[immaterial7]

Hi,

I, a muslim, am considering marriage to a bahai (religious view is they have come AFTER islam with a new religion). I have been told by all islamic scholars and imams that this marriage is not permitted by islam. and this would be a grave sin. And that i am endangering my afterlife (ie going to hell) if i were to marry this person.

What concerns me more, though is the potential difficulties of having children with this lady in the future in an interfaith marriage where both parents are somewhat practising. Rasing them exclusively as muslim would not be fair on her (since her faith means alot to her and she would be mother of the kids) even though i believe it to be a true path. thats not to say that i think she is going to hell and we have had some conversations around upbringing of kids.

I guess i am looking for any input from people in a mixed faith background and whether these marriages do work - there are sooo many difficulties and our relationship is perfect (as perfect can be- we have know each other for many years) aside from when i consider opening up my children to being raised in 2 faiths. I of course would bring them up muslim, but my partner would also want to instill in them bahai practice - thus my questions really are as follows:
1- what is the islamic view on rearing children in an inter faith marriage where the partner is a post-islamic religion???
2- are there people out there that have inter faith marriages? and how if rasing children in both have you managed it??
3- are u not concerned that ure acutally influencing by agreeing to let ure child grow up practising 2 faiths that they may acutally reject ure faith and choose another / no faith? how do u PRACTICALLY raise a child in both? is it even possible???

any input will be much appreciated.

thanks all

[Bottle_of_Smoke]

I have been told by all islamic scholars and imams that this marriage is not permitted by islam. and this would be a grave sin. And that i am endangering my afterlife (ie going to hell) if i were to marry this person.

I'm guessing these guys are gonna be right tbh. As far as I know you can only marry "people of the book" - Christians/Jews, and obviously other Muslims. Female Muslims can only marry other Muslims

[irishconvert]

Originally Posted by immaterial7

Hi,

I, a muslim, am considering marriage to a bahai (religious view is they have come AFTER islam with a new religion). I have been told by all islamic scholars and imams that this marriage is not permitted by islam. and this would be a grave sin. And that i am endangering my afterlife (ie going to hell) if i were to marry this person.

What concerns me more, though is the potential difficulties of having children with this lady in the future in an interfaith marriage where both parents are somewhat practising. Rasing them exclusively as muslim would not be fair on her (since her faith means alot to her and she would be mother of the kids) even though i believe it to be a true path. thats not to say that i think she is going to hell and we have had some conversations around upbringing of kids.

I guess i am looking for any input from people in a mixed faith background and whether these marriages do work - there are sooo many difficulties and our relationship is perfect (as perfect can be- we have know each other for many years) aside from when i consider opening up my children to being raised in 2 faiths. I of course would bring them up muslim, but my partner would also want to instill in them bahai practice - thus my questions really are as follows:
1- what is the islamic view on rearing children in an inter faith marriage where the partner is a post-islamic religion???

I think the Imams and Scholars you have questioned have already answered this, as you said above.

Originally Posted by immaterial7

2- are there people out there that have inter faith marriages? and how if rasing children in both have you managed it??

I'm sure it would involve comprmise on both sides. Are you willing to comprmise on aspects of Islam. Can you give us an idea of what kind of things you would be expected to compromise on? Are these compromises going to cause conflict between your wife and you?

Originally Posted by immaterial7

3- are u not concerned that ure acutally influencing by agreeing to let ure child grow up practising 2 faiths that they may acutally reject ure faith and choose another / no faith? how do u PRACTICALLY raise a child in both? is it even possible???

I think it will be confusing for the child. I am not familiar with the bahai faith, but if they have teachings which conflict with Islamic teaching then you are asking for trouble.

[Mark Hamill]

Originally Posted by immaterial7

Hi,

I, a muslim, am considering marriage to a bahai (religious view is they have come AFTER islam with a new religion). I have been told by all islamic scholars and imams that this marriage is not permitted by islam. and this would be a grave sin. And that i am endangering my afterlife (ie going to hell) if i were to marry this person.

