[Pter]

Inspired my sig. quality.

also:

sea captain: I run a school for wimpy lobsters where we toughen coddled lobsters up.

marge: we re not sending our lobster to college

sea captain: arr, tell me this then, do you have any spare change.

[ashyle]

Ha... you know when Bart sneaks off to the 50 cent concert..?
Principal Skinner and Homer are watching the video of the concert- Skinner "If only we knew the exact time..." (rapper with clock around his neck appears onscreen)
"If only we knew the exact date...(rapper with date '20th September 2003' on a chain round his neck appears)


Oh that had me giggling for days.

[iremex]

Mr. Burns to Smithers: "Homer Simpson thinks he's the cock of the walk. Well I tell you Smithers, Homer Simpson is the cock of nothing!

[Dudess]

Homer (during his brief stint as a manager with Globex Corporatio): I can't buy that. Only management-type guys with big salaries like me can afford things like that. [gasps] Guys like me?! I'm a guy like me!

Homer (after using on his hat a free sample of fabric softener that came in the post): Mmmm... I can feel three kinds of softness!

[Steve_o]

"Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son." - Lionel Hutz

"My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star." - Grandpa Simpson

"Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2." - Chief Wiggum.

These are just a small few of my favourite quotes!!

[Totz]

Kent: "A large bear-like creature.......most likely a bear"

[Colonel Sanders]

Rev Lovejoy: Homer, god didn't burn down your house but he was working in the hearts of your fellow town's people who put it out, be they christian, jew or miscellaneous.

Apu: Hey, there are 750 million of us!

Rev Lovejoy: Ah, thats just swell!

And the alltime great....

Lisa: Beware the ides of march.

Homer: No!

Just looking at the germans take over the powerplant now:

My name is horst, the new owners asked me to speak to you as I am the most non threatening!

[Red Hand]

"My cat's breath smells like catfood..." -Ralph Wiggum

[Mr. Presentable]

Homer auditioning for the part of Mr Burns.

Rubs hands together, " exaaaactly. D'oh!"

[aequinoctium]

those are prescription pants

- Comic Book Guy

[imeddyhobbs]

Yes indeed you certainly may not - comic book guy

Me fail english thats unpossible - Ralph

[aequinoctium]

implied lisa, or implode - - Homer

[aequinoctium]

"i'll only marry again for love...maybe once more for money" - Selma

[Colonel Sanders]

http://www.thesimpsonsquotes.com/

[gubbie]

[in the episode where Bart and Lisa join the ice hockey teams]
Bart: OK, but on my way, I'm going to be doing this. (twirls arms) If you get hit, it's your own fault.
Lisa: OK, then I'm going to start kicking air like this. (kicks) And if any part of you should fill that air, (kicks) it's your own fault.
(They walk towards each other, then start fighting)
Marge: Oh, I better go check that out. Now Homer, don't you eat this pie!
Homer: OK... All right, pie, I'm just going to do this. (chomps air) And if you get eaten, it's your own fault! (walks towards pie, chomping air, and hits head on range head) Ow! Oh, my-- aw, to hell with this. (grabs pie and eats it)
HAHAHA!

The very much quoted Ralph line in full:
Skinner: All right, first academic alert: Wiggum, Ralph.
Ralph: I won, I won! (walks on stage)
Skinner: No no, Ralph, this means you're failing English.
Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible!

Homer: Its your child versus mine, the winner will be showered with praise, the loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore

From the movie:
"Spider pig, spider pig, does what ever a spider pig does"
and
"He's not spider pig anymore, he's Harry Plopper"

Originally Posted by Caesar_Bojangle

Let the bears pay the bear tax, I pay the Homer tax.

Thats the homeOWNER tax Amazing


From when Lisa becomes a vegetarian:
Homer: It's just a little dirty! It's still good it's still good!!
It's just a little wet! It's still good it's still good!!!!!!
It's just a little airborne! It's still good it's stil-


[when told by marge that mass is only a hour long]
"Then God should have made a week an hour longer"

[when Homer gets sick from that sandwich so he can't go to Duff Gardens]
"What are the odds of getting sick on a Saturday? One in a thousand!"


My favourite grandpa one:
Grandpa: "We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don’t go anywhere. Like that time I took the ferry over to Shelbyville; I needed a new heel for my shoe. So, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah, the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have any white onions, because of the war; the only thing you can get was those big yellow ones.”


Homer: You mean you're never going to eat meat again?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Bacon?
Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Oh sure Lisa, a special, magical animal.

Homer: Good things don't end with -ium, they end with -mania and -teria

Homer: Crying won't get your dog back! Now you could stay here and keep eating dog food until your tears taste enough like dog food so that your dog comes home, or you could go and find your dog!
Bart: You're right! I'm going to go find my dog! (Leaves.)
Homer: Drats. Almost had him eating dog food.


Lisa: Dad whats a muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a man, and its not quite a puppet but (laughs)... so to answer your question I don't know

Homer: How can I get bart to do things with me.
Homer's brain: Why not try reverse psychology.
Homer: That won't ever work.
Homer's brain: O.K., don't try reverse psychology.
Homer: Alright, I WILL try reverse psychology.