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Decoding mens brains

  • 30-04-2006 11:06am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Im sure this thread has been posted a BILLION times already but ANYWAY... I dont understand why guys dont approach me when im out for the weekend. .. Im totally not blowin my own trumpet as im the LEAST full of it person you'll meet BUT I am an attractive girl. My male mates tell me. I have a decent body(im happy enough with it) size twelve incase your wondering. Dress well(my bank balance will tell you that).. Im smart and funni and im a good laugh to be around. I dont scowl at men and I dont go out in gaggles of girls or guys... I really dont get it.. so what is it???? What make men approach a girl after you make the eye contact, smile ect (with out lookin like a desparado lol). And I know some of u wil say why dont I make the move to meet people guys and girls but it would be noce to get some feed back hear....


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Why are you waiting arround like a wallflower waiting for guys to come talk to you ?
    Why can't you be grown up enough to take responsibilty for your life and what you want in it and go make the frist approach yourself to who ever catches your eye ?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 752 ✭✭✭Lorax


    Im sure this thread has been posted a BILLION times already but ANYWAY... I dont understand why guys dont approach me when im out for the weekend. .. Im totally not blowin my own trumpet as im the LEAST full of it person you'll meet BUT I am an attractive girl. My male mates tell me. I have a decent body(im happy enough with it) size twelve incase your wondering. Dress well(my bank balance will tell you that).. Im smart and funni and im a good laugh to be around. I dont scowl at men and I dont go out in gaggles of girls or guys... I really dont get it.. so what is it???? What make men approach a girl after you make the eye contact, smile ect (with out lookin like a desparado lol). And I know some of u wil say why dont I make the move to meet people guys and girls but it would be noce to get some feed back hear....

    Maybe u are ugly?


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,419 ✭✭✭Doodee


    Lorax wrote:
    Maybe u are ugly?
    We can be the judge of that!


    Heh, this is the complete reverse of the typical guy post.
    If you are looking around the room and locking eyes with the fella you like then they are probably thinking the same thing. so everytime your glances meet it cause each is expecting the other to make the move. all you simply have to do next time that happens is just becon him towards you using your finger.

    From there, just let him talk and break the ice further. its all well and good saying oh but why cant they come over by themseves. well, the truth is
    Fortune favours the brave.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,523 ✭✭✭ApeXaviour


    Thaedydal wrote:
    Why are you waiting arround like a wallflower waiting for guys to come talk to you ?
    lol :D Quite true.

    Are you just standing with your bunch of friends? It's nigh on impossible to penetrate a group, especially if there are other men in there. After you make eye contact try getting yourself on your own and make sure he notices. Do it in his direction also. Obviously smile. You can't look like a desperado by just smiling (not grinning insanely mind you).


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    Maybe you should go out with just one friend.Girls are always a lot more approchable to guys when theres only a small bunch of them. I always find when Im out with a big bunch of mates I never get chetted up but If im with just one then I do.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 5,292 ✭✭✭ionapaul


    panda100 wrote:
    Maybe you should go out with just one friend.Girls are always a lot more approchable to guys when theres only a small bunch of them. I always find when Im out with a big bunch of mates I never get chetted up but If im with just one then I do.
    That's it. I rarely approach groups of 4 women or more, my wingman and I would rather talk to two girls, as when you see two girls out you are fairly confident that they are receptive to being chatted to. Particularly in a busy place on a Friday or Saturday night.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    . And I know some of u wil say why dont I make the move to meet people guys and girls but it would be noce to get some feed back hear....
    Thaedydal read above .. im not a TOTAL recluse.. I do chat to men my question is it a battle to get them to approach.. Almost like men are becoming lazy... and no Im not ugly..But thanks to the other comments... i shall NOT stare like a loon. Right so this question.. When a girl approaches a guy is his oppininon of her slightly lower ie.. does she seem a little domeniering or agressive. Im not talkin grabbin your asses altho it is funni sometimes... Jus wonderin do you not like to be the more dominant... And I TOTALLY get the whole not comin near a gang of women.. Jesus I would be petrified of some of the gaggles of women sometimes.. They would EAT YOU ALIVE.. Again let me re state I DO INITIATE CONVERSATION.. Just looking for a little of your insight (you lot are difficult to understand sometimes)


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,220 ✭✭✭✭Lex Luthor


    I always find a few Sambucas brought over normally break the ice...

