[bob50]

Originally Posted by phi3

Actually kinda starting to feel sad tonight. Thinking about the future and if i'm going to have one.

Originally Posted by phi3

Sometimes it just hits you. If you ever let yourself think too much you'll feel sad. Right?

Yeah i know the feeling when you think too much sadness just hits you im on anti d meds to try to help these sad toughts and they help some times

[Konata]

I've been diagnosed with severe depression and after months of counselling I've decided to start taking anti-depressants. Just started last week so fingers crossed for some improvement in the coming weeks. I was anorexic a few years ago, recovered and have since developed bulimia. Bulimia and depression have taken over my entire life and I often feel like I've lost everything in the last year. I frequently self-harmed in the past but I rarely do it anymore. However the scars are still there, you don't realise they'll last for years when you're doing it, and people are always staring/asking me about them.

Basically I'm on the road to recovery but it's damn hard!

[RedNiamhy]

If find if I have too much time to think it's bad. Pondering that "What ifs". "meaning of life", "why are we here?"s just isn't good. I can do it for a short time but then I get pulled in to the vicious circle. It can be scary.

I also have days where I feel like a good cry, for no particular reason at all most of the time. And when I am tired is when I feel like this the most.

[seanybiker]

good to see ye all being supportive. i likes this thread.

[phi3]

Originally Posted by RedNiamhy

If find if I have too much time to think it's bad. Pondering that "What ifs". "meaning of life", "why are we here?"s just isn't good. I can do it for a short time but then I get pulled in to the vicious circle. It can be scary.

I also have days where I feel like a good cry, for no particular reason at all most of the time. And when I am tired is when I feel like this the most.

Sounds just like me. It's strange hearing others feel exactly as i do. Sometimes it feels like i'm the only person that feels that way. But there's lots of us.

[sam34]

Originally Posted by Shazanne

I did not mean to offend or undermine you in any way and your information is very valuable. However, I personally feel that this threat should be simply for friendship and support. I realise I may have prompted some of your replies by question I asked about Seroxat, so I am just as responsible for going off on a tangent. I was really interested in what you had to say and would love to engage more with you on your expertise, but perhaps on another thread? And thank you for the time you spent with your replies - you are very clearly a caring person.

i'm not remotely offended or undermined
i ususally stay out of threads liek these, except to moderate them, but when i see misinformation i feel it is my duty to correct it, thats all.

[zimovain]

A mental health forum would be great!!

[OSI]

Originally Posted by Hotaru

I've been diagnosed with severe depression and after months of counselling I've decided to start taking anti-depressants. Just started last week so fingers crossed for some improvement in the coming weeks. I was anorexic a few years ago, recovered and have since developed bulimia. Bulimia and depression have taken over my entire life and I often feel like I've lost everything in the last year. I frequently self-harmed in the past but I rarely do it anymore. However the scars are still there, you don't realise they'll last for years when you're doing it, and people are always staring/asking me about them.

Basically I'm on the road to recovery but it's damn hard!

Good to see another UCDian on here..

I know what you mean about the road to recovery being hard.. When I first started I felt great relief and a certain excitement about finally doing something about it but it quickly disappeared so I'm hoping things pick up again soon.

Having a bed day today. Woke up this morning and just couldn't get out of bed. Having so many of them lately it's annoying me more and causing me to think about it more. The more you think you about it the worse it becomes. Stupid circles!

[Konata]

Originally Posted by betafrog

Good to see another UCDian on here..

I know what you mean about the road to recovery being hard.. When I first started I felt great relief and a certain excitement about finally doing something about it but it quickly disappeared so I'm hoping things pick up again soon.

Having a bed day today. Woke up this morning and just couldn't get out of bed. Having so many of them lately it's annoying me more and causing me to think about it more. The more you think you about it the worse it becomes. Stupid circles!

This might aswell have been written by me I go to counselling every week and come out of each session with great motivation, but it's always gone again after a day or 2. It's extremely frustrating.

I've had more bed days than college days this semester. On one hand I can barely muster up the energy to care about how far I've fallen behind, and at other times I nearly have panic attacks thinking about it. I'm disappointed and annoyed with myself that I can't manage to get up and end up feeling worse.

[zimovain]

Ok day here, bit tired from meds but OK!!

[alias141282]

Originally Posted by Hotaru

I've been diagnosed with severe depression and after months of counselling I've decided to start taking anti-depressants. Just started last week so fingers crossed for some improvement in the coming weeks. I was anorexic a few years ago, recovered and have since developed bulimia. Bulimia and depression have taken over my entire life and I often feel like I've lost everything in the last year. I frequently self-harmed in the past but I rarely do it anymore. However the scars are still there, you don't realise they'll last for years when you're doing it, and people are always staring/asking me about them.

Basically I'm on the road to recovery but it's damn hard!

All I can say is fair play to you for staying going through all that. You're a real hero.

[alias141282]

Originally Posted by RedNiamhy

If find if I have too much time to think it's bad. Pondering that "What ifs". "meaning of life", "why are we here?"s just isn't good. I can do it for a short time but then I get pulled in to the vicious circle. It can be scary.

I also have days where I feel like a good cry, for no particular reason at all most of the time. And when I am tired is when I feel like this the most.

Its amazing how similar people feel and think when they're depressed. The 'what if' thoughts follow me everywhere. Its like I live with permanent regret, as if my life is already all over and I've ruined everything. It makes no rational sense and yet I can't stop it.

[taram]

Originally Posted by betafrog

I know what you mean about the road to recovery being hard.. When I first started I felt great relief and a certain excitement about finally doing something about it but it quickly disappeared so I'm hoping things pick up again soon.

Having a bed day today. Woke up this morning and just couldn't get out of bed. Having so many of them lately it's annoying me more and causing me to think about it more. The more you think you about it the worse it becomes. Stupid circles!

Same here. Last week I was full of energy, new leaf etc and this week I have spent most of it in bed, going over every decision and action I have taken in the last week and how 99% of it is probably my fault and that lying in bed is just making it worse, but if I go out of the house I'll just do stupid things or say something stupid and will feel worse.

Can't seem to breathe this week without feeling like I've done it wrong

[golucky]

When I was in my 3rd year of college in Dec 06, it was rag week and I was out with friends.

I saw a friend I hadnt seen in a few months, and he completely ignored me.
It must have been the drink, because i broke down and started crying all night. Everyone seen my cry my eyes out in the pub. Id been holding in a lot of pent up emotion for a long time, i was bullied all my life growing up.

In january 07, after putting it off for ages, i went to a doctors and was diagnosed with depression. I was out on anti-depressants for 6 months.

they made me feel better for a while.

I finished college that year and got a job, which i worked in for a summer. There was a girl who worked there who i completely fell in love with, but she had a boyfriend and had no idea i liked her, she wouldnt have been interested in me anyway. Even a year after having left that job, i would still get upset thinking about her, it took me a long time to get over her.

Then i worked in another job until may 08, i absolutely hated it and wanted to quit every day, i was delighted when I was let go. unemployed ever since.

I took my savings and got my own place, spent a year living there doing pretty much nothing except drinking, eating pizza and being a loner, feeling lonely all the time and like a complete loser.

I moved back in with my parents 6 months ago. They havent barely talked to me in months, they say i dont act like im a part of the family but i dont feel like i am an equal part of the family, i spent my life been told to do by them and obeying every word of theirs, and now look at the state im in. I feel depressed and down almost all the time and i want a change.

Im thinking of going to australia on a working holiday visa and getting work over there, i want a break from ireland.

I have so many bad memories of growing up that its hard for me to live at home, thinking about the people in school who bullied me and my parents treating me like a dog, being in constant control of me.

I feel all alone all the time, does anyone else get like this? Just like im absolutely alone, even when im with people i dont feel fulfilled. I feel suicidal every day, and i imagine how i would do it, but i know i never would because despite all the hard stuff i still want to live, and i dont want to devestate my family, even if i am angry with them.

Ive never been the same since the night i broke down in that pub during rag week...

Thanks for listening.

[Shazanne]

I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I read some of the posts on this. Laugh because I know I'm not the only one feeling this way, or cry because others are too. I have felt the very same as most of these people for years - full of energy and motivation and praying I stay that way, and then all of a sudden hitting rock bottom for no reason. I just never know how I'm going to be from day to day or from week to week and that makes me worry about how I'll handle things that are coming up in my life - even ordinary things like work. It just goes on and on.