Ladies toilets.

[Pighead]

Pighead was looking at his "Ten things to do before you die" list last night and at number 7 right under "Find the secret to everlasting life" was "Go for a wee wee in a ladies toilet" Have always wondered what their toilets were like and how they differed to mens.

Mens' toilets tend to be stinky and dirty with the walls made of piss yellow stone and decorated with a broken hand dryer. And unless the pub you are in is a pub of gayness nearly all forms of interaction are unwelcome. Head down, zero eye contact, do your business, wash hands and get the hell back to your beer.


Is it the same in the ladies? Is talking to each other whilst sitting on the toilet frowned upon? Are the walls painted pink? Is there a constant sweet smell of jasmine and lavender wafting fragrantly around the toilets? Does the fact that women do their wee wees whilst sitting eliminate the whole "Hover" scenario as the seats are unlikely to be covered in urine splashes?

[AnonoBoy]

They're filled with couches and coffee tables laden with magazines. There's also the faint smell of disinfectant and despair in the air.

Or is that doctor's waiting rooms?

I always get those two confused.

[Fink Goddie]

Yes ladies toilets are lovely coz girls dont poo!

[Sleipnir]

I often use the ladies if I'm in the office on a weekend or something.
Not because they're any better or cleaner, it's purely for the guilty pleasure when I see the ladies go in their on the following Monday.

[dr.bollocko]

Ladies toilets, public or in a bar are ranker than mens most of the time. They're like wild animals in there.

[Fink Goddie]

Originally Posted by dr.bollocko

Ladies toilets, public or in a bar are ranker than mens most of the time. They're like wild animals in there.

And how do you know?

[dr.bollocko]

Originally Posted by Fink Goddie

And how do you know?

I'm a girl.

[Ikky Poo2]

Because he's used the ladies before. Obvious, really.

Do the ladies' loos have big african blokes immaculately dressed and handing out aftershave for 2€ a spray?

[funk-you]

Originally Posted by Fink Goddie

And how do you know?

I thought everyone knew that the good Dr. has a detachable penis

-Funk

[bluto63]

Originally Posted by dr.bollocko

I'm a girl.

That doesn't explain how you know what the men's are like. Or have you been a filthy little girl?

[Pighead]

Originally Posted by Sleipnir

I often use the ladies if I'm in the office on a weekend or something.
Not because they're any better or cleaner, it's purely for the guilty pleasure when I see the ladies go in their on the following Monday.

That's another thing. Pighead is obviously a prude as almost everybody he knows claims to have visited toilets meant for the opposite sex tonnes of times.

Larry the liar constantly looks down at Pighead and says snide things like " Ha ha you're such a noob Pighead, if you haven't been to a ladies toilet you haven't lived. I was in one just last evening and lets just say I didn't go in to relieve my bowels if you know what I mean"

Basically he was implying he was making love in the toilets with a lady but that's most likely a lie as he's a dweeb and a liar and it's far more likely he went in to smell the lavender hand cloths before running out giggling like a little schoolgirl.

[emo!!]

Ladies toilets if anything are worse than mens

I use the mens toilets sometimes in the centre i work in, purely for the fact that its nearly always a 100 times cleaner than the ladies..

Sorry to burst your bubble pighead!

[Fink Goddie]

Originally Posted by dr.bollocko

I'm a girl.

Just at the weekends or all the time?
That Explains a lot really

Originally Posted by Pighead

That's another thing. Pighead is obviously a prude as almost everybody he knows claims to have visited toilets meant for the opposite sex tonnes of times.

Larry the liar constantly looks down at Pighead and says snide things like " Ha ha you're such a noob Pighead, if you haven't been to a ladies toilet you haven't lived. I was in one just last evening and lets just say I didn't go in to relieve my bowels if you know what I mean"

Basically he was implying he was making love in the toilets with a lady but that's most likely a lie as he's a dweeb and a liar and it's far more likely he went in to smell the lavender hand cloths before running out giggling like a little schoolgirl.

Why do you always speak in the turd person pighead

[Pighead]

Originally Posted by emo!!

Sorry to burst your bubble pighead!

No problem emo. This isn't the first time Pighead's had his bubble burst and it probably won't be the last either.

Can barely remember the first time the old bubble was burst actually but it was probably back in 77 when a newly born Pighead was put into his mothers arms by the nurse only to be told "I don't want him nurse, he's too pretty. Take him away". Rejected at birth by the woman who bore him. It put a real dampner on the whole being born into the world thing.

Anyway back on topic, womens toilets is an anagram of moistens towel which is probably significant in some way or other.

[Long Onion]

Ah, the age old toilet question.

During my wild days of youth, I worked in many bars and found that some things are indeed constant. Mens toilets seem dirtier at fisrt glance, this is almost all down to the smell though. The fact is that male toilets are not very user friendly at all - part of me thinks that they were designed by spiteful women as a wonderful maens of perpetuating the myth that men are smelly beasts.

Firstly we have a big open urinal which by its very nature must smell of p1ss constantly, you p1ss on a wall and it splashes on the floor, you then walk the p1ss all over the rest of the toilet and out into the bar.

Secondly, men generally speaking, do not have the same insane hygiene demands as women so they will actually use the toilet bowl as a place to lay brown eggs, this adds to the smell.

Womens toilets tend not to be as smelly as they do not have a urinal and prefer to hold the poop in for a whole night. They are, however often dirtier than mens toilets, toilet paper is strewn everywhere, covered in concealer, mascara and eyeshadow, there are often used sanitary products discarded on the floor or floating in the toilet as the bin was full or too complicated to use.

There is also a pervading air of bitchiness which hangs in the air long after the bar has emptied, if you are very quiet, you can still hear the catty comments about the larger lady with the "muffin top"

In my experience, women are actually dirtier in public bathrooms than men, the latter get the thin end of the wedge due to the design flaws.

A friends of mine swears that those toilet roll holders that are always stiff - meaning that you have to put your hand up inside and tease out the paper with delicate and dexterous finger movements - were designed by irate women as a method of teaching men the basics of foreplay.