Godiva's Hymn (Battle Hymn of the Engineer)

[SeaSlacker]

(Sung to the Battle Hymn of the Republic)

There's so many verses from all over the world on this song, but it's something every Engineer should at least be aware of, if not sing themselves!
Do feel free to add verses you know if you like! And mods, please don't send this to the civilians at AH or anywhere else...

We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the Engineers,
We can, we can, we can, we can demolish 40 beers.
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, and come along with us,
For we don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn about us.
(Woman's edition: We don't give a damn for any old man who can't get it up for us!)

Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride.
To show to all the villagers her lovely lilly white hide.
The most observant villager, an Engineer of course,
Was the only one that noticed that Godiva road a horse.

Chorus:
We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the Engineers,
We can, we can, we can, we can demolish 40 beers.
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, and come along with us,
For we don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn about us.

"I've come a long, long way" she said, "and I will go as far,
With the man who takes me off this horse, and leads me to a bar."
The men who took her of her stead, and stood her to a beer,
Were a bleary-eyed Surveyor and a drunken Engineer.

Chorus

Godiva was a lady well-endowed there was no doubt.
She never wore a stitch of clothes, just wound her hair about.
The first man who ever made her was the Engineer of course,
But on just one rum, some Artsie bum then made Godiva's horse.

Chorus

Godiva woke next morning and she had an awful head,
To save herself from moving, she spent the day in bed.
The only ones to visit her, and bring her lots of beer,
Were the broken-down surveyor, and the blood-shot engineer.

Chorus

Godiva died, and where she lies, a bench-mark shows the spot,
In any engineering text, its level can be got.
Godiva's now in Heaven, where she daily prays for beer,
But she'll have to wait till Heaven gets a Resident Engineer.

Chorus

My father was miner from the Northern Malamute,
My mother was mistress in a house of ill-repute,
They kicked me out at a tender age for drinking all their beer,
Saying "get off your ass, now get to class, become an engineer!"

Chorus

An Artsman and an Engineer once found a gallon can.
Said the Artsman, "Match me drink for drink and prove that you're a man."
They drank three drinks, the Artsman died, his face was turning green.
But the Engineer drank on and said, "It's only gasoline"!

Chorus

(whispered)
A maiden and an Engineer were sitting in a park,
The Engineer was busy doing some research after dark,
His scientific method was a marvel to observe,
While his right hand wrote the figures, his left hand traced the curves.

Chorus
The Army and the Navy boys set out to have some fun,
Down at the local tavern where the firely liquids run,
But all they found were empties, for the Engineers had come,
And traded in their instruments for gallon kegs of rum.

Chorus
Now Venus is statue made entirely of stone,
There's not a fig leaf on her, she's as naked as a bone;
On noticing her arms were broke, an Engineer discoursed,
Of the course the damn thing's broke, it should be reinforced.

Chorus
Sir Francis Drake and all his ships set sail for Galway Bay,
To meet the Spanish Rum Fleet that was heading up that way,
But the Engineers had beat them by a night and half a day,
And though they drank like hooligans, you still could hear them say.....

Chorus

I happened once upon a maid whose eyes were full of fire,
her physical endowments would have made your hands perspire,
She shocked us when she told that she never had been kissed,
For her boyfriend was a tired Engineering Physicist.

Chorus

A student couple went and tried Kama-Sutra number 9,
For proving masculinity, it truly was divine.
But then one day the girl rebelled and threw him on his rear,
For he was a feable Artsie and she an Engineer.

Chorus

Now Ceasar went to Egypt at the age of fifty-three,
But Cleopatra's blood was warm, her heart was young and free,
And every night when Julius said goodnight at three o'clock,
There was a Roman Engineer just waiting 'round the block.

Chorus

As legend goes an apple fell on poor Sir Isaac's head,
And Newtonian Mechanics then was born, took hold and spread.
Too bad he was a physicist and not an Engineer,
If he wore a hard-hat, we'd have less class, just chugs and chugs of beer!

Chorus

An Engineering student came to school so drunk late,
Carryin' a load that you'd expect to ship by freight,
The only things that held him up and kept him on his course,
Were a boundary condition and the electromotive force.

Chorus

My mother peddles opium, my father's on the dole,
My sister used to walk the streets, but now she's on parole,
My brother runs a restaurant with bedrooms in the rear,
But none of them will talk to me 'cause I'm an Engineer.

Chorus

Rapunzel let her hair down for two suitors down below,
So one of them could grab a hold and give the old heave-ho.
The prince began to climb at once, but soon he came out worst,
For the Engineer rode up a lift, and reached Rapunzel first.

Chorus

By now you've heard our story and you know we're Engineers,
Unlike the stupid Artsies, we will end up careers.
An engineer from DIT(insert your uni) earns roughly 60 G's,
And artsie with a Ph.D. will work at Mickey D's.

Chorus

Now you've heard our story and you know we're Engineers,
And like all jolly fellows we drink our whiskeys clear.
"Cause we're a HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-A
HELLUVAN ENGINEER!

Chorus

(Additional verses)

We drink and drink and drink and drink and we are Engineers.
We drink and drink and we'll kick your ass if you try to steal our beer.
We drink and drink and drink and drink and throw up on the floor.
Then we brush our teeth and drink and drink and drink and drink some more!!!

An Artsie and an Engineer were stranded on a boat,
One person too heavy though, the poor boat wouldn't float.
The Engineer would flip a coin to settle the dispute,
So she flipped it in the water and the Artsie gave pursuit.

Elvis was a legend; he's the King of Rock 'n Roll,
But the life he was leading - well, it finally took its toll.
He realized too late, he'd choose the wrong career,
So he faked his death and came to Queen's - now he's an Engineer!

A man sat in a tavern with a lovely Cambridge lass
And stared when for the nineteenth time she raised and drained her glass
He said "You've out drunk four strong men, and half the bar, my dear."
But the maiden smiled demurely and said "I'm an engineer."

At Vassar, Smith, and Wellesley there are countless untruths told
About how women engineers are frigid, strange, and cold.
But truth be told men look for lady engineers of course
And sleep with women who study friction, motion, stress, and force.

A Trinity engineer once stood before the Gates of Hell
Looked the Devil in the eye and said, "You're Looking Well"
Bealzebub returned the glare and said , " I am indeed,
You've been through Hell already since you went to Trinity."

We saved our dough for years to send the kid to UCD
Although we knew it was a place of wild depravity,
But now we know our kid is safe and we should have no fear
He's never even heard of sex cause he's an Engineer.

At finals time some undergrads went to the Thirsty Ear
each approached the bar in turn and ordered forty beers
The drinking washed away the test, the answers surely wrong
as the engineers regained their strength they sang their fav'rite song




(sung slowly and solemnly)
The modern engineer must be politically correct,
No more motors lubricating, no more buildings rise erect,
No more electrical capacitors whose plates are high and fair
Instead of problem solving let's just sit around and care.


(Military Verses)

We plan and build your barriers and build your bunkers too.
In each and every war we prove what Engineers can do.
For in the thick of every fight, the cry has been for years,
"Come clear the pass and save our ass, you Combat Engineers!"


We build and blow your bridges and we fix your roads up too.
There ain't too many things in life an Engineer can't do.
You never seem to need us till your hearts are filled with fear.
Then the first thing you call up are the Combat Engineers.