[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

defenseless women? then it's up to them to learn to defend themselves, stand on their own two feet and protect themselves. If they are not willing to do that, I don't see why I should give a ****. They are the ones being hit, not me and if they're too googly-eyed over their abusive partner to register that something is wrong and to do something about it,it's no one else's business.

greenkittie, an easy solution would have been to get a solid grip on his balls and squeeze/pull at them until he was crying more than she was. It's not like men are completely invulnerable to pain. That is one simple way to take down any man.

[WhiteWashMan]

Originally Posted by mike65

Ditto that, there's class of woman (it seems) that'll take any amount of sh1te
for the sake of having a man (so-called) by thier side.

Mike.

dont be stupid.

[Kinetic^]

Originally Posted by WhiteWashMan

dont be stupid.

You don't be stupid!!!

[connundrum]

I didn't find the comment stupid. If not a class then definitely a significant section of the female population.

[Black Swan]

Originally Posted by Mordeth

defenseless women? then it's up to them to learn to defend themselves, stand on their own two feet and protect themselves.

I agree with you. After work, I part-time instruct martial arts and wish that all women would enroll and stay in a programme of self-defense, as well as for their increased health, fitness, and improved self esteem. Unfortunately, few women enoll in MA, and those that do often drop out way too soon. If I was to have a daughter someday, it would be required, just like school.

Originally Posted by Mordeth

greenkittie, an easy solution would have been to get a solid grip on his balls and squeeze/pull at them until he was crying more than she was. It's not like men are completely invulnerable to pain. That is one simple way to take down any man.

This is not good advice! If the smaller, lighter, and less strong average untrained girl attempted this or some other technique, the likelihood that she would make the larger, heavier, stronger male more aggressive towards her would be the likely outcome. Or taking a couple of weeks of self defense classes is a joke, cause it takes years to become skillful enough to defend yourself against a larger, aggressive opponent.

The average girl/woman's best defense against these bullies is to call the gardai and file a complaint.

[Backtoblack]

wow cool blue lagoon!! Didn't know you did MA!
I would love to but tried a few of them and was only ever good at TaiChi.. which I loved but not good self defence as a beginner.
Anyway, won't go way off topic.

[Black Swan]

Originally Posted by Backtoblack

wow cool blue lagoon!! Didn't know you did MA!
I would love to but tried a few of them and was only ever good at TaiChi.. which I loved but not good self defence as a beginner.
Anyway, won't go way off topic.

Started very young, way before I knew what I was doing. Know a little more now, having successfully tested and achieved my Kukkiwon 2-dan black belt in taekwondo a couple months past. Instructing after work is fun. Just wish I could convince more girls and women to learn how to defend themselves against bullies like the ones mentioned in this thread.

[passive]

Didn't know you did MA!

I do yore MA.

[Dave!]

Nice.

[ats]

A guy from the Us wrote a song about this very subject. his name is Chris Kane. the story goes that he had a neighbour that was constantly being hit by her partner and one night he got sick of it and to quote "I politely knocked at the door and politely beat the sh1t out of him, This girl never spoke to me again but i don't care coz she left him soon after that" so at least one realised the situation she was in and used the help of a good Samaritan to find an exit.

its a well documented fact that a lot of good Samaritans do end up the worse for wear ofter these incidents. I myself got involved. luckily it wasn't a violent exchange. the guy was in her face late on Saturday night, she was in floods of tears and she looked scared. i just walked up and asked him to give it a rest, then just stepped back and stood there, he fecked off and she thanked me. I walked her to a cab and sent her on her way. I'd like to think that she went her own way after that but some peoples stupidity never fails to amaze me. that was about 10 years ago, now i doubt I'd get involved. maybe call the police or something and hang around if needed.

@ Blue Lagoon, I have for many years tried to get my wife to come to MA classes with me, I've trained in many stiles off and on for the last 15 - 20 years and keep telling her of the health benefits but also the fact that most schools i have gone to have a self defence section, and some are specific for female students. but she wont go, says she'd feel stupid.