    Just knock one back beforehand for a bit of dutch courage and dive right in.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 181 ✭✭Exon


    I don't understand what's going on in my own head half the time so i'd say it's confusing for a girl :)


  • Administrators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,695 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭hullaballoo


    It's not a matter of decoding a guys brain as such. It's more brainwashing that works. You should be able to use your confidence and personality to convince a guy that he likes you.

    If it weren't for that tack, old hullaballoo would be on a losing battle with aesthetics.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 301 ✭✭Sony


    well im not being funny but if you were nice looking and flashed a smile at me in a pub/club Id be straight over :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 596 ✭✭✭DirtyDog


    Im sure this thread has been posted a BILLION times already but ANYWAY... I dont understand why guys dont approach me when im out for the weekend. .. Im totally not blowin my own trumpet as im the LEAST full of it person you'll meet BUT I am an attractive girl. My male mates tell me. I have a decent body(im happy enough with it) size twelve incase your wondering. Dress well(my bank balance will tell you that).. Im smart and funni and im a good laugh to be around. I dont scowl at men and I dont go out in gaggles of girls or guys... I really dont get it.. so what is it???? What make men approach a girl after you make the eye contact, smile ect (with out lookin like a desparado lol). And I know some of u wil say why dont I make the move to meet people guys and girls but it would be noce to get some feed back hear....

    Can I ask what age you are? and what age guy you try attract?


  • Registered Users Posts: 494 ✭✭meowCat


    panda100 wrote:
    Maybe you should go out with just one friend.Girls are always a lot more approchable to guys when theres only a small bunch of them. I always find when Im out with a big bunch of mates I never get chetted up but If im with just one then I do.

    Exactly. Was just about to say the same. Big group of girls seem to scare men off. And in fairness, it's not nice being rejected in front of a big group of girls.

    OP, when out with a bunch of girls, try to give a smile at a cute guy on way to the ladies. Chances are high he'll approach you on your way out.

    Or go to the bar yourself to get a drink and smile, smile, smile....always does the trick. If you're drunk/courageous enough, invite them over with a "nod and a smile". It's quite a bold statement, but always seems to work.

    EDIT1: and you don't need to learn to approach men. That's non-sense. There are no shy men. Just those that are not really interested.

    EDIT2: and my ex bf is just saying that there actually are attractive and nice girls out there, but he wouldn't approach them, because there would be some "subtle" thing about their body language that would make him not consider them. I was surprised about this statement...but that's what he said.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 25,848 ✭✭✭✭Zombrex


    Almost like men are becoming lazy...

    They are not lazy they are confused.

    Modern culture bombards men with the idea that women HATE being approached in a club/pub by a guy. There a countless films/songs/ads along the lines of "Can I buy you a drink?" "I'd rather have the money please" .. go feminism!

    So now you have the rather bizare situation where women are complaining that guys are not approaching them anymore (i've heard this from my friends too). Well, sorry don't blame the guys blame every Pink or Christian Agulara song complaining about men approaching them in clubs.

    From observing my female friends it seems to me that they don't mind being approached in clubs but only by the guys they like. They hate being approached by guys they don't like. Well, unforunately for the guy he doesn't know before hand. So is it any surprise they are sitting this one out
    When a girl approaches a guy is his oppininon of her slightly lower ie.. does she seem a little domeniering or agressive.
    No, he is thinking "thank christ" because you have just saved him work of spending half an hour doing stupid glances trying to figure out if you like him or not and working out a good chat up line.

    Despite what girls seem to believe its actually quite hard to tell if a girl is smiling at you, or even looking at you, in a crowded dark night club.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 301 ✭✭Sony


    Well a part of why l dont like approaching a group of women is because theres more of a chance that there'll be "one bad apple " mate (whos scorned after being dumped by some bstard fella) that goes out of her way to "protect" her girlfriends from getting to know yet another "stupid man"(me!)...

    seriously though you must be going to the wrong places or something cause I thought in general women would have a pain in the ass with lads coming up to them all night?!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 25,848 ✭✭✭✭Zombrex


    Sony wrote:
    Well a part of why l dont like approaching a group of women is because theres more of a chance that there'll be "one bad apple " mate (whos scorned after being dumped by some bstard fella) that goes out of her way to "protect" her girlfriends from getting to know yet another "stupid man"(me!)...

    LOL ... met her a few weeks ago, she pratical sholdered me away from this girl she was "rescuing" from me and dragged her off back to the group of friends. The girl I was talking to even said "sorry about this" as she was dragged away .. women! :p
    Sony wrote:
    seriously though you must be going to the wrong places or something cause I thought in general women would have a pain in the ass with lads coming up to them all night?!

