

[Sephiroth_dude]

You sound like my friend op,absolutely no self control when it comes to drinking,he'd easily drink 15 pints a night at the weekend,where as I couldn't manage that at all,5 would be my max on a night out.

[pragmatic1]

I know a lot of people the same way as you OP and if I had the money I'd probably be the same. Once I start I just dont know when to stop. Maybe give up for a few weeks or try and limit your consumption to just beer with a soft drink after every two pints.

[beano345]

i never realised the dangers of alcohol until i became unemployed.i found myself drinking every night of the week and doing my best to sleep off the hangover the next day.after a while i began going for a cure the next day as soon as i got up which usually led to 6-7 pints. i think its when you start realising the cycle your in that you have to break it.now i really try and limit my drinking to every second or third saturday night.try and find another outlet on the weekends ie go see a film or go camping something that doesnt involve alcohol.

[Logical Fallacy]

Originally Posted by HenryChinaski

So basically all of these things combine to make it very difficult to avoid the party. When you spend your entire week surrounded by Koreans who don't speak English, come the weekend you just want to hang with the foreigners. I think the best advice for now might be to try cut out friday nights and then try not to head out 'til the evening on Saturdays. That would probably be a start at least.

To be honest i'd suggest knocking off the booze completely for a couple of weeks. Why? It's a decent test. Alcoholism is a psychological or physiological addiction to booze. If you can go a few weeks with no booze at all, yeah you might feel a bit bored and lonely, but's it's probably better to acknowledge those issues rather than cover them with drinking anyway.

If you find yourself sitting there and twisting and turning at the thought of getting a pint in you then yeah, you probably have some bigger things to worry about.

[parker kent]

I've often gone months without drinking and not really noticed. I really could take it or leave it.

It's nice every now and again, but it's hardly a cup of tae now is it?

[giz_a_job]

Why do people here mention the AA - I dont think getting a car is going to help !!!

Sure whats the problem, he has a few bob and is single, he might aswell.

OP, go for it, party like its 1999, have a ball, fair play to you, just ake sure your work is not affected.
Tomorrow Good Friday might be a problem though, but I'm sure you have a plan already worked out.

Fcuk the begrugers, there just jealous.

The only drink problem you have is 2 hads and 1 mouth

[Daftendirekt]

Originally Posted by giz_a_job

Why do people here mention the AA - I dont think getting a car is going to help !!!

Sure whats the problem, he has a few bob and is single, he might aswell.

OP, go for it, party like its 1999, have a ball, fair play to you, just ake sure your work is not affected.
Tomorrow Good Friday might be a problem though, but I'm sure you have a plan already worked out.

Fcuk the begrugers, there just jealous.

The only drink problem you have is 2 hads and 1 mouth

No, the problem is that the OP himself has become uncomfortable with the amount he drinks. When it reaches that point, it's time to make a change for the sake of your own physical, financial and mental well-being.

I can only really echo what others are saying here, in particular taxAHcruel. It's likely that you have or are at least developing a drink problem. If willpower isn't working for you, try filling your weekends with something more wholesome.

Take classes in Korean or learn a martial art or something. Anything that forces you to say "Nope, can't go out tonight, gotta do X." I know you said the drinking culture is pretty deeply ingrained over there, but I don't believe for a second that there's nothing you can do to keep yourself off the sauce for a day or two.

Also, you might need to examine your social circle a little. I appreciate what you said about the language barrier, but if you made more of an effort to mix with the locals a bit more, it might just be challenging enough to force you to stay sober, for a while at least.

Good luck anyway, whatever happens!

[sensormatic]

party on my good friend cause life is too short.
the answer is simple a good woman will sort you out when the time is right

when you find that one good jem you must keep.
now i am going back to the bar for a top up.
best of luck to you

[Otis Driftwood]

Originally Posted by giz_a_job

Why do people here mention the AA - I dont think getting a car is going to help !!!

Sure whats the problem, he has a few bob and is single, he might aswell.

OP, go for it, party like its 1999, have a ball, fair play to you, just ake sure your work is not affected.
Tomorrow Good Friday might be a problem though, but I'm sure you have a plan already worked out.

Fcuk the begrugers, there just jealous.

The only drink problem you have is 2 hads and 1 mouth

Originally Posted by sensormatic

party on my good friend cause life is too short.
the answer is simple a good woman will sort you out when the time is right

when you find that one good jem you must keep.
now i am going back to the bar for a top up.
best of luck to you

The problem is that he feels he is drinking too much so coming here and spouting crap like "fcuk the begrudgers" and "party on" isnt helpful at all.Keep the childish,Waynes World-esque comments to yourselves please.