Love triangle? - Page 2 - boards.ie
Boards.ie uses cookies. By continuing to browse this site you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Click here to find out more x
Thread Closed  
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
26-08-2010, 14:04   #16
dfx-
Moderator
 
dfx-'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Solvency
Posts: 9,762
Mod: Soccer
Quote:
Originally Posted by Giselle View Post
I'd say it certainly is.

But I don't think its possible to love them equally, or for the love to be of exactly the same quality for both simultaneously.

I'm sure I'd have a favourite.
I'd have thought this to be the case 999,999 out of 1,000,000.

I think it's easy to convince yourself that you could temporarily...but is it sustainable..there'll always be a favourite at a particular time and the favourite could change several times over.
dfx- is online now  
Advertisement
26-08-2010, 18:17   #17
angelxx
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: limerick
Posts: 275
I knpw people who have claimed to love two people at the same time, Time has proven that one was always favoured, While one of them was falling out of love with a partner she was falling in love with someone else. I think this is possible, however to feel the same depth of love for two people at the same time seems impossible to me. Real love requires complete trust and honesty, you need to be connected on an emotional level that you are not with anyone else.
angelxx is offline  
12-10-2011, 15:47   #18
Liberal Irishman
Closed Account
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by lil_missy View Post
Is it possible to love 2 men at the same time?
I would say definitely yes. Why wouldn’t it be?


Whether it is possible for two men to accept it unconditionally, well that sure is another matter!!!
Liberal Irishman is offline  
12-10-2011, 20:37   #19
juicyfruit
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Theoretically, yes. In practice, extremely rarely.

IMHO too many people took Heinlein way too seriously. It only ever seems to even halfway work on a long-term basis is when the practice is dictated and reinforced by a religion as well as the society's customs.

To add some anecdotal experience, I've known a few polyamorous threesomes and couples. Of those, only one threesome lasted for more than a year. The only one that lasted more than a few years was a man and woman who only invited women into the relationship for fun and games on occasion. In every instance, once favorites were established (and they invariably were), the third wheel eventually tired of the situation and left. Understandably so.
 
13-10-2011, 00:55   #20
Logical Fallacy
Registered User
 
Logical Fallacy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Praying for rain...praying for tidal waves.
Posts: 5,869
Personally, i don't think so. Love is a strong and complex emotion...I think it's easy to think that you might "love" more than one person when you are younger...a simple crush can feel like a very big thing at that point.

I'm sure there are grown, mature people who feel like they experience love for more than two possible partners but I reckon if you questioned them you would quickly establish that one is more loved than the other.

Obviously people experience different kinds of love, there is the love of parents, the love of siblings, children, friends etc...so we experience various types and extremes of love all the time. It may just be the old romantic in me, or perhaps the fact that for me love is an all or nothing thing but i reckon there will always be a first and second place when it comes to the human heart.
Logical Fallacy is offline  
Thanks from:
Advertisement
14-10-2011, 11:33   #21
pickarooney
Moderator
 
pickarooney's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: France
Posts: 23,495
I don't see why not. It's possible (very easy, even) to completely, unconditionally love two children to the same degree. Romantic love is much more selfish in general but I believe you can truly love two or more people (as opposed to loving what they do for you on different levels, which is invariably how we 'measure' romantic love) simultaneously.
pickarooney is online now  
Thanks from:
14-10-2011, 12:55   #22
Das Kitty
(✿◠‿◠)
 
Das Kitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Gaillimh
Posts: 10,853
I'd say you can, but I do think you'd always prefer one over the other at any given time. I have two best friends and I love them equally, but on any given day I might be more attached to one over the other. I'm pretty certain that people feel like that about their kids too (I only have one so far). Love is fluid, always waxing and waning.

Most people shut down the search for love once they have one person, I don't think that's reflective of their capacity to love others though.

Personally, dealing with the challenges of a two person relationship, I would not be hugely keen to add another individual to the mix. It's hard enough to marry two personalities together harmoniously nevermind three.

There could be a benefit with regard to the housework though!
Das Kitty is offline  
14-10-2011, 12:58   #23
Morag
Registered User
 
Morag's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Neverwinter
Posts: 7,867
For some people it is, I suggest looking up poly armoury.
Morag is offline  
Thanks from:
14-10-2011, 13:36   #24
Parsley
Closed Account
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 3,338
possible? yes. practical? probably not, for most people.
Parsley is offline  
Advertisement
14-10-2011, 13:59   #25
LeeHoffmann
Closed Account
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,684
Is it possible? I'm reluctant to rule anything out as impossible per se.

I think a lot depends on the definition of love here. As others have pointed out, there's a difference between love and infatuation though it can be hard to tell that difference when you're infatuated. Also, for me, love isn't just a feeling you have. To me, loving somebody, implies (maybe even necessitates) action. In other words, loving somebody requires acting in their best interests; doing whatever you can to make their life better. It's probably possible to (feelings-wise) love two people romantically but I don't think it's possible to (action-wise) love two people romantically.

I've expressed myself really badly there but I hope you get my point.
LeeHoffmann is offline  
14-10-2011, 14:05   #26
eyescreamcone
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,424
Quote:
Originally Posted by Giselle View Post
I'd say it certainly is.

But I don't think its possible to love them equally, or for the love to be of exactly the same quality for both simultaneously.

I'm sure I'd have a favourite.
What if they were identical twins???
eyescreamcone is online now  
17-10-2011, 15:41   #27
Wibbs
Moderator
 
Wibbs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Nothing in life has any business being perfect
Posts: 30,397
Yep eyescreamcone terrifically funny. If you've nothing constructive to add to the discussion, please feel free to take your one liners somewhere else.
Wibbs is offline  
17-10-2011, 23:25   #28
OkayWhatever
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Dublin
Posts: 526
I don't think it is possible to be honest.

I think that if you properly love somebody you'd love to spend every single minute of the day with them.If so,then I don't really understand how you could love 2 people at the one time because you can't spend all your time with either one of them.

I also think that if you're in love then you're happy and content with the way things are, so much so that you wouldn't really want to love somebody else? Or have the chance to love somebody else while you're so busy thinking about the person you love?

I can't really get my point across properly, makes soooo much more sense in my head
OkayWhatever is offline  
18-10-2011, 09:24   #29
LeeHoffmann
Closed Account
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,684
Quote:
I think that if you properly love somebody you'd love to spend every single minute of the day with them.If so,then I don't really understand how you could love 2 people at the one time because you can't spend all your time with either one of them.

I also think that if you're in love then you're happy and content with the way things are, so much so that you wouldn't really want to love somebody else? Or have the chance to love somebody else while you're so busy thinking about the person you love?
This sounds like the first stage of love to me - the infatuated, rose-tinted glasses, high on hormones stage. That doesn't last forever. It gives way to something better imo but not every couple in the following stages wants to spend every minute together or is incapable of letting their eyes wander
LeeHoffmann is offline  
Thanks from:
18-10-2011, 09:32   #30
Das Kitty
(✿◠‿◠)
 
Das Kitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Gaillimh
Posts: 10,853
Quote:
Originally Posted by OkayWhatever View Post
I think that if you properly love somebody you'd love to spend every single minute of the day with them.If so,then I don't really understand how you could love 2 people at the one time because you can't spend all your time with either one of them.
I love my husband so much that sometimes I think my heart might burst. But I don't want to spend all my time with him by any stretch of the imagination.

Quote:
I also think that if you're in love then you're happy and content with the way things are, so much so that you wouldn't really want to love somebody else?
People who are in love have children, that's adding extra people to love (as much if not more than your partner) into their lives.
Das Kitty is offline  
Thread Closed

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search