    Its true, which is one of the reason I don't really do it anymore. For the few times you meet a nice girl who wants to chat (even if it doesn't go anywhere) there are a lot more girls who looks at you as if you have "Rapist" written on your head and tells you to f**k off. And to be honest I don't blame them, there are even more assh**e guys out there. Its becme guily by assocation. But any time I think a girl is being unreasonable I just think would I want that guy chatting up my sister, and the answer 90% of the time is "Hell no!"

    Its like a night club has become a battlefield these days and after a while you just become sick of the constant bullsh*t that goes with a Saturday night out. Personally I would rather go to something like a house party where you are going to be introduced to people and you don't have your ears bleeding from the speakers ... maybe I'm just getting old :D

    So sorry ladies, if you want some good lov'n from the Wick-mister you are going to have to work for it girls :cool:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 301 ✭✭Sony


    funny, when you think about it - its one of the most embarrassing things blokes have to deal with when it happens - rejection,whether they do it nicely or not doesnt matter.... suppose you need to be able to take it in your stride and laugh at yourself about it but even so it still doesnt soften the blow much!!

    Imagine how devastated a girl would be if she spotted what she thought was "a nice fella" in a club-she worked up the courage to go over to him and say hello only for the bloke to turn around to her ,look at her in disgust and turn his back on her again to laugh about it with his mates:eek: ..shed never go out again....now im not saying this has NEVER happened to girls or that it happens a lot with lads but Id say most blokes at one time or another could identify with something like that happening to them


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 850 ✭✭✭DOLEMAN


    What bars are you going to?

    You'll defo be chatted up in the likes of The Mezz, D2, The Village etc.

    I would never approach a girl in a typical "office worker" bar, eg. The Odean, Dakota, etc. Too many bitches/egos etc. But in relaxed places like The Mezz etc., I have no problem going over to girls!

    I know my friends feel similar too.

    /edit sorry for saying etc every two seconds!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 238 ✭✭AngryAnderson


    I rarely chat up Irish women anymore. Too many fit foreign girls around and they're considerably more receptive and friendly.


  • Registered Users Posts: 494 ✭✭meowCat


    I rarely chat up Irish women anymore. Too many fit foreign girls around and they're considerably more receptive and friendly.

    Explain "more receptive and friendly" please.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,366 ✭✭✭luckat


    Most people meet each other through friends - you meet your friends' brothers, their boyfriends' brothers and so on. The idea that you stand there looking gorgeous and some hunk comes up and adoringly chats you up is only very occasionally accurate.

    You're probably chatted up more than you realise - and probably it's because you don't fancy the fellows who are chatting you up.

    If you like the look of someone you can always go over to him and make some excuse to talk to him - "Excuse me, I heard you're from Tipperary and I'm driving there next weekend, what's the best route to take?" or something equally limp - but if he's with his mates they'll probably be gaping at you. That's what it's like for him if he comes over to you. Get the idea?

    People are people. Men and women aren't really that different; humans have more in common than the sexes have in difference. Get a friend to introduce you (with limp excuse: "Joey, this is Josie, I know you're interested in actuarial calculations and she's fascinated by them too") and then just ladle on the flattery until you're both laughing.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 301 ✭✭Sony


    I rarely chat up Irish women anymore. Too many fit foreign girls around and they're considerably more receptive and friendly.


    What?! Thats a bit of a stupid statement

    The only people that I know that tend to be drawn to foreign women when theyre out, do so because theyre the only people that cant understand them-which seems to work in their favour:o

    I find chatting up foreign girls is usually a bit boring, even if they speak good english they still usually dont get sarcasm,wit or half of the things youd be saying to them---this along with the fact that you cant beat irish women (not ALL )and anyone that says differently has'nt been meeting the right ones:D


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,255 ✭✭✭✭The_Minister


    meowCat wrote:
    EDIT1: and you don't need to learn to approach men. That's non-sense. There are no shy men. Just those that are not really interested.
    That is completely ignorant. There are many shy men around, or men who only go for girls they see as being at their level.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 850 ✭✭✭DOLEMAN


    I rarely chat up Irish women anymore. Too many fit foreign girls around and they're considerably more receptive and friendly.

    I agree. If I saw the OP in a bar, I would not chat her up either. It's too much of a risk (attempting to chat up an Irish girl.)

