[humberklog]

Originally Posted by donkeypop

It's just a matter of opinion though.

A well laboured opinion (and one I don't hold) at this stage.

Any opinion on the tune?

On a P.S Donkey I don't read links or quote boxes as the one you've posted so am unable to comment on it. Just another me thing.

[donkeypop]

Originally Posted by humberklog

A well laboured opinion (and one I don't hold) at this stage.

Any opinion on the tune?

The tune:

You've got a wonderful tone to your voice. The only problem is that for quite a few bits you don't hold the melody very well, and are almost speaking the words, like you're reciting a poem (which, with your tone, I actually like), so it's hard to judge the tune precisely. The guitar is lovely and from what I could hear of the tune and the structure I thought it had potential. I liked the bit at 1.09

Originally Posted by humberklog

On a P.S Donkey I don't read links or quote boxes as the one you've posted so am unable to comment on it. Just another me thing.

Em, that's kinda strange. The quote in the box demonstrated that you were wrong about Paul Simon, and that his opinion correlated with mine: that he did take on board many influences literary and otherwise for writing his songs, and that his work for "Graceland" was based on the work of poet he liked. I just posted the source out of courtesy. You didn't have to read it as all the information was in the quote.

[humberklog]

Ok I've read it now. Odd thing is is that I remember the gist of that interview from when it first came out. I don't see how that makes you right and me wrong. I remember another interview where he was also saying much to the effect that he uses words for their phonetic quality of drawing an image rather than within their literal sense. I fling socks and boots in for the same reason.

I'm very surprised at comment about my voice. I write imagening someone else singing and hearing other instruments being played. I'm only playing about 3years and I'm no spring chick so I'm clumsy at best in fingering on the guitar. But as for singing it took a long time to stop cringing whenever I heard it. Now I just flinch a little.
You're right on the recording of that song. I haven't got around to properly nailing it with confidence. The recording was made 40 minutes after the first iota on it. I had to throw it out there though as there's another song that has been bugging my grey matter and I need to have an empty desk for to accommodate the work on it. (Oddly it's another on Joyce's Ulysses and these are tricky balancing affairs). But it's not coming so I'm going to go back and work on the clarity and conviction on the 2 songs on this thread. Joyce (and Paul Simon) will have to wait.

[donkeypop]

humberklog,

It's a cliché, but your voice sounds "lived in". It's kinda of like Mick Flannery, or Nick Cave with an older tone. The problems are tuning and enunciation, both of which can be fixed, but you can't really teach tone, IMO. Your guitar is perfectly fine, but if I had that tone I would spend a little on singing lessons. A friend of mine did singing lessons for a year and her tuning, control, enunciation, breathing improved hugely (however, her tone (which was already lovely) didn't really change).

Anyway, it's been good chatting and good luck with finishing off the song.

[humberklog]

This bit of a song popped out of no-where today and I had to put it somewhere or I'd forget it. Words are coming so it's only music. I need to make a better link in around 1min47sec. The song lasts about 2min20sec and has the working title: Jesus Moved Ahead in Light Years. (It's not a christian/religious song)