Why do we focus on what annoys/upsets tarnishes us?

Affable · 04-07-2009, 10:56

Maybe it's because of context and how it compares to the good in life, and the good stuff seems greater compared to it?
Would the good stuff become meaningless without what we abhor?
Why do we some of us consciously, some subconsciously, seek out what annoys us and what we find boring/crass/onoxious/upsetting etc more than we should or is good for us?

alanjfinn · 07-07-2009, 01:05

It certainly is not good for you,why do you think that some people seek out what is bad for them?
There is a school of thought that says you cannot appreciate the good without having experienced the bad,
is that what you are referring to?

**Thaedydal** · 07-07-2009, 01:09

Cos feeling pissed off or replused and repelled is better then feeling nothing.
IF this is the case then you need to go get professional help cos what the point of a life with no joy.

alanjfinn · 07-07-2009, 18:34

I do not mean to be pedantic,but it is not possible to feel nothing
(if only),so feling bad is not an alternative to feeling good or "something"
to be feeling,negative thinkers can be taught how to think positively,as
in the simple example of glass half full/half empty,negative says
empty and positive says full,just a different way to think of something.
It takes practice, practice, practice and then more practice.

JuliusCaesar · 09-07-2009, 06:50

Evolution.

alanjfinn · 09-07-2009, 17:17

There is a difference twixt upset and annoyance......and fear,
The flight or fight response is thought to be an aid to survival
but upset and annoyance are not.

JuliusCaesar · 09-07-2009, 19:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Affable

Maybe it's because of context and how it compares to the good in life, and the good stuff seems greater compared to it?
Would the good stuff become meaningless without what we abhor?
Why do we some of us consciously, some subconsciously, seek out what annoys us and what we find boring/crass/onoxious/upsetting etc more than we should or is good for us?

It really depends what you are talking about in your last question.

Why do we drink alcohol even when we know we will have the mother of all hangovers the next day? Pleasure/reward now.

Why do we notice every little irritating instance of bad driving? Confirmation bias, selective attention, or any other relevant cognitive bias.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Affable

Would the good stuff become meaningless without what we abhor?

Probably.

alanjfinn · 09-07-2009, 22:10

Identity/lack of/unsure of and insecurity,..........you cant really tel people they have a confirmation bias etc.,not if you want to guide/treat them,
thats all for the text books and academia,i find it doesnt really work in reality.(the reality i move about in).

JuliusCaesar · 10-07-2009, 07:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by alanjfinn

you cant really tel people they have a confirmation bias etc.,not if you want to guide/treat them,
thats all for the text books and academia,

and it works in clinical practice.

alanjfinn · 10-07-2009, 17:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliusCaesar

and it works in clinical practice.

Maith an fear

04-07-2009, 10:56	#1
Affable Registered User Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 1,186 Adverts \| Friends	Why do we focus on what annoys/upsets tarnishes us? Maybe it's because of context and how it compares to the good in life, and the good stuff seems greater compared to it? Would the good stuff become meaningless without what we abhor? Why do we some of us consciously, some subconsciously, seek out what annoys us and what we find boring/crass/onoxious/upsetting etc more than we should or is good for us?

07-07-2009, 01:05	#2
alanjfinn Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Blanchardstown Posts: 33 Adverts \| Friends	It certainly is not good for you,why do you think that some people seek out what is bad for them? There is a school of thought that says you cannot appreciate the good without having experienced the bad, is that what you are referring to? Last edited by alanjfinn; 07-07-2009 at 01:07. Reason: left some text out

07-07-2009, 01:09	#3
Thaedydal Moderator Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: behind you, in the dark, smiling... Posts: 33,264 Adverts \| Friends Mod: PI Mods, RC, Beer Guts & Receding Hairlines, Dark & Deviant, Paganism, Parenting, Personal Issues, Sex & Sexuality	Cos feeling pissed off or replused and repelled is better then feeling nothing. IF this is the case then you need to go get professional help cos what the point of a life with no joy. __________________ Awaiting inspiration.

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07-07-2009, 18:34	#4
alanjfinn Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Blanchardstown Posts: 33 Adverts \| Friends	I do not mean to be pedantic,but it is not possible to feel nothing (if only),so feling bad is not an alternative to feeling good or "something" to be feeling,negative thinkers can be taught how to think positively,as in the simple example of glass half full/half empty,negative says empty and positive says full,just a different way to think of something. It takes practice, practice, practice and then more practice.

09-07-2009, 06:50	#5
JuliusCaesar Registered User Join Date: May 2006 Location: At a desk Posts: 981 Adverts \| Friends	Evolution.

09-07-2009, 17:17	#6
alanjfinn Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Blanchardstown Posts: 33 Adverts \| Friends	There is a difference twixt upset and annoyance......and fear, The flight or fight response is thought to be an aid to survival but upset and annoyance are not.

09-07-2009, 22:10	#8
alanjfinn Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Blanchardstown Posts: 33 Adverts \| Friends	Identity/lack of/unsure of and insecurity,..........you cant really tel people they have a confirmation bias etc.,not if you want to guide/treat them, thats all for the text books and academia,i find it doesnt really work in reality.(the reality i move about in).