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12-10-2011, 16:52   #2911
iguana
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Oh Neyite, I'm so sorry to hear your news too.
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12-10-2011, 17:16   #2912
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Custard Cream so sorry to hear that & Neyite so sad , take care of yourselfs.
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12-10-2011, 17:17   #2913
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That sucks Neyite. I am so sorry for your loss.
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12-10-2011, 17:54   #2914
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Custard cream, Neyite, so so so sorry for your losses x
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12-10-2011, 17:56   #2915
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Neyite that's so terrible. Definitely right to take time off, you and your partner just need to look after each other right now & take the time you need.

I'm glad your other little bean is moving around nicely!
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12-10-2011, 18:32   #2916
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Oh god Neyite so sorry to hear your news too. Life can be so unfair. Take care of yourself and your partner.
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12-10-2011, 18:46   #2917
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Neyite, my thoughts are with you and your partner. Take care. xx
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12-10-2011, 19:23   #2918
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Custard Cream & Neyite; I am so sorry for your loss. I have said a prayer for you.
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12-10-2011, 19:31   #2919
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Custard Cream I`m so so sorry for your loss, I didn`t have a D+C but I had my m/c on Aug 6th and got my period on sept 12th (5 weeks2days later)
Also I ovulated on aug 28th (21days after m/c) so "tried" again even though the Dr said to wait 1 cycle...
Neyite, That such good news and bad news altogether, try to enjoy the good and take some time for the little one too. After 29 cycles to be at this point I know you are tough enough but you are allowed to grieve, I`ll say a prayer for you and your family x x
Sh1t day for myself today, got period with really bad pain, so with a bit of motivational temper I went out for a 10mile run along Galway Bay and lunch afterwards with a friend.
Cycle day 1
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12-10-2011, 19:39   #2920
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Fri.day, sorry to hear this month was unsuccessful for you...its a horrible feeling.
but on another note....10mile run!!! my god woman, thats incredible! dont think i could run the length of meself How you feeling now? my first day does generally be pretty rough too
 
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12-10-2011, 20:06   #2921
DetectivFoxtrot
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Neyite and Custard, am so so sorry for your loss. I've lit a candle and am thinking of you both and your little angels.
xoxo
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12-10-2011, 20:59   #2922
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Custard cream - I'm so so sorry, I hope your ok, take your time in coming to terms with it... It took me the guts of a year, it's so sad. I miscarried in my first pregnancy at 7 weeks, period came after 35 days.

Neyite.... I'm so so sorry. Please know I truly understand what your going thru. I'm now 21 weeks pregnant with one baby with it's precious twin dying at 9 weeks. It's still so so difficult, at my big scan we could still see the tiny sac and the little baby was still measuring 7 weeks.. So it had gotten smaller but still there. Knowing that's sitting beside my precious little girl is just horrifying. We found out the sex at the scan as we needed some big distraction to try and keep it a happy moment. I now wonder what the sex of the other baby was tho and if they would have been identical. I'll always always be sad about it. I'm obviously so happy to still be pregnant but that doesn't change the fact that you've had a miscarriage and your baby has died. Don't feel you shouldn't be allowed to grieve as you normally would. It's such a conflicting time. I've moved thru the pregnancy with people saying things like ' are u sure it's not twins haha' etc so you have to prepare yourself for that, people don't mean to be cruel they just don't know. I just say yes yes we've had a scan definitely just one and try not to think about it. Sometimes it's just too hard and you feel a bit devastated. That's normal. Doesn't help that Tracy frickin Barlow off corrie pregnant with twins now either!! That practically threw me over the edge!!! I don't want my baby to ever know they were a twin.. It's a v.personal choice but I'd rather protect them from the pain of it and the constant what if's. So I was glad only my family knew. I'm so so sorry. It's horrible. I know when I give birth I'll be devastated delivering the placenta as I know the other twin will be visible upon it. :-( it's so hard to come to terms with.
Please pm me any time with any questions or just to talk it thru. I promise I'll always be here for you as it's a very strange thing to go thru so please know your not on your own. X x x
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12-10-2011, 21:04   #2923
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Neyite and Custard Cream I'm so so sorry, there are no words but if either of you ever need a chat, my number is just a PM away xxx

I'm lighting a candle too x
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12-10-2011, 21:59   #2924
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neyite View Post
Custard, I am so sorry to hear your news. My sincere condolences to you and your husband on your loss.

I got sad news this morning too - one of my little twins stopped growing at 8 weeks, The little one I was worried about. I know I should be happy that I still have one very healthy baby, and I am, but today I need to grieve for my little one that was only with us for a short while. My emotions are all mixed up - The nurse pointed out the twin that was moving around - the head, the arms, the feet, and I was so proud, yet at the same time my heart was breaking because the other little one was so still, and small.

I had to pull a sickie after our early morning scan. If I had to listen to my supervisor flap on about a dumb spreadsheet or report today, I might have cheerfully killed her. My partner is in bits, I have never seen him cry before, but today he is so upset. Which sets me off. Today I have cried so much for my little fragile child that was too delicate for this world.
neyite ,- really sorry for ur loss its hearbreaking
custard cream, so sorry for your loss as well

my thoughts are with you both, i dont post often but like to check in
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12-10-2011, 22:19   #2925
Neyite
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Thankyou all so much for your thoughts and prayers, I am so thankful that I have wonderful women as friends here to help me. It mean so much.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dublinlady View Post
Neyite.... I'm so so sorry. Please know I truly understand what your going thru. I'm now 21 weeks pregnant with one baby with it's precious twin dying at 9 weeks. It's still so so difficult, at my big scan we could still see the tiny sac and the little baby was still measuring 7 weeks.. So it had gotten smaller but still there. Knowing that's sitting beside my precious little girl is just horrifying. We found out the sex at the scan as we needed some big distraction to try and keep it a happy moment. I now wonder what the sex of the other baby was tho and if they would have been identical. I'll always always be sad about it. I'm obviously so happy to still be pregnant but that doesn't change the fact that you've had a miscarriage and your baby has died. Don't feel you shouldn't be allowed to grieve as you normally would. It's such a conflicting time. I've moved thru the pregnancy with people saying things like ' are u sure it's not twins haha' etc so you have to prepare yourself for that, people don't mean to be cruel they just don't know. I just say yes yes we've had a scan definitely just one and try not to think about it. Sometimes it's just too hard and you feel a bit devastated. That's normal. Doesn't help that Tracy frickin Barlow off corrie pregnant with twins now either!! That practically threw me over the edge!!! I don't want my baby to ever know they were a twin.. It's a v.personal choice but I'd rather protect them from the pain of it and the constant what if's. So I was glad only my family knew. I'm so so sorry. It's horrible. I know when I give birth I'll be devastated delivering the placenta as I know the other twin will be visible upon it. :-( it's so hard to come to terms with.
Please pm me any time with any questions or just to talk it thru. I promise I'll always be here for you as it's a very strange thing to go thru so please know your not on your own. X x x
DL, you answered many questions I didnt know I had, thankyou so much for your kind words. I had assumed that we would tell people that there were twins but now just a single baby but I realise now that it would cloud our announcement of good news in a few weeks, so we might discuss it with family after the happy commotion comes down a bit. When you mentioned not telling your daughter, it was also something we didnt consider today (I guess we still need time to think everything through) so we are going to have a think about it individually and maybe have a chat about what we think at the weekend.

Your comments about the placenta reminded me of something - My sister took home all hers and buried it in her garden with a tree over it. Its an old maori tradition in NZ where she is. There are many traditions linking the placenta with the child and the earth, or to honour the role the placenta played in nourishing the child. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Placenta
We decided this evening that we will take the placenta along with our little twin home from the hospital to bury and choose a nice tree for remembrance, and plant it as a resting place for our twin. We have a site we plan to build on, it was always going to be home, so its a comfort to us bring him/her home in a way. Is this something that would interest you, as a little memorial? Certainly Irish hospitals do it as there are many more nationalities giving birth here. My sis had her last one in Mayo, and they didnt bat an eyelid when she asked to bring the placenta home.

The heads up about the twin comments is appreciated too - I never even thought. Since I am quite titchy, in late pregnancy I will look bigger so I will probably get a few of those.

I am better than I was this morning - it was just such a shock. It will just take time to get my head around. I still have one little brilliant baby there, who was moving loads on the monitor so I think of that to smile.

Thanks again everyone.. what would I do without you all?
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