Confessions of a Pedophile
I love little girls.
I am a pedophile.
I am proud of who I am.
I hope that some day, I will be able to utter these words openly, audibly, and without fear of persecution and ostracism. I hope that someday you will accept me for what I am and cease to judge me.
If you are like most people, you have already condemned me. You have already decided that I am a pervert or a deviant. You already wish you knew who and where I am so that you could at the very least denounce me and publicly shame me; at worst cause me bodily harm or kill me.
If you are still reading this, I implore you to read on with an open mind, and listen to what I have to say. I urge you not to judge me until you have more facts about who and what I am.
Who I Am
Let me begin by telling you what I am not. I am not a child molester or a child rapist. I am not a sex-starved deviant and I am not a lonely man who is unable to have a ‘normal’ relationship with somebody my own age. I am not a criminal. I have never engaged in sexual relations with anybody who was under the legal age of consent in the state in which I was residing. I am not a predator. I do not lurk around schools trying to attract young girls with candy or other gifts.
If you ever met me, you would see how little I resemble the stereotype. I received an excellent private education. I am highly articulate and well-read. I have performed successfully in a number of demanding work situations. I am a loving father. The only thing that sets me apart from millions of others like me is that I have a sexual orientation that our present society regards as deviant and dangerous. Nevertheless, I am neither dangerous nor a deviant.
What I am is a pedophile. By definition, a pedophile is somebody who is sexually attracted to girls under the age of 14. In my case, I am primarily attracted to pubescent and pre-pubescent girls between the ages of nine and thirteen. However, I must stress that I am steadfastly opposed to any sexual activity that is involuntary or is obtained by any form of coercion or manipulation. I also do not advocate penetrative sexual intercourse with girls who have not yet reached puberty.
How I Love Little Girls
Please consider the first statement I made in this letter. I love little girls. I did not say that I lust after little girls, but that I love them. The love I feel towards little girls is not merely eros, or erotic love, but agape, a much deeper love based on mutual respect and admiration. This is not to say that I am not sexually aroused by young girls, because I am. It simply means that my feelings towards young girls are much deeper than just the desire to engage in intimate relations with them. If allowed to, I would openly forge deep friendships with them.
I can hear you asking yourself what a man in his 30s could possibly have to talk about with a 12-year old girl. You are probably thinking that I must be immature if I seek the companionship of a pubescent girl. However, you could not be further from the truth! I can talk with a young girl about so many things. It is true that a young girl does not have the intellectual sophistication that I do, nor does she have the experiences that I do, but she does have something that I do not have, or, more accurately, no longer have. She has her youth! She has the undistorted view of the world that we adults have lost. She can see things as they are, not as we have been conditioned to see them. Nothing can be more exciting than watching her look at the world about her with wonder and amazement. It is indeed precious to be able to capture at least a glimpse of the world she sees, to hear even just a little of her childlike wisdom. Indeed, she can teach me, and could teach many of us, if we would only listen! Our society, however, teaches us to be condescending towards her, and to belittle her thoughts rather than encouraging her to express herself and share her thoughts with us.
I have been very fortunate to have had the opportunity on a couple of beautiful occasions to forge deep platonic relationships with young girls. these were times of great happiness in my life, as we were both able to build a very special bond and appreciate the world from a different perspective. I would love to have had the opportunity to advance these relationships on a physical level, but the real possibility of persecution held us back. It is unfortunate that we were unable to be totally fulfilled in these relationships.
How Society Treats Youth
Sexual relations are a natural desire of people who have grown to love each other. Unfortunately, today's youth are given unhealthy signals about sex by society and the media. Indeed, our society is amazingly hypocritical. On the one hand, it idolizes and glorifies youth and sexuality and urges young girls to be ‘sexy’. If you do not believe this, just look at all the provocative fashions now marketed to youth and the television programs and films churned out by the studios. Look at advertising, which openly flaunts young girls as sex symbols. On the other hand, society urges youth to forego the realization of their sexuality.
The result of this approach has been tragic. Since young people are not allowed openly to express their budding sexuality, they are forced to explore it secretly. This causes date rape, teenage pregnancy and other epidemics that afflict modern youth. Rather than suppressing a natural physiological development, we should encourage young people to begin exploring their sexuality in a healthy environment. We should empower them to make responsible choices by giving them access to information, contraceptives and a positive atmosphere.
Society also disregards the individual development of young people, instead discriminating against them on the basis of their age. This broad-brush approach is unfair to those informed youth who are already able to understand accountability and equipped both mentally and emotionally to make decisions for themselves. It is hypocritical that society does not believe that young people are grown up enough to make decisions about their own bodies, yet increasingly holds them criminally culpable for their deeds.
Such laws are a relatively modern phenomenon. It was only around the turn of the 20th century that age of consent laws began to appear in industrialized nations. The historical record is vastly different, with puberty being widely accepted across many cultures as both the threshold of adult responsibility and sexual consent.
Why I Should Be Allowed to Love Little Girls
Perhaps you agree with my analysis of current society, but still do not agree that I should be allowed to pursue a sexual relationship with a pubescent girl. Why should a stigma be attached to an age differential? What difference does it really make if a young girl has sexual relations with someone her own age or someone much older than she is? We should be primarily concerned with whether the girl is a willing participant in the relationship, and if the relationship is edifying and beneficial.
I believe that I am in a much better position to provide her with such a relationship than many of her male peers, because of my age. Why? Primarily because I am emotionally and sexually already mature, whilst many of her peers are just beginning to explore their own sexuality, and tend to put a much higher importance on ‘doing it’ than creating an enduring friendship. Her male peers are actually more likely to coerce her into sexual activities than I am, because they have a much more urgent need to fulfill their sexual desires and lack patience. On the other hand, I want to create positive and beautiful experiences with her, to explore her mind and her heart, to be her friend as well as her lover.
Many people argue that young girls are not physically mature enough to engage in sexual relations. I agree that pre-pubescent girls have not yet reached the proper level of physical development to engage in penile intercourse without doing damage, and do not seek the privilege to do so. Intimate relations, however, comprise much more than penetration and I believe that people of all ages should have the right to express themselves sexually regardless of their age. While young girls may not be ready for penetration, they certainly can engage in and enjoy kissing, cuddling, snuggling, masturbation and oral sex without doing any harm to their bodies. The most important thing is to be sensitive to the girl’s level of emotional development and to only engage in activities appropriate for her level of development. I would take great joy in being the sensitive lover who was able to help the young girl explore her body and the joys of intimacy in an atmosphere of mutual trust and respect.
Why I Love Little Girls
Maybe you are still wondering why I love little girls. Perhaps you think that it is the result of psychological deficiencies or a troubled childhood. You are wrong. Yes, I was molested as a small child, and the experience left me with a great deal of psychological trauma and guilt. Much of my guilt feelings were due to the fact that sex is a taboo topic, and I was taught as a child that sex was something that was ‘dirty’ or ‘nasty’. I actually remember enjoying some of the sexual experiences. My trauma was not a result of the sexual acts themselves, but of the coercive atmosphere and the physical beatings which regularly accompanied the sexual activities...
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What does everyone think? Personally, I have no opinion, I'm just shocked.