Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

The Sailing Trip (Ladies' Lunch Disaster)

124»

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,294 ✭✭✭YellowFeather


    Hi there yellow feather! Just had a look at your bit of writing there and I think I can now see what you're getting at!

    Hey WSF.

    What do you think I was getting at?


  • Registered Users Posts: 768 ✭✭✭WomanSkirtFan8


    Hey WSF.

    What do you think I was getting at?

    Okay, I May have gotten this wrong (my appologiess if I have) but the inconsistencies possibly?


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,294 ✭✭✭YellowFeather


    Okay, I May have gotten this wrong (my appologiess if I have) but the inconsistencies possibly?

    I wasn't really trying to make a point at all - I just found this thread a little funny.

    I don't know if you meant it to be - but your original story comes across as a bit tongue in cheek.


  • Registered Users Posts: 768 ✭✭✭WomanSkirtFan8


    I wasn't really trying to make a point at all - I just found this thread a little funny.

    I don't know if you meant it to be - but your original story comes across as a bit tongue in cheek.

    Okay sorry. Really? How so?


  • Registered Users Posts: 28,793 ✭✭✭✭HeidiHeidi


    The "sailing" in the thread title caught my attention, as I'm an avid sailor.....

    but now I'm wondering if either this thread is a joke and I completely don't get it (wouldn't be the first time!), or I'm stuck in some slightly parallel universe :confused:


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,330 ✭✭✭Gran Hermano


    Merkin wrote: »
    Might I suggest that the soup is carrot and coriander or else roast tomato and balsamic for maximum skirt staining effect.

    When I was reading it I really couldn't picture it as anything but gazpacho.


  • Registered Users Posts: 22,746 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    Gazpacho & a fruity Rioja could work. Maybe one of the women could be Franco's secret love-child?


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    Gazpacho & a fruity Rioja could work. Maybe one of the women could be Franco's secret love-child?

    Perfect, and her mother was the beautiful teenage daughter of a famous matador. Ole!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,330 ✭✭✭Gran Hermano


    Merkin wrote: »
    Perfect, and her mother was the beