Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

will I ever find another girl?

  • 24-10-2014 4:34am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Was dumped 2 years ago after a long term relationship and starting to wonder if I'll ever find another girlfriend. I'm 24, average looking (some people have told me i'm very good looking, others have slagged me off for being ugly), shy as fook and lacking in confidence.

    I loved my previous gf but sadly it wasn't returned and I've only really started to completely get over that in the last few months. In the 2 years since breaking up with the ex I've done some cool stuff like learning guitar, travelling and graduating from college. Also got myself a job. But I can't shake off this lingering feeling that I'll never find another girl. Being the quiet guy that I am, I find myself feeling lonely a lot. I haven't went on any dates since and the only female contact I've had have been 2 "hookups" while travelling. Am I being ridiculously negative? Is there anything I can do to find a girl? I tried online dating but it seems like a waste of time, most girls i'm interested in seem to be looking for someone who looks like Brad Pitt.

    It's like i'm losing confidence the longer I go without having a gf.


Comments

  • #2
    Colonel_McCoy
    Registered Users Posts: 751 ✭✭✭Colonel_McCoy


    Hi,

    You are being very negative, too negative, you are still very young and should not be getting down over this. You have nothing to worry about. It takes time to get over an ex, it all depends on the person, there i no set time.

    As cliched as it sounds stop looking and concentrate on being happy and enjoy your life and it will happen. We all have had the similar feelings as you, I know I have and so have my friends both male and female.

    Just continue to put yourself out there, go out with work colleagues, friends join new clubs etc and more importantly dont listen to anybody who slags you off. Cut them out of your life.

    Dont worry about rejection, I have got more bullets than the opening scene in Saving Private Ryan. Eventlually it worked out for me and it will for you.

    Keep your head up,
    the Colonel


  • #3
    Lalealea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭Lalealea


    Please try and feel better about yourself. And not for the sake of finding a girl. But for you. Someone teasing you about your looks does not mean you are ugly. It means they are ugly. And it means they wanted to make you feel bad and use your insecurities against you.


    It actually says nothing about your actual looks.

    It will work out for you. The Colonel is true to his name and has some strong inspirational words there. Don't listen to people who bring you down. They are BS and full of it. Some people like to live in the dark and think it makes them powerful or interesting. Shine a little light in their way they need it most.

    But don't forget to shine your light. Be you and be happy.

    YES you will find love. :-)

    But most of all you should love you.


  • #4
    Xcellor
    Registered Users Posts: 2,794 ✭✭✭Xcellor


    Until you love yourself don't expect someone else to love you.

    I'm much older than you and found myself seperated and not knowing what to do. I just decided to start improving myself, eating better, sleeping better, exercising, gym, running , saying Yes more, going out more.

    Self belief and confidence comes from within. It doesn't matter how many people say "You're good looking... nice guy blah blah " unless you can make yourself believe it doesn't matter. I found running was an amazing way to just focus your energy and gain self belief... It worked for me. Not saying I'm ubber confident but Im definitely a **** load better than I used to be!


  • #5
    Mr. Incognito
    Registered Users Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    I can assure you the answer is yes,

    Find you first though


  • #6
    Mr. Loverman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,001 ✭✭✭Mr. Loverman


    Lonely4life wrote: »
    average looking

    I know a lot of people here think looks don't matter, but for most people they do.

    Why don't you try to elevate yourself above "average looking"?

    It's pretty simple.

    Nice haircut
    Decent skin products
    Nice clothes (get a female friend who dresses well to go clothes shopping with you)
    Clean teeth
    Fresh breath
    Lose weight (if you're overweight) and join a gym (this will boost your confidence / self esteem / make you feel happy)
    Good posture

    When you know you look good, you feel good, and people are attracted to this.

    Btw, you will definitely meet someone. You're being way to harsh on yourself. Try to be more positive and believe you will meet someone in the future.

    Good luck.


  • Advertisement
Advertisement