Competition Win tickets for Dara O' Briain, David O' Doherty, Maeve Higgins and more in Vicar St - Page 4 - uses cookies. By continuing to browse this site you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Click here to find out more x
Post Reply  
Thread Tools Search this Thread
22-06-2010, 20:24   #46
Registered User
Chuchoter's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,343
Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this ?
Pupil: This is my father speaking !

What did the monster say to his psychiatrist?
'I feel abominable.'
Chuchoter is offline  
22-06-2010, 20:27   #47
Closed Account
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 3,702
Who's there?
Hatch who?
God Bless You!!!

Pj! is offline  
22-06-2010, 20:28   #48
Miguel_Sanchez's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Dublin
Posts: 6,958
Mod: Music
This one used to crack me up as a kid.

Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in?
Customer: No.
Barber: Oh dear, I must have cut your throat.
Miguel_Sanchez is offline  
22-06-2010, 20:40   #49
Registered User
RedXIV's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Dublin
Posts: 6,260
Send a message via MSN to RedXIV
What's white and wears sunglasses?

Spoiler: An egg in disguise

What do you call two apples?

Spoiler: A Pear!

Why did the jelly baby go to school?

Spoiler: He wanted to be a smartie!

Whats black and white and black and white and black and white....?

Spoiler: A penguin rolling down a hill

Whats black and white and laughing?

Spoiler: The nun that pushed it!
RedXIV is online now  
22-06-2010, 20:47   #50
Registered User
Bonkers_xOx's Avatar
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Under your bed
Posts: 614
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!

Bonkers_xOx is offline  
22-06-2010, 20:49   #51
Registered User
aisling.laura's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 185
A young boy puts up his hand in class one day and says,
"Sir, I has no pencil."

The teacher replies,
"No no no:
'I have no pencil,
You have no pencil,
He has no pencil,
She has no pencil,
You all have no pencils,
We have no pencils,
They have no pencils."

The little boy thinks for a moment and then raises his hand again,
"But Sir, then who has all the pencils??"
aisling.laura is offline  
22-06-2010, 20:55   #52
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 36
-who are the nicest people working in a hospital?

-the ultra-sound people!!
oldwan is offline  
22-06-2010, 21:02   #53
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,018
Whats green, shiny and dangerous?
An apple with a gun!
jimi_t2 is offline  
22-06-2010, 21:08   #54
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 36
- who are the coolest people in the hospital when the ultra-sound guys are off??

- the hip-replacement people
oldwan is offline  
22-06-2010, 21:19   #55
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Ashbourne
Posts: 270
How did the farmer fix his jeans?

With a cabbage patch!
Scoobydooo is offline  
22-06-2010, 22:20   #56
Registered User
Onecoolcookie's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 690
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus ?

A porky-pine !
Onecoolcookie is offline  
22-06-2010, 22:32   #57
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: North East
Posts: 1,853
This isn't exactly a joke, but moreso an actual incident that happened last week with Junior Infants when we were learning about electricity:

Me [trying to elicit prior information]: Where do we get electricity from?
Kid [very seriously & innocently shouted]: JESUS!

Other than that, I've been told many jokes. One which I can remember..............
Teacher, what kind of hair does the sea have? WAVY!!!!!
stripysocks85 is offline  
22-06-2010, 22:35   #58
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: North East
Posts: 1,853
Oh oh oh, I can't believe I almost forgot my ULTIMATE FAVOURITE JOKE!! [If anyone I know reads this, they will know who I am!!!]

Q: What did 1 snowman say to the other?
A: Do you smell carrots?

stripysocks85 is offline  
22-06-2010, 22:41   #59
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 8
I was on the T.V once, my mam told me to get off!
XpenguinX is offline  
22-06-2010, 22:53   #60
Registered User
Dutchy's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 223
Who made up fractions?

Henry the 1/8th!

Last edited by Darragh; 23-06-2010 at 10:39. Reason: spacing etc
Dutchy is offline  
Post Reply

Quick Reply
Remove Text Formatting

Insert Image
Wrap [QUOTE] tags around selected text
Decrease Size
Increase Size
Please sign up or log in to join the discussion

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Share Tweet