Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Seren_ · 02-04-2012 9:53pm

howsyourtusk wrote: »

Know I'm always here for the chats. Never an imposition

yep I know, thanks x

cloud493 · 02-04-2012 9:57pm

Your Text Here wrote: »

I don't even know cloud that's the worst bit, because if I knew I could try change it.

I'm really sorry to hear that sweetheart. Just remember, the night is darkest just before the dawn.

jammstarr · 02-04-2012 10:18pm

Fed up of this shit

Princess Peach · 02-04-2012 10:51pm

Really need to start getting out more in the day! I find many excuses to stay in bed, I don't have a desk in my room and I have lots of assignments, its too cold to go outside yadda yadda.

But sure didn't do a tap all weekend! Working on a paper all day, 372 words in after many hours!

Think I need to start making more solid schedules re study and leaving the house for a little bit, rather than "Ah I'll get to it at some stage of the day." Never happens then!

And as often as I do it staying in bed does not feel good. I feel really tired and dirty, and my room is a mess then.

moe_sizlak · 02-04-2012 11:42pm

stupidusername wrote: »

you mean when my self esteem wasn't a problem? nope.

so thier was no pivotal moment , event or experience which was the catalyist for your depression ?

stupidusername · 02-04-2012 11:54pm

moe_sizlak wrote: »

so thier was no pivotal moment , event or experience which was the catalyist for your depression ?

i could list out all the things that i think contributed to it, but no i don't think there was one pivotal thing.

jammstarr · 02-04-2012 11:58pm

If you'd almost be luckier if there was one pivotal thing that caused it as you'd know what to tackle. Otherwise getting somewhere better is hard

stupidusername · 03-04-2012 12:03am

yep exactly. it's my whole life that's caused it. it's me and my brain, the way i've developed, i can't manage stuff that happens.

in terms of relationships i suppose there's two very important parts about my past - one is my parents relationship, I can see how that's affected my view on things. and two is my first relationship, i was insecure, but it was made loads worse by it happening to be with someone that didn't really want to be with me, but kept saying he did. that just screwed with my ability to trust.

jammstarr · 03-04-2012 12:07am

stupidusername wrote: »

yep exactly. it's my whole life that's caused it. it's me and my brain, the way i've developed, i can't manage stuff that happens.

I wonder if I was ever normal. Like I can distinctly remember when things got really bad but I can't recall a time when I wasn't on edge or uncomfortable in some way, even throughout childhood.

stupidusername · 03-04-2012 12:12am

jammstarr wrote: »

I wonder if I was ever normal. Like I can distinctly remember when things got really bad but I can't recall a time when I wasn't on edge or uncomfortable in some way, even throughout childhood.

same here. that's what makes me think it's just me, the way I am. there's no drug that's going to make me better.

my childhood, looking back over it, i felt bullied at home, and i was bullied at school. it was constantly uncomfortable. my parents were always fighting and every time they did i bawled my eyes out.

i am going to flick through my CBT book and see if there's anything worth doing. and then i'll consider getting a book on mindfullness.

[Deleted User] · 03-04-2012 12:17am

stupidusername wrote: »

and two is my first relationship, i was insecure, but it was made loads worse by it happening to be with someone that didn't really want to be with me, but kept saying he did. that just screwed with my ability to trust.

stupidusername wrote: »

my childhood, looking back over it, i felt bullied at home, and i was bullied at school. it was constantly uncomfortable. my parents were always fighting and every time they did i bawled my eyes out.

I see some similarities with my situation here. My parents got on fine, mind you, but I was bullied at school. Also, the first girl I got any way serious with messed with my head and that did cause trust issues.

I know it's probably no help to you but thought I'd share it anyway. You're not alone here.

FanadMan · 03-04-2012 2:28am

noah45 wrote: »

Feeling down and binging
Even though the weather is good still feel motivation-less, don't want to do anything.

On 300mg venlafaxine (Effexor)and 100mg bupropion (Wellbutrin) in am and Agomelatine (Valdoxan)in pmWhen will I ever feel normal?

You'll feel normal when you're ready....it can take ages or just a few months.

