[Conor30]

Originally Posted by Barna77

Gaydar is like a huge Coppers, lots of prícks, freaks and weirdos

Coppers isn't even that bad! It's just usually too overpacked and full of drunks...but it's a good laugh!! I've not found it to be full of freaks at all...a few pricks maybe. Bur gaydar...my god...that's certainly full of freaks and pricks. And so many guys on there who have an inflated ego - it's hilarious!

[Conor30]

Originally Posted by edwinkane

I've found in life that one invariably finds what one expects.

I don't agree with that! People always get what they expect to get? As if.

[Paddy C]

Perhaps he didn't mean it in that way Conor...?

For example, if you go out to the pub for the evening expecting to see lots of drunks and prícks, then that's what you'll notice most wherever you go or you'll actively try to pick them out to justify your feelings to yourself. So, in other words, if you start something with a bad/negative attitude then you'll feel bad/negative doing it, so stay positive and you'll get more out of it.

(If that makes any sense whatsoever, I'm guessing it probably doesn't!)

[Barna77]

Originally Posted by Conor30

And so many guys on there who have an inflated ego - it's hilarious!

Spot on. Some guys there think of themselves as if their DNA has been designed by god so they have to chose who they might share it with. And then you see them in real life and you think you were wasting your time trying to get to know them

I won't give any name hahahaaaa

[Conor30]

Originally Posted by Paddy C

Perhaps he didn't mean it in that way Conor...?

For example, if you go out to the pub for the evening expecting to see lots of drunks and prícks, then that's what you'll notice most wherever you go or you'll actively try to pick them out to justify your feelings to yourself. So, in other words, if you start something with a bad/negative attitude then you'll feel bad/negative doing it, so stay positive and you'll get more out of it.

(If that makes any sense whatsoever, I'm guessing it probably doesn't!)

That makes sense and I agree with that but that's just your interpretation of what he meant! I agree it's best to be positive about things. Hope for the best and expect the worst!

[Conor30]

Originally Posted by Barna77

Spot on. Some guys there think of themselves as if their DNA has been designed by god so they have to chose who they might share it with. And then you see them in real life and you think you were wasting your time trying to get to know them

I won't give any name hahahaaaa

I agree completely!

And then the random mails out of the blue with 'wanna shag mate?' and no picture and you know they wouldn't even be man enough to see it through anyway!

[Barna77]

Originally Posted by Conor30

I agree completely!

Great minds think alike

[ongarboy]

well then why don't you all go out into the real world and meet real people? There are too many people getting sucked into the virtual world of online cruising/dating. People use the anonymity and security of the internet to say all sorts of false things about themselves so that when/if you eventually hook up with them, they don't come close to how they described themselves.

Whereas meeting people face to face, you will instinctively sense a chemistry (or not) which is a natural way of hooking up. Also, you have more of a choice if you are out spotting. I used to go out lots by myself and sure, I met a few jerks, other times I met no-one and then other times again, I scored big time...it's just the way it goes. The internet was still in it's infancy when I started heading out so I didn't have it to rely on. But from reading posts here, I'm kind of glad I didn't.

Go out there and if the first time is a waste, go again and again - be persistent. There are loads of guys/girls that still go out and are looking for someone. The key is not to be looking for a relationship with someone in the first day/week/month you meet them...let that evolve naturally it is meant to happen.

[Conor30]

Originally Posted by ongarboy

well then why don't you all go out into the real world and meet real people? There are too many people getting sucked into the virtual world of online cruising/dating. People use the anonymity and security of the internet to say all sorts of false things about themselves so that when/if you eventually hook up with them, they don't come close to how they described themselves.

Whereas meeting people face to face, you will instinctively sense a chemistry (or not) which is a natural way of hooking up. Also, you have more of a choice if you are out spotting. I used to go out lots by myself and sure, I met a few jerks, other times I met no-one and then other times again, I scored big time...it's just the way it goes. The internet was still in it's infancy when I started heading out so I didn't have it to rely on. But from reading posts here, I'm kind of glad I didn't.

Go out there and if the first time is a waste, go again and again - be persistent. There are loads of guys/girls that still go out and are looking for someone. The key is not to be looking for a relationship with someone in the first day/week/month you meet them...let that evolve naturally it is meant to happen.

I never go out on my own but I've heard it's the best way of you want to score! Sometimes in a group you're less approachable.
I don't really rely on the virtual world myself.

Are you happily hitched these days Ongarboy?

[ongarboy]

Originally Posted by Conor30

I never go out on my own but I've heard it's the best way of you want to score! Sometimes in a group you're less approachable.
I don't really rely on the virtual world myself.

Are you happily hitched these days Ongarboy?

over 6 years and counting!! And I did meet my OH when I was on my own (not particularly looking that night either). It's true what you say though, when in company, it seems harder to hook up as everyone assumes you are spoken for. I have a really close single friend and we always meet up but he finds it hard to meet guys. We joke that everyone thinks we are a couple. I try to encourage him to fly solo and go out by himself sometimes but that's not his thing.

[Conor30]

Originally Posted by ongarboy

over 6 years and counting!! And I did meet my OH when I was on my own (not particularly looking that night either). It's true what you say though, when in company, it seems harder to hook up as everyone assumes you are spoken for. I have a really close single friend and we always meet up but he finds it hard to meet guys. We joke that everyone thinks we are a couple. I try to encourage him to fly solo and go out by himself sometimes but that's not his thing.

That happens me all the time too, especially if I'm out on the scene on a particular night with just one mate! We're wrongly presumed to be a couple!

What places do you go drinking with your close single friend?

I might start going out by myself a bit!

I am sick to death of whingers in gaydar reporting me for expressing myself and gaydar taking their side...... Gaydar need to grow up and give you the right of reply.

It is unfair to ban people just on the say-so of others when they don't know the full picture

[PharmBoyUCD]

Hey Guys

Just wondering, is there a forum dedicated to where gay guys can be friends? I have a boyfriend so i'm not interested in the gaydar/grinder set up.

I had a quick search off google (only a quick search cause i'm in work atm ) but i couldn't find anything.

Any good forums out there?

[BettyM]

Originally Posted by ongarboy

There are too many people getting sucked into the virtual world of online cruising/dating. People use the anonymity and security of the internet to say all sorts of false things about themselves so that when/if you eventually hook up with them, they don't come close to how they described themselves.

Whereas meeting people face to face, you will instinctively sense a chemistry (or not) which is a natural way of hooking up.

Perhaps you misunderstand the purpose of sites like Gaydar, although I am curious how you know there are too many getting sucked in, and what is the right number to get sucked in before its too many?

Gaydar is a means to and end and not, as many seem to use it, and end in itself. If one uses it wisely, its just another way to meet other guys.

It's quite possible to use gaydar unwisely too, and anyone who has used the chat rooms can see the same guys apparently sitting there for hours and hours pasting the same line, (usually a plea for sex of some description or another), and everyone else apparently ignoring them. They appear to learn nothing, as many of them have been there literally for years, in what must have become for them another layer of Dante's Hell. Only they dont seem to realise it.

Oscar Wilde said a cigarette was the perfect pleasure because it left one unsatisfied. Gaydar is attractive to many for the same reasons, as it promises to many sexual pleasures beyond their wildest dreams and, like playing the lottery, when one doesn't win one is sure that next time one will. Like so many internet sites, to many it over promises and under delivers.

I often find that if I need a good laugh, I log into gaydar chat and, very soon, it has me laughing out loud at the absurdities and frauds it throws up, and also at the suspension of belief so many seem to adopt when in the chat rooms.

It's quite possible also to find friends, partners and sex buddies there if you use it wisely. I know as I have found all three categories there, and even found my partner there.

[brokenice]

is there lezdar?