    So maybe this explains one of the guys who hasn't approached you yet! :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Ah guys. Must say 1st off that you all sound like really decent blokes and your really opening my (AND other ladies) reading this.

    In answer to some of your questions. Sony-I drink and socialize in a lot of different places- I don’t drink much so I tend to head to a wuite bar first then go dancing. And drag some poor guy off to show me their moves. The look of pertification is priceless. I usually attract older(than me) guys-late twenties early thirty- I’m 24. Or really young one's who spot a pair of legs and want to show off their cockiness to their mates.

    Jesus I really feel for you lot. I was out tonight for example and this bloke came over. Wasn’t remotely attracted to him but I was yapping. (he break the ice technique was great. done a pretend magic trick that failed miserably which was his intention to get the ahhh vote. excellent)He had a great way of talking to people - I told him - he then told me what some girl had just said to him (as he obviously had been usin the same lines with most of the girls. lol) she called her mate over and said ' de ye hear this yoke. Tell her what ye said t me ye plonker' ohmigod. bee ach. The poor guy. I would have run crying and locked myself in a closet for the rest of my live long days.

    lol at the girls mate who dragged her mate away from you also. that is what we call a hairy Mary (feminist who HATES ALL WILLIES as she hasn’t been offered one in a decade due to permanent scowling) so if you come across these Marys again. you simply tap her and tell her you weren’t speaking to her you were talking to her friend and if she was jealous all she had to do is say so and tell her friend where you are should she want to caht to you. 9/10 times they will come over. Thank you for the insight guys. Keep them coming - any more words of wisdom.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,531 ✭✭✭jrey1981


    OP, perhaps you should put your situation down to logic.

    Perhaps you are a bit too intimidatingly attractive for the shy guys to have enough confidence to approach you...

    And not quite the type of ten-a-penny look that the arrogant assholes tend to go for.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,212 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Like going about town in twos (girls) is a good suggestion.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    I dont understand why guys dont approach me when im out for the weekend. .. Im totally not blowin my own trumpet as im the LEAST full of it person you'll meet BUT I am an attractive girl.
    This is really the wrong place to ask. If you feel men are not approaching you is may well be due to something that you’re no aware of yourself, which means we’re not going to guess it here if you’re the one supplying us with information. I suggest you ask a friend who knows you - preferably with an I.Q. above room temperature - for their feedback.

    As an aside, Irish men are not famous for their capacity to chat up women. Their capacity to drink with their mates until drunk enough to make a ham fisted attempt at chatting up an Irish woman (who thankfully will often be as drunk as the male of the species) is not in question however.
    meowCat wrote:
    EDIT1: and you don't need to learn to approach men. That's non-sense. There are no shy men. Just those that are not really interested.
    Silly girl. There are shy men - and brash men and confident men and quiet men. There are all types of men, just as there are all types of women. Social convention simply means that men are pushed to be more aggressive in the mating game, but that does not mean that all men end up doing this.
    Sony wrote:
    I find chatting up foreign girls is usually a bit boring, even if they speak good english they still usually dont get sarcasm,wit or half of the things youd be saying to them---this along with the fact that you cant beat irish women (not ALL )and anyone that says differently has'nt been meeting the right ones:D
    It’s not every day you read something as cretinous as this (although meowCat’s contribution came close). Talk about doing it for the Fatherland.

    There are both good and bad Irish women as there are with any other nationality. There are also good and bad traits in Irish women as you will find with any other nationality. So the fact that you seem to blame the language or culture of foreign women for the fact that they don’t ‘get you’ says more about your (rather typically Irish male) attitudes to seduction that their capacity to ‘get you’.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 301 ✭✭Sony


    Hairy marys-heard that one before alright...well mizz OP if youre up draggging fellas all over the dance floor I dont think you need much advice do ya?;) I had to stay in last night:rolleyes: so no dancing for me....

    maybe youre right mr corinthian-maybe im exactly that a typical irish male - sure you go ahead and decide for yourself sounds like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning anyway:eek:

    Remind me not to compliment Irish women again on here:p


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 301 ✭✭Sony


    Hairy marys-heard that one before alright...well mizz OP if youre up draggging fellas all over the dance floor I dont think you need much advice do ya?;) I had to stay in last night:rolleyes: so no dancing for me....

    maybe youre right mr corinthian-maybe im exactly that a typical irish male - sure you go ahead and decide for yourself sounds like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning anyway:eek:

    Remind me not to compliment Irish women again on here:p


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