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31-03-2012, 21:06   #91
Capt'n Midnight
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31-03-2012, 23:46   #92
ProudDUB
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At least the spud didn't have claws.

Asked my old restaurant boss once what was the worst/best/funniest excuse he heard for an employee not coming into work. He said it was a waiter calling and saying that he couldn't come in as he'd been gerbiling the night before and his ass was cut to ribbons. Cue me looking mucho puzzled as to what he was talking about.

Turns out it is putting a gerbil into a sock, tying a knot in it and then shoving it up your bum. Apparently, the gerbils to-ing and fro-ing in the sock trying to escape gets the business done in the pleasure department.

Only thing is, this idiot neglected to trim the claws of the poor wee gerbil before he sent him on the ride of a lifetime.

As an employer, it would tend to stand out from the typical " the my dog ate my homework " type of excuses that they are used to hearing wouldn't it?

Last edited by ProudDUB; 01-04-2012 at 00:03.
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31-03-2012, 23:55   #93
Johro
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I wonder did they send the spud to the kitchen?
I mean, with the recession and all..
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01-04-2012, 00:00   #94
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Potato: 'It was horrible, just horrible... I.. I don't even... L-leave me alone!'
(in an interview for the Sun).
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01-04-2012, 11:11   #95
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its better him getting action from vegetables than young children
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01-04-2012, 11:19   #96
Mr E
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01-04-2012, 12:08   #97
The Snipe
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In the words of System of a Down.... PULL THE POTATOE OUT OF YOUR ARSE!


But seriously I guess he took it too far when he heard the term, "Straining the spuds"
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01-04-2012, 19:06   #98
shancoduff
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ProudDUB View Post
At least the spud didn't have claws.

Asked my old restaurant boss once what was the worst/best/funniest excuse he heard for an employee not coming into work. He said it was a waiter calling and saying that he couldn't come in as he'd been gerbiling the night before and his ass was cut to ribbons. Cue me looking mucho puzzled as to what he was talking about.

Turns out it is putting a gerbil into a sock, tying a knot in it and then shoving it up your bum. Apparently, the gerbils to-ing and fro-ing in the sock trying to escape gets the business done in the pleasure department.

Only thing is, this idiot neglected to trim the claws of the poor wee gerbil before he sent him on the ride of a lifetime.

As an employer, it would tend to stand out from the typical " the my dog ate my homework " type of excuses that they are used to hearing wouldn't it?
You must feel honoured to have worked with Stephen Lynch
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01-04-2012, 19:36   #99
Hootanany
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ProudDUB View Post
At least the spud didn't have claws.

Asked my old restaurant boss once what was the worst/best/funniest excuse he heard for an employee not coming into work. He said it was a waiter calling and saying that he couldn't come in as he'd been gerbiling the night before and his ass was cut to ribbons. Cue me looking mucho puzzled as to what he was talking about.

Turns out it is putting a gerbil into a sock, tying a knot in it and then shoving it up your bum. Apparently, the gerbils to-ing and fro-ing in the sock trying to escape gets the business done in the pleasure department.

Only thing is, this idiot neglected to trim the claws of the poor wee gerbil before he sent him on the ride of a lifetime.

As an employer, it would tend to stand out from the typical " the my dog ate my homework " type of excuses that they are used to hearing wouldn't it?
I heard you need a bit of Wavin pipe to do this.
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01-04-2012, 21:30   #100
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