is marriage pointless these days? - Page 4 - boards.ie
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07-10-2007, 00:19   #46
bluewolf
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loismustdie
watna would you get married in church even though you don't believe in god?

i think marraige is impractical. it's a pity the public see it as an act of dedication when it is only an expensive day out. a couple can prove their love by their day-to-day habits.
i think it would be more important to put money and efforts to get a mortgage in a time when house prices are high, and be able to provide well for a family.
the emphasis on wedding days now and expectation are ridiculous.

Well you can't call the entirety of marriage impractical just because of the wedding day
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07-10-2007, 00:37   #47
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i think the cost of a wedding day makes a lasting impact on life after the wedding. i'd be more for a small blessing if anything. i think there are more important things to focus on. marraige doesn't actually change anything. i know people who have been together for up to ten years start to doubt their relationship on the eve of the wedding, whereas before the pressure of the wedding they were happily enjoying the ride.
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07-10-2007, 01:19   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluewolf
Well you can't call the entirety of marriage impractical just because of the wedding day
Just ask Bridezilla!
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07-10-2007, 11:46   #49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elessar
Yes it's pointless. Also financial suicide.

I cant help but snigger when I hear one of my co-workers calling his fiance every f*cking hour cos they're just so much in love. Wait until your 40 mate, you'll hardly have a conversation with your wife, if you're still married that is, which you wont be after one of you cheats or falls "out of love" with the other and everything becomes routine. The you loose the house, your car, your money and your life.

Oh the naive.
Jayzus -- cynical much?!
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07-10-2007, 12:07   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loismustdie
watna would you get married in church even though you don't believe in god?

i think marraige is impractical. it's a pity the public see it as an act of dedication when it is only an expensive day out. a couple can prove their love by their day-to-day habits.
i think it would be more important to put money and efforts to get a mortgage in a time when house prices are high, and be able to provide well for a family.
the emphasis on wedding days now and expectation are ridiculous. my baby shares his dad's surname as that is necessary for social reasons in this age to avoid stereotyping
No, I wouldn't get married in a church

a) I'm not a believer
b) my bf is a hindu!
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08-10-2007, 12:02   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kelle
Marriage is not pointless if you find Mr. Right. I married mine 11 years ago yesterday!
There is no point of having Mr. Right if Mrs. Right is not there.
I know one woman who claims to have Mr. Right and go out of her way to make him miserable, when he does not agree with her about any little thing, such as when to pick up a paper. He is not allowed to have his own opinion or have any freedom. She constantly questions (degrading manner) him where has he gone to. He can’t escape from marriage because financially, it is not an option for him, and he is beaten up emotionally and no longer have confidence in himself.
That is not a partnership of equals. The saying "the old ball and chain" comes into mind here. She claims she is happy, because she gets her way. He is totally miserable and put up a performance when out in public. Most people notice it, especially when she puts him down in public, and she very obnoxious when she does it.
She hates me, because I began to question her calm manner in more detail about her relationship, especially when she starts to complain about divorce and the effect it has on children (Most of the Time it is the fighting between them is the main problem especially when they turn the child against the other parent), and unmarried couples living together, etc. I usually find holes in her claims and question those holes in her argument. She usually looses her temper.

I know another couple they both have completely opposite views and they both accept that. When they make a decision together, there is no complaining or arguing about past events. They give each other respect and support when they need to, not just in the good times but in desperate times too. This couple never stops taking to each other, and you just can’t get a word in there once they start!!. To him she is not the “Ball and chain” but a breath of fresh air and he is right, and I envy him and he knows it too. This was a fella who was very nervous about getting married incase she would change just like the other woman I mentioned.

In these modern day, with our law and society, Marriage hands over more personal freedom and control to the female gender of the marriage, especially when there are kids are involved.

