Psychology of sexual attraction

Trog · 02-05-2009, 11:12

Hi Guys, I'm a newbie in this forum so I hope this is appropriate. I'm keen on psychology, but have never studied it. It fascinates me to hear about psychological traits influencing behaviour, and I like to look at people around me and wonder why they are the way they are. So here's my situation:

I'm a 21 year old man, and I've noticed that when I'm attracted to women, I tend to build them up in my mind, and see them as perfect, or at least I don't see their imperfections.
Once I 'get' them, be it kiss them, sleep with them or enter into a serious relationship, these flaws start to become glaringly obvious, and, in fact, become the main thing I focus on.

Now, I'm not looking for help with this, I'm happy enough with how my life is, and I'm very able to accept flaws in a person. In fact it's usually the flaws that I fall in love with. I'm just curious as to what this is- is there a name for it? Also, what causes it? My untrained opinion is that I have some kind of inner confidence problem, and before I get someone they're too good, when I get them they're not good enough.

Oh, and I'm not talking exclusively about physical flaws, I mean anything, but a lot of the time it is the physical ones I notice.

Kevster · 04-05-2009, 01:13

You overanalyse the situation. Most people don't look for flaws in their partners - they just see them as regular people that they enjoy being with. i'm nolt saying that you intentionally look for flaws but - due to the fact that you overanalyse - the truth is easier to find for you (the truth being that nobody is perfect). This notion of perfection is what - I believe - is partly to blame for the rise in eating disorders. Girls see pictures in magzines of the 'ideal' figure and these images have been airbushed to the extreme. in reality, nobody is like that.

Kevin

BertrandMeyer · 04-05-2009, 01:23

You might wanna rethink that post a little. I dunno. Men pay good money to watch women wrestle in mud. "You'd never do that back home." That's what Chamberlain was reported to have said after his returning from talks with Hitler.

Love the Futurama reference, btw...

02-05-2009, 11:12	#1
Trog Registered User Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 36 Adverts \| Friends	Psychology of sexual attraction Hi Guys, I'm a newbie in this forum so I hope this is appropriate. I'm keen on psychology, but have never studied it. It fascinates me to hear about psychological traits influencing behaviour, and I like to look at people around me and wonder why they are the way they are. So here's my situation: I'm a 21 year old man, and I've noticed that when I'm attracted to women, I tend to build them up in my mind, and see them as perfect, or at least I don't see their imperfections. Once I 'get' them, be it kiss them, sleep with them or enter into a serious relationship, these flaws start to become glaringly obvious, and, in fact, become the main thing I focus on. Now, I'm not looking for help with this, I'm happy enough with how my life is, and I'm very able to accept flaws in a person. In fact it's usually the flaws that I fall in love with. I'm just curious as to what this is- is there a name for it? Also, what causes it? My untrained opinion is that I have some kind of inner confidence problem, and before I get someone they're too good, when I get them they're not good enough. Oh, and I'm not talking exclusively about physical flaws, I mean anything, but a lot of the time it is the physical ones I notice.

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04-05-2009, 01:13	#2
Kevster Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Leicester, UK Posts: 2,487 Adverts \| Friends	You overanalyse the situation. Most people don't look for flaws in their partners - they just see them as regular people that they enjoy being with. i'm nolt saying that you intentionally look for flaws but - due to the fact that you overanalyse - the truth is easier to find for you (the truth being that nobody is perfect). This notion of perfection is what - I believe - is partly to blame for the rise in eating disorders. Girls see pictures in magzines of the 'ideal' figure and these images have been airbushed to the extreme. in reality, nobody is like that. Kevin

04-05-2009, 01:23	#3
BertrandMeyer Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 116 Adverts \| Friends	You might wanna rethink that post a little. I dunno. Men pay good money to watch women wrestle in mud. "You'd never do that back home." That's what Chamberlain was reported to have said after his returning from talks with Hitler. Love the Futurama reference, btw...