What concerns me more, though is the potential difficulties of having children with this lady in the future in an interfaith marriage where both parents are somewhat practising. Rasing them exclusively as muslim would not be fair on her (since her faith means alot to her and she would be mother of the kids) even though i believe it to be a true path. thats not to say that i think she is going to hell and we have had some conversations around upbringing of kids.

I guess i am looking for any input from people in a mixed faith background and whether these marriages do work - there are sooo many difficulties and our relationship is perfect (as perfect can be- we have know each other for many years) aside from when i consider opening up my children to being raised in 2 faiths. I of course would bring them up muslim, but my partner would also want to instill in them bahai practice - thus my questions really are as follows:
1- what is the islamic view on rearing children in an inter faith marriage where the partner is a post-islamic religion???
2- are there people out there that have inter faith marriages? and how if rasing children in both have you managed it??
3- are u not concerned that ure acutally influencing by agreeing to let ure child grow up practising 2 faiths that they may acutally reject ure faith and choose another / no faith? how do u PRACTICALLY raise a child in both? is it even possible???

any input will be much appreciated.

thanks all

You know, you could break the mold, so to speak, and just bring up your children to think for themselves and choose their own religion. The way I see it, is that you obviously dont think there is anything in your partners faith that makes her a bad person, hence you love them (and vice-versa) so it should be no problem to the both of you to bring up your children as good people, all the while allowing them to make their own decisions on what religion to become. If you think about it, they would be better muslims (or bahai, or whatever they end up as) if they freely choose it rather than being indoctrinated into it from birth.

[oceanclub]

Originally Posted by Mark Hamill

You know, you could break the mold, so to speak, and just bring up your children to think for themselves and choose their own religion. The way I see it, is that you obviously dont think there is anything in your partners faith that makes her a bad person, hence you love them (and vice-versa) so it should be no problem to the both of you to bring up your children as good people, all the while allowing them to make their own decisions on what religion to become. If you think about it, they would be better muslims (or bahai, or whatever they end up as) if they freely choose it rather than being indoctrinated into it from birth.

*thinks*

BURN THE HERETIC!

P.

[philologos]

Originally Posted by Mark Hamill

You know, you could break the mold, so to speak, and just bring up your children to think for themselves and choose their own religion. The way I see it, is that you obviously dont think there is anything in your partners faith that makes her a bad person, hence you love them (and vice-versa) so it should be no problem to the both of you to bring up your children as good people, all the while allowing them to make their own decisions on what religion to become. If you think about it, they would be better muslims (or bahai, or whatever they end up as) if they freely choose it rather than being indoctrinated into it from birth.

Mark, do you think it's really appropriate to bring your agenda into a thread about a serious Islamic concern?

I mean I don't personally think the OP will go to hell for marrying this woman, but differing value systems can make it difficult to raise children even if we are leaving aside the issue of Islamic scholars, and Islamic theology.

[Zaynzma]

Originally Posted by oceanclub

*thinks*

BURN THE HERETIC!

P.

I think you're getting your religions mixed up - Christianity is the only religion with a history of burning heretics.

[The Recliner]

Originally Posted by oceanclub

*thinks*

BURN THE HERETIC!

P.

Originally Posted by Zaynzma

I think you're getting your religions mixed up - Christianity is the only religion with a history of burning heretics.

Can we keep this on topic please

Post like this are unhelpful and not what was asked for in the OP

Any further posts like this will be met with bannings

[doctoremma]

Originally Posted by Jakkass

Mark, do you think it's really appropriate to bring your agenda into a thread about a serious Islamic concern?

I mean I don't personally think the OP will go to hell for marrying this woman, but differing value systems can make it difficult to raise children even if we are leaving aside the issue of Islamic scholars, and Islamic theology.

Sorry to jump in but: If there is a serious clash of value systems, maybe it's fairest to teach both or neither. However, I seriously doubt that the values of the OP clash radically with those of his wife in terms of being generous, polite, respectful etc. That's as much as any of us would hope to instil in a child?

[philologos]

I'm merely saying I can understand why in Islam it would be forbidden or advised to marry someone of similar values, if nor the same values. The OP is asking a question as to how he as a Muslim should deal with his situation.