As a quote of One woman I know said to her newly found husband on their wedding day speech,
“What is yours is mine and what is mine is mine”
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08-10-2007, 12:49   #52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by limklad
As a quote of One woman I know said to her newly found husband on their wedding day speech,
“What is yours is mine and what is mine is mine”
I just remembered that I heard from a friend, another bride said the same a similar thing to his cousin after he sign his life away, she says: "I'm the Boss, and I now own you and everything you have"
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08-10-2007, 13:39   #53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ejmaztec
So, what do unmarried parents call their kids? (talking surnames here, not bast*rds)
My parents never married. I was given my fathers surname. Then the parents broke up and mam gave me her surname. I have the official change of name form! It didn't cause too much hassle because I was like 3yrs old or something.

I think marriage is old fashioned and a waste of money. It ages you by a few years also. It starts the ball rolling ie. kids, house, mortgage, no more sessions with the boyz etc.

If I did find a really nice girlfriend, "the one", and I was confident that I could spend the rest of my life with her, I'd SKIP THE WEDDING and go straight for an extended honeymoon. 3 months traveling around some continent like South America or whatever. After the 3 months you will know for sure if you want to spend the rest of your life together or not.

Marriage is almost a tribal custom don't you think? Stuck to the same person UNTIL YOU DIE???!!! It's crazy IMO.

A very rare sight is two wedded 40yr olds holding hands....
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08-10-2007, 13:51   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elessar
Yes it's pointless. Also financial suicide.

I cant help but snigger when I hear one of my co-workers calling his fiance every f*cking hour cos they're just so much in love. Wait until your 40 mate, you'll hardly have a conversation with your wife, if you're still married that is, which you wont be after one of you cheats or falls "out of love" with the other and everything becomes routine. The you loose the house, your car, your money and your life.

Oh the naive.
'oh the bitter' more like
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08-10-2007, 14:23   #55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninja_scrotum
I'd SKIP THE WEDDING and go straight for an extended honeymoon. 3 months traveling around some continent like South America or whatever. After the 3 months you will know for sure if you want to spend the rest of your life together or not.
Thats exactly what i told my sister to do ... but did she listen?

1 day in the arsehole of Clare vs. 3 months living it up in SE Asia...

no contest...
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08-10-2007, 14:28   #56
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its interesting that alot of the views expressed here seem to display a dissillusionment with marriage and the whole idea..I still have faith in it as an institution and a important part of society.
I do think that there is so much emphasis placed on the day itself and it is absolutely ridiculous going 30k in debt, only to constantly worry about how much everyone else will give you in return so that you can hope to break even...
the point of a marriage and indeed a wedding day is to stand up in front of your family and friends, and maybe god if that s what you want and say to everyone, I love this person and I want to spend the rest of my life with them...not neccesarily to have the flashiest hotel, etc etc...if the emphasis shifted from all that maybe ppl would nt be getting married for all the wrong reasons!!

marriages are never easy but there is also evidence to suggest that along with every marriage break down there is a very happily married couple...I know my parents are just one, 31 years strong...
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08-10-2007, 14:35   #57
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Marriage as a contract and as a legal way by which a person gains rights is still important and valid.
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08-10-2007, 15:02   #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thaedydal
Marriage as a contract and as a legal way by which a person
Mostly (al lot on the side of females)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thaedydal
gains rights is still important and valid.
What Rights? and Yes it is a contract, an unfair one to Honest Males nowadays, If a wife leaves a family home and abandon the child to go live with her fling and leave with the husband to look after the child on his own and then a few years later she goes for full custody and wins. This has happens all over the world. Again, Explain what rights!

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08-10-2007, 15:02   #59
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I don't think marriage works in todays world. I would enter into a contract to start a family though. We agree to have a kid and do our best to raise it it would last 18 years. The parents wouldn't necessarily have to stay faithful to they're partner but would have to consider whats best for the child. It's what happens in the real world anyway once two people have a child they're stuck together for all time no matter what happens.
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08-10-2007, 16:50   #60
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a lot people are atheist these days - why get joined to someone in an institution you don't believe in/don't attend??????? it's financial ruin and then afterwards phrases such as the 'aul ball and chain come out of the woodwork
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