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Old 22-10-2009, 11:35   #1
dyl10
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Death's Door...
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Lonely October

When cold air descends
And days are cut short
There's nowt around
That'd lift a mood

Each black, bare morning
A frosty monotony, stark as nude
A hope of snow, to dress bare trees
An Ambitious dream

A slumbering sound, like a whistle
Tones the mind, thoughts to the beat
A collage of liquids, Present mists
A painting in progress, later's gift

Distraction is born, familiarity returned
Gaunt, jaw dropping attraction
Splendered, free of the storm
A raging fire, among frozen wood

Follies away, a private pondering
An encounter untapped, a warming dance
Rippled waves, suspended in air
A flow of virgin golden, innocent as sin

Like a sun drenched waterfall, Flowing about diamonds
Navigating meanders, of clustered snakes
A naked softness, untouchable now
As I’m ripped from the warmth, of my secret snug

Stolen time, an early departure
Always too early, no matter how late
The cold sleet begins to drag itself again
Again in dead, rotten clumps,
Raging elements to be braved

Like a record skips, dampening an explosion
Funded by distance, longing's its powder
A slender, rounded Mecca evaporated
Slipping through my clutching grasp, it’s gone

Gone again, to start anew
I, left to face the shrill bore of winter once more


I'm working on this piece at the moment, alone.
It's difficult to gauge its readability for an outsider(naturally, because I understand it).
I'd very much appreciate if someone could give it a quick read and let me know.
This is one of the first times I've written something without a planned structure so it feels very rough.
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