Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Co. Laois, Ireland
Jack replied, "Fair enough then, ya big purple príck! How we gonna do this then? Tomorrow morning in the park?"
"Sure. How does the classic pistols at dawn sound?", asks Barney.
"Sounds fine to me", replies Jack. "Besides, I like to do my killing before breakfast anyway."
"Really?", replied Barney. "Because so do I, asshole! And you're the one who'll be going down tomorrow." With that, he hung up.
Dawn, the next morning, and Barney was standing in a local park waiting for Jack to show up. Jack nonchalauntly (sp?) comes walking out from behind some trees.
Barney shouts out, "So, you ready to do this then...... beatch?", laughing mockingly at Jack. He doesn't reply, he just keeps on walking towards Barney calmly, showing no emotion at all. Barney then suddenly notices that Jack appears to be unarmed and decides to take swift advantage of the situation. He pulls out his 18 century-style pistol and aims it at Jack ordering him to, "Stop right there. You didn't really think I was going to just let you try and shoot me in a fair duel, did you? It was always my intention to shoot you first before you even had a chance to blink. And seeing how it looks like you came unarmed, it seems I really do have the upper hand here now, doesn't it?" A sneery grin spreads across his face as he says to Jack, "Say hello to Terri for me!", and he pulls the trigger.
However, Jack ducks and Barney's shot misses wildly. "Ah shít!", exclaims Barney. "Never mind, I got plenty more lead shot and gunpowder where that came from, bitch!", and he starts to reload.
Just then, Jack reached behind his back and pulled out two Heckler & Koch USP Compact 9mm pistols....... his personal favourites! "Oh....... shít!", muttered Barney. "Hey, come on man, that's a bit unfair, isn't it?", Barney said pleadingly to Jack.
Jack replied, "Well, you did say "pistols at dawn", didn't you? You never said what kind of pistols, though, or how many, did you?"
"Ah, come on, man! You knew what I meant. I meant like this old piece of crap I've got here! Hey, what you say we just drop the guns and duke it out mano-e-mano, eh? Give a dinosaur a chance, whatdya say?", Barney pleaded to Jack.
"You weren't going to give me a chance to begin with so why should I?", Jack scowled back. "Oh, by the way, nobody calls me bitch!" And with that Jack came running toward Barney, duel-weilding his USP's and unloaded two whole clips into him. With Barney lying dead in a massive pool of his own blood, Jack stood over him and whispered, "I always preferred Sesame Street!"
Just then, his cellphone rang. Jack didn't recognise the number so he answered, "Hello, who's this?" The voice on the other end said, "It's.............
Last edited by aidan_dunne; 21-04-2007 at 20:03.