[WhiteWashMan]

Originally Posted by connundrum

I didn't find the comment stupid. If not a class then definitely a significant section of the female population.

so, youre saying that there are a set of females out there that will put up physical and mental abuse, just so they can tell people they have a boyfriend?

and you actually believe that?

i think its a bit more complicated.

there are certianly people in abusive relationships that are afraid to leave for various reasons, in much the same way there are people in non abusive realtionships that wont leave.

but to say that people remain in this realtionships just becuase they want to be able to 'have a man at their side' is stupidity.

[galah]

thought long and hard about writing anything in this thread, since there is an awful lot of ignorant crap being posted...

Anyway, the posters who say the whole thing is more complex than "if you're abused then leave" are right. Been there, not easy. And I consider myself a strong person, and thought it would never happen to me.

First of all, those relationships are not abusive all the time - otherwise, it would be a no-brainer. The problem is that if you're in such a relationship, you also have good times, the constant hope that the abuser will change and life will always be peachy - until the next bout of abuse comes along, keeping you hoping for the nice times. Plus the promises of the abuser to change. One reason to stay in such a relationship.

Second of all, as said before, the abuser will manage to reduce your self-esteem and self-worth to zero. You WILL start to think that you are fat/ugly/useless/not worth anything/won't get anyone else anyway. This process is usually slow and subtle, but effective. If you're constantly told you're fat, you will start to believe it. You will also believe that noone else wants you, and you should be lucky to have a partner, who, in his graceful air, keeps you, even though you're fat and ugly and useless. Be grateful!

Third: Leaving is not that easy. I for example, was stuck in a far-away land, with my visa depending on this relationship, and no support network (and a scary amount of pride - I simply did not want to come crawling back home and admitting that moving to this country with this guy was a big mistake).
Plus the second I was strong enough to say i wanted out of the relationship, a whole different level of abuse started - of the violent, death-threat kind. Makes you think twice, believe me. You know you want and must out, but you're scared ****less of what will happen if you dare.

sorry, running out of time here, but there's definitely more to these abusive relationships and the people who remain in it than meets the eye...Don't judge them, instead, if it happens to someone around you, offer support, and slow constant reassurance. People in these relationships have to realise themselves what's going on, but they need encourangement, and a second, more realistic opinion to help them see clear...

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

this is after hours, if the Op wanted a rational reasoned debate on the subject he would have posted in Humanities.

[connundrum]

Originally Posted by WhiteWashMan

so, youre saying that there are a set of females out there that will put up physical and mental abuse, just so they can tell people they have a boyfriend?

and you actually believe that?

i think its a bit more complicated.

there are certianly people in abusive relationships that are afraid to leave for various reasons, in much the same way there are people in non abusive realtionships that wont leave.

but to say that people remain in this realtionships just becuase they want to be able to 'have a man at their side' is stupidity.

I presume that no woman would set out with the intention of taking a beating provided that her man doesn't stray.

I will agree with you that it is far more complicated but I was, as I'm sure Mike65 was being general. Maybe you can't be as general with relation to this topic.

But again, I have seen/know women who will take a few slaps and to my knowledge there is no reason for them to stay with the man ie. no children, renting a house, not married etc.

It is probably a mixture of fear of being alone and a dwindling hope that the man will actually change his ways.

Either way its sad. (with no sarcastic undertone)

[Black Swan]

Originally Posted by ats

@ Blue Lagoon, I have for many years tried to get my wife to come to MA classes with me, I've trained in many stiles off and on for the last 15 - 20 years and keep telling her of the health benefits but also the fact that most schools i have gone to have a self defence section, and some are specific for female students. but she wont go, says she'd feel stupid.

Yes, she is missing out on improved physical health, fitness, and self esteem. Some of the women I know look younger than their peers of the same age, and demonstrate a higher level of energy. With both of you in MA, you could have fun working out together, not only during training sessions, but with improved fitness and stamina, it could lead to even more fun afterhours...