Were you bullied in school? Or were you the bully?

lazygal · 29-03-2012 8:55am #1

I was bullied, not really badly but enough to leave me with a few bad memories. Hated my all girls secondary school, won't be sending my children to a single sex school.

blaze1 · 29-03-2012 9:28am

Was bullied up until i was about 11. First day back after the summer head bully said something fairly innocent to me in a football match I turned round and lumped him. He wanted to be my friend after that.

Mr Benevolent · 29-03-2012 9:30am

Yes. I never believe anyone who harks back to their childhood days as the happiest of their life. They're lying.

AudreyHepburn · 29-03-2012 9:31am

I was bullied. Like you LazyGirl it wasn't so bad that it destroyed my life. It never got physical except for the last time she picked on me and it was literally the last straw and I whacked her arm

. I'm not proud of it and in hindsight it's lucky she didn't hit me back. I certainly wouldn't recommend it as a way to stop bullying.

With her it was all verbal. It's funny though....I couldn't pick out any one thing in particular that she said or did that hurt me, it was all small little things that gradually chipped away at my confidence.

It stopped when I was fourteen (the day I hit her arm) but for years my confidence was on the floor and it's really only now that I'm in my mid twenties that I feel happy about myself and my life. I'm still quiet and I still doubt myself but now I can talk myself back up easily.

I realise now, in a way I couldn't have done as a teenager, that bullys are simply cowards and probably lacking in self confidence themselves so they pick on other people to make themselves feel better.

Misticles · 29-03-2012 9:33am

Someone stole my pogs

danniemcq · 29-03-2012 9:48am

Bullied the whole way through school, not as bad in national school but it was there (from some teachers too but thats another story!)

secondary school was worse, skinny, lanky, geeky, into rock music. it was inevitable really looking back now.

There was all sorts, names, hiding my stuff, few beatings, sellotaped to pillars, shoes stolen, doors kicked into my face, lighters to the back of my neck etc etc.

I guess i'm having the last laugh now though, keep meeting some of the inbred f*cks out and about, and seein what they are doing these days (working ****ty jobs, kids all over the county, acting like they are still in secondary school, etc etc) compared to me just makes me smile

swings and roundabouts i guess

Seachmall · 29-03-2012 9:50am

Picked on in primary school until my then best friend and I jumped him after school.

A couple of years later he got me to the ground and threatened to blind me with a cigarette until I apologised.

danniemcq · 29-03-2012 9:53am

AudreyHepburn wrote: »

I realise now, in a way I couldn't have done as a teenager, that bullys are simply cowards and probably lacking in self confidence themselves so they pick on other people to make themselves feel better.

not all, some yes are acting tough to cover their own weaknesses but other are just twats

Cina · 29-03-2012 9:55am

There's a thin line between having banter with people and flat out bullying them and making them depressed.

I did the former, but unfortunately young people can take it the wrong way at times and assume you're actually being serious.

29-03-2012 9:55am

I bullied a few lads when i was in school. The interesting thing is we are all friends now.

Seachmall · 29-03-2012 9:58am

Cina wrote: »

I did the former, but unfortunately young people can take it the wrong way at times and assume you're actually being serious.

I once made a "your mother" joke to a friend of mine, who was a LOT bigger than me.

We ended up fighting after school, he nearly smashed my head through a class room window.

It was a year or two later before I learned his mother had been diagnosed around that time with the big C, she beat it fortunately but I never understood his reaction until I learned that.

Nothingbetter2d · 29-03-2012 9:58am

i was bullied too when i was a small child... i used to have to wear glasses (the professor farnsworth type) while i was going through a period of eye surgeries. one older girl (i was about 6 she was about 12 used to always make fun of me until i swung my school bag at her and broke her nose and lower jaw... since then noone bullied me :P

mikemac1 · 29-03-2012 10:01am

AudreyHepburn wrote: »

I realise now, in a way I couldn't have done as a teenager, that bullys are simply cowards and probably lacking in self confidence themselves so they pick on other people to make themselves feel better.

Maybe for some, pick on someone weaker to deflect the attention on them

But from what I remember the bullies were the kool kidz , successful at school and sports, lots of friends and well liked, they had no need to do it but they just did it anyway

charlietheminxx · 29-03-2012 10:02am

I would say it was more emotional bullying for me. The first two years of primary school, and then in secondary school untilI changed schools. My first secondary school was also an all girls school - like the OP said, I wouldn't send my (non-existant) child to a single sex school.

Duggy747 · 29-03-2012 10:06am

Used to get the piss taken out of me for listening to music like Metallica and being a tech-head into computers.

Later on in school I find out they start going to Korn concerts and singing Limp Bizkit songs on school tours.

Fast forward a few years and next time I see them a large chunk of them dress like hipsters / geeks.

Mind boggles I had to put up with those hypocrytical assholes everyday.

stovelid · 29-03-2012 10:06am

I was never buliied if you define bullied as being systematic and long-term but had a few short-term run-ins with people that didn't last long and was resolved or resolved itself.

Never, ever buliied somebody - it's the lowest of the low for me - but like many people, I sometimes look back with real regret that I didn't intervene when others were bullied. Obviously you would have always jumped in and fought for your friends but you sometimes (whether because of wanting a quiet life, the pack conformity of young boys or just not realizing that it could have long-term affects) ignored it when people not in your crcle were bullied by others, sometimes horribly. I cringe to think of it now.

Cina · 29-03-2012 10:08am

Seachmall wrote: »

I once made a "your mother" joke to a friend of mine, who was a LOT bigger than me.

We ended up fighting after school, he nearly smashed my head through a class room window.

It was a year or two later before I learned his mother had been diagnosed around that time with the big C, she beat it fortunately but I never understood his reaction until I learned that.

Heh, same happened to me. The lad sitting in front of me had his underwear sticking out so I started saying "he's wearing a thong!". I'd had a bit of a laugh with him before, but this time he said "I'm fighting you at lunch", at which point I went "oh sh!t".

Needless to say, it did not go well.

stovelid · 29-03-2012 10:16am

I should add that I was slagged off and sometimes confronted in school a lot for being percieved as 'alternative' but I didn't really class that as bullying. I see bullying as sustained emotonal and physical abuse.

If the people slagging me were tougher, I just ignored it; if they were not, I clattered them. :pac:

gimmick · 29-03-2012 10:18am

I was more of a piss taker and went too far at times, but was never nasty by any means.

Though a few friends of mine said that we were a shower of compete cúnts to a few kids in the years below us. I can remember being involved in some ribbing, but that was mostly to the younger brothers of friends. Maybe I have conveniently forgotten the worst of it.

There was a guy in my year who was horrendously bullied though. I can safely say I was never involved in it, but did stand by and say nothing about it. His crime - he was into "magic" and spoke with a posh english accent.

My folks maintain I was bullied somewhat up to about 3rd class. i was going to a school in a very working class area, and was called "posh head" because I didn't speak like the rest of them. I remember it, but cannot remember it causing any stress to me at the time.

listermint · 29-03-2012 10:19am

Confab wrote: »

Yes. I never believe anyone who harks back to their childhood days as the happiest of their life. They're lying.

Meah,

My childhood was great, bad moments good moments but it was great. I have many many pleasant memories.

Does that make me a liar ? :rolleyes:

Just because you dont feel the same doesnt mean others are lying. Its more of a reflection on your attitude towards others.....

Cina · 29-03-2012 10:20am

Surely college days are the best of peoples lives?

gimmick · 29-03-2012 10:27am

Cina wrote: »

Surely college days are the best of peoples lives?

Maybe, but hark back to when you were 13 and younger. Your biggest worry was that Santa may not be as good as you want him to be.

danniemcq · 29-03-2012 10:42am

Cina wrote: »

Surely college days are the best of peoples lives?

if i remembered them maybe yeah,

actually due to lack of memories they probably were!

or that year i was unemployed in Galway!

Snowie · 29-03-2012 10:48am

I was, I try to vaguely not recall anything from the days of fearing going to school it was never a nice experience or something i like to re-live, Its a tough subject, to even discuss, I got bullied bye a teacher and of course that sent a message to the kids in class its ok to bully him.. So i got a pretty tough time...

I never stuck up for my self as a kid probably didn't help, and a lot of people knocked me down. My biggest misteak, believing them... When your 13 you don't no what self confidence self esteem self worth self regard all these things are interlinked.... When people say your useless you believe them!

Being honest the toughest thing I had to do was go into therapy, relive these memories and work my way threw them, emptying a cloud of negative experiences was pretty over welming, I did chair work.. I haven't been to a councilor in two years Ive lightened the load to a degree. Its been tough, but I guess Im still working things out in terms of me and who I am..

Cina · 29-03-2012 11:08am

danniemcq wrote: »

or that year i was unemployed in Galway!

Me too. Was going to do a Masters, my friends then went "erm, come to Galway, 204 quid a week".

I chose the latter, it was amazing.

fishy fishy · 29-03-2012 11:19am

bully

the most overused word in the english dictionary. Seems like you cannot be a singer, actor, etc. unless you have been bullied at school.

Everybody can say they were "bullied" at school. In 99 percent of the cases, its just normal kids trying to grow up. Everyone has to go through it as kids - you get slagged by some, and you go around and slag others.

This notion of "oh I was so bullied" is crazy. Everyone was in the same boat - and what was done to you, you turned and did to others. Its called growing up - its preparing you for the big bad world out there. Show me someone who was never "slagged" and show me someone who never "slagged" others - you can't - it's impossible.

Stop victimising it. :rolleyes:

Kess73 · 29-03-2012 11:22am

Was a big enough kid, but was very very quiet, and as such I made for a perfect target for bullies. Had a few years of bullying in secondary, verbal and physical. At one point I went almost a full year with each school day seeing me getting thumped or kicked to some degree. Got into keep fit in a big way and joined a local boxing club (two things along with martial arts that I have stayed heavily involved with for over two decades since) but I still suffered from confidence issues and still got picked on.

Then came the year that my younger brother started in the same school and the bullies seemed to think he would be fair game for them as well. Word got back to me just before a class was about to begin that he was after being set upon by my bullies for the first time and something just snapped in me. I found the three guys who went at my brother and my only goal was to make sure my brother did not have to go through the same three years of shyte that I did. Within two days the bullying stopped completely. I got into a bit of hassle in the school as those that attacked my brother ended up with marks on their faces (black eyes, split lips, that kind of thing), but my brother had five years in that school after that with no further hassle (helped by the fact he was 6'5 by the time he left

), and my own confidence improved to no end after I stood up to the bullies.

stovelid · 29-03-2012 11:27am

Kess73 wrote: »

Was a big enough kid, but was very very quiet, and as such I made for a perfect target for bullies. Had a few years of bullying in secondary, verbal and physical. At one point I went almost a full year with each school day seeing me getting thumped or kicked to some degree. Got into keep fit in a big way and joined a local boxing club (two things along with martial arts that I have stayed heavily involved with for over two decades since) but I still suffered from confidence issues and still got picked on.

Then came the year that my younger brother started in the same school and the bullies seemed to think he would be fair game for them as well. Word got back to me just before a class was about to begin that he was after being set upon by my bullies for the first time and something just snapped in me. I found the three guys who went at my brother and my only goal was to make sure my brother did not have to go through the same three years of shyte that I did. Within two days the bullying stopped completely. I got into a bit of hassle in the school as those that attacked my brother ended up with marks on their faces (black eyes, split lips, that kind of thing), but my brother had five years in that school after that with no further hassle (helped by the fact he was 6'5 by the time he left ), and my own confidence improved to no end after I stood up to the bullies.

It must have hurt when your broher killed your pet though.

Babooshka · 29-03-2012 11:38am

Bullied mildly at secondary school. Came from a unisex primary school that had no secondary) into a convent, some of the nuns/teachers were bullies, some of the girls were bullies...the most miserable time of my life. Going from a mixed school with healthy minded teachers and balance to that Dickenzian atmosphere of dread if you made the mistake of looking the wrong way at a nun...the bitches had no right to be teaching.

Got psyhchologically bullied, and that would always lead up to them wanting to "scrap" me (their words) ... or whoever they were picking on. I was a small scrawny girl, but both times I ended up losing it and all the nervous tension amounted to me kicking the crap outta the two girls who started the fights, pure adrenalin. I hate convents to this day, no kid of mine is going near one.

Kess73 · 29-03-2012 11:40am

stovelid wrote: »

It must have hurt when your broher killed your pet though.

What?

cabbage kid · 29-03-2012 11:46am

fishy fishy wrote: »

bully

the most overused word in the english dictionary. Seems like you cannot be a singer, actor, etc. unless you have been bullied at school.

Everybody can say they were "bullied" at school. In 99 percent of the cases, its just normal kids trying to grow up. Everyone has to go through it as kids - you get slagged by some, and you go around and slag others.

This notion of "oh I was so bullied" is crazy. Everyone was in the same boat - and what was done to you, you turned and did to others. Its called growing up - its preparing you for the big bad world out there. Show me someone who was never "slagged" and show me someone who never "slagged" others - you can't - it's impossible.

Stop victimising it. :rolleyes:

How lovely of you to belittle the suffering of others and claim that most people posting here were not wronged in any way.

Sure all the things that those "bullies" said were jokes.

Were you bullied in school? Or were you the bully?

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