In your atheist viewpoint, there is little consequence if someone chooses belief A over belief B, but from an Islamic viewpoint there is. There is also the believe that an Islamic path is best for the child.

While not Muslim, if I put the Muslim hat on for a second I can see where the Islamic scholars are coming from.

[Zaynzma]

Originally Posted by Jakkass

I mean I don't personally think the OP will go to hell for marrying this woman

Islamic scholars would never say that someone will 'go to hell' for marrying someone whom God has forbidden them to marry.

The OP says he was told marrying this woman would 'endanger his afterlife'. Of course in Islam he would be committing a sin by marrying her, as he is disobeying God. However it doesn't automatically follow that he would go to hell. God is the forgiver of sins, He forgives wherever He wills and it's not for us to say "God won't forgive him for that and will send him to hell for it".

It may be that living intimately with someone whose beliefs are contradictory to Islam will weaken this man's faith and he will fall away from the straight path entirely, or become a disbeliever (authu billah). In this way his marriage could lead to him going to hell which is probably why the scholars say you are 'endangering your afterlife' by committing sin rather than say 'you will go to hell'.

I'm sorry I'm a bit pedantic but Jakkass made it sound like a Muslim automatically goes to hell for marrying a person forbidden in marriage and that is not necessarily the case.

[philologos]

Zaynzma: Read the OP -

have been told by all islamic scholars and imams that this marriage is not permitted by islam. and this would be a grave sin. And that i am endangering my afterlife (ie going to hell) if i were to marry this person.

Were the scholars who told him this wrong?

Originally Posted by Zaynzma

It may be that living intimately with someone whose beliefs are contradictory to Islam will weaken this man's faith and he will fall away from the straight path entirely, or become a disbeliever (authu billah). In this way his marriage could lead to him going to hell which is probably why the scholars say you are 'endangering your afterlife' by committing sin rather than say 'you will go to hell'.

I can understand this from my own Christian view. The Israelites were forbidden to marry people who were foreign to their group of people after the time of Moses unless they were willing to conform to Jewish standards. In some cases marriages outside of the Jewish faith or the form of it that they had at the time were discouraged entirely due to the risk of mixing the faith that God had revealed them with pagan practices.

Although if we are going to accept the People of the Book claim, why is it better for a Muslim to marry a Christian than for a Muslim to marry a Bahai?

Christians are encouraged to tell their spouses about their faith:

Originally Posted by 1 Corinthians 7:16

For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

I am just curious on this issue.

[Zaynzma]

Originally Posted by Jakkass

Zaynzma: Read the OP -


Were the scholars who told him this wrong?

Yes if it was them who said "ie going to hell" and not the OP's own comment. No person scholar or otherwise can say to another "you are going to hell for this". Judgement belongs to God.

We are told that there is one sin that God won't forgive (without repentance) and that is 'shirk' which is (my paraphrase but you can look it up for fuller explanation if you like) worshipping other than God alone. Every other sin can be forgiven, with or without repentance.

[philologos]

Originally Posted by Zaynzma

Yes if it was them who said "ie going to hell" and not the OP's own comment. No person scholar or otherwise can say to another "you are going to hell for this". Judgement belongs to God.

We are told that there is one sin that God won't forgive (without repentance) and that is 'shirk' which is (my paraphrase but you can look it up for fuller explanation if you like) worshipping other than God alone. Every other sin can be forgiven, with or without repentance.

How can anyone know if they are saved or not according to an Islamic viewpoint? Can they know or are we all unsure about where we are going?

[irishconvert]

Originally Posted by Mark Hamill

You know, you could break the mold, so to speak, and just bring up your children to think for themselves and choose their own religion. The way I see it, is that you obviously dont think there is anything in your partners faith that makes her a bad person, hence you love them (and vice-versa) so it should be no problem to the both of you to bring up your children as good people, all the while allowing them to make their own decisions on what religion to become. If you think about it, they would be better muslims (or bahai, or whatever they end up as) if they freely choose it rather than being indoctrinated into it from birth.

Hi Mark,

This forum is intended for Muslims to discuss their faith. Your post is unhelpful and does not address any of the concerns raised by the OP. Can you please refrain from posting again on this issue?

Thanks.