It's all a matter of perspective - how you look at yourself. If you don't feel good on your current meds, it would be a good idea to speak to you psych/therapist. It can take a while to get the correct prescription but by your post you really need better contact with someone you can talk to properly. Are you working with a therapist or CBT?

As you say you are binging, help from a CBT would be helpful - they can really help you see how you are thinking and how to change the thoughts that are causin the problems.

Don't worry - there is a light at the end of the tunnel

Take care

J

FanadMan · 03-04-2012 2:43am

Karsini wrote: »

I see some similarities with my situation here. My parents got on fine, mind you, but I was bullied at school. Also, the first girl I got any way serious with messed with my head and that did cause trust issues.

I know it's probably no help to you but thought I'd share it anyway. You're not alone here.

Same here - happy enough family life but bullied at school which really messed me up. Now I would have been called shy (and been given some help) but hated any interaction with the rest of the kids which left me outside the norm so was a target. And meeting those bullies now is still freaky - am still scared when I see them......and that's after 30 or so years!

It's amazing how small people back then can really screw up your life even now. Had a lot of dealings with a CBT and that helped a lot in the way I remember things and how I dealt with them.....have even spoken to some of those bullies since then. Was hard as hell but getting there!

J

nesf · 03-04-2012 4:59am

Sleep today: 1pm-10pm, 12pm-4pm.

moe_sizlak · 03-04-2012 11:42am

stupidusername wrote: »

i could list out all the things that i think contributed to it, but no i don't think there was one pivotal thing.

im no psychologist but that suggests to me that you dont have reactionary depression , a lot of people crack under pressure after a particular experience and depression sets in and often stays around permanently even its only on and off , i know from personal experience that while my upbringing was not ideal , i was always able to cope but an experience at twenty was too much and very different to everything that went before , the change was incredibly noticable and changed me utterly

have doctors told you , you might have clinical depression , depression which is caused by a chemical imbalance , internal rather than external cause

anonimous · 03-04-2012 11:59am

it would be so much easier if there was just one event that triggered this. then i might feel slightly less guilty. i have no reason to be depressed, and yet here i am

i am so fed up

Temaz · 03-04-2012 1:45pm

Have an awful tension headache. Always get one when I get stressed.

LegacyUser · 03-04-2012 2:00pm

KyussBishop wrote: »

Hey fear2012; ya I remember feeling a lot like that in school, not knowing how to interpret others comments, and overanalyzing things, being unable to tell if it was malicious or just joking (in my case, much of it was malicious, but that's not always the case).
A lot better now thankfully, but stuff like that (coupled with other longstanding issues) crippled me socially then, and has had a lasting effect up to now.

It's the kind of thing that, if you find it hard to interpret on your own, it really helps to get a second perspective on it; it sounds like these kind of issues plague you a lot, so seeing a counselor or psych to discuss these things with could be really beneficial, even if just to get an outside perspective.

Hey Kyuss, i know totally what you mean. It would be even easier if people were outright nasty, then at least you could put all doubt aside as of their intentions, but this cloak and dagger sneaky snide comment here and there stuff leaves you not knowing what the story is. Over the years, ive nearly conditioned myself to think the worst in every situation, so I dont even know myself whats what.

I went to a psychiatrist before, twice in fact. While I did'nt expect any molly coddling or anything, i found both to be quite distant and of absolutely no help. The last one helped himself to an extra 30e , as the cheque was written for the consultation was 30e more, and since I have always shyed away from that kinda stuff, he ended up keeping the extra money for himself. While i know i should have asked for it, I simply did'nt even have that in me to do it. But him being the shrink would have known that, and took the extra.

zero19 · 03-04-2012 5:05pm

Having such a ****ty day, 2 weeks on steroids tomorrow. Woke up angry over nothing still like a ball of rage right now...

KyussBishop · 03-04-2012 6:07pm

fear2012 wrote: »

Hey Kyuss, i know totally what you mean. It would be even easier if people were outright nasty, then at least you could put all doubt aside as of their intentions, but this cloak and dagger sneaky snide comment here and there stuff leaves you not knowing what the story is. Over the years, ive nearly conditioned myself to think the worst in every situation, so I dont even know myself whats what.

I went to a psychiatrist before, twice in fact. While I did'nt expect any molly coddling or anything, i found both to be quite distant and of absolutely no help. The last one helped himself to an extra 30e , as the cheque was written for the consultation was 30e more, and since I have always shyed away from that kinda stuff, he ended up keeping the extra money for himself. While i know i should have asked for it, I simply did'nt even have that in me to do it. But him being the shrink would have known that, and took the extra.

Ya exactly, it's the uncertainty and paranoia it instills which is so destructive and cripples your self-esteem; I'm glad I see through it now years later, but when it's happening to you in the moment it's very hard to see it clearly, and can instill a lot of other persistent issues.

Sucks that you met a psych like that, perhaps you could register an account here, post your general area, and people could send you a private message on someone good in that locality?

I don't know if that is within forum rules (posting recommendations in threads isn't I don't think), but it really is pot-luck when trying to find a good counselor or psych (especially if doing it through public rather than private), so finding someone or a place with a good word can save a lot of time/frustration.

cloud493 · 03-04-2012 6:24pm

I've lost 3 stone

didn't think I'd lost that much.

stupidusername · 03-04-2012 6:49pm

i've got myself a book on mindfullness, one that my psych recommended. hoping to start it tonight.

feeling a bit better today. though mostly because he doesn't want to break up.

Temaz · 03-04-2012 7:04pm

Headaches are a nightmare!!

Call Me Jimmy · 03-04-2012 8:06pm

Started new job yesterday. It will completely amputate my soul. As someone said a couple of pages ago, I've no personality either due to constant fear and being in view of people all day is hell for me. No matter how much I try to maintain eye contact or seem interested in what people are saying I can't concentrate on the conversation.

I feel like everyone else looks so clean and comfortable in their skin, when I look at their eyes all I can think about is how bad it must be for them to look at what I look at in the mirror. If only I could wear a burka/bin bag/rubber bandits style thing I'd be able to relax all day and not just when I get home to my room...

I hope you guys are doing okay, I do actually get a small lift hearing some of you are doing better. When I think about it logically I shouldn't really but I think of what it'd be like for me to feel good just for a day and to hear you guys are (at least sometimes) getting that sporadic relief is great!

Gremlinertia · 03-04-2012 10:57pm

Hi, i'm going to ask a favour here, i've a friend new to this whole world, would it be ok if i introduced him to here?.

Gremlinertia · 03-04-2012 11:00pm

Personally i'm pretty bad, but always feel better if i'm trying to help.. Mood swings have been so severe i couldn't tak lately

Gillo · 03-04-2012 11:09pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Hi, i'm going to ask a favour here, i've a friend new to this whole world, would it be ok if i introduced him to here?.

It's a public forum so no reason not to introduce him.

Seren_ · 03-04-2012 11:18pm

moe_sizlak wrote: »

therapy is overrated IMO , at the end of the day , your the only one who can figure things out for yourself , therapy attempts to turn you into a generic by the numbers man or woman , it also forces you to delve deep into your thoughts and once your down there , you might never find your way back out , thinking too much is rarely a good thing unless your on the last question on who wants to be a millionaire

I really would have to disagree with that, especially the bit about turning you into a generic person (therapy has certainly failed me if that's the case

). I think if you find a good therapist who you work well with it can make all the difference. It's made an enormous difference to my life anyway; has made me a bit more comfortable in my skin - something which I thought was impossible. I do agree that thinking too much isn't a good idea though.

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Hi, i'm going to ask a favour here, i've a friend new to this whole world, would it be ok if i introduced him to here?.

Of course! As Gillo says, it's a public forum, anyone can post

Gillo · 03-04-2012 11:23pm

I have to agree with Your Text Here, therapy for the vast majority of people tends to be a positive experience.

jammstarr · 04-04-2012 12:30am

I wouldn't say that it's 100% useless however I did go through both CBT and two counsellors and found that it didn't really help me. I wasn't on medication at the time of the CBT so hard to know whether or not I was able to give it my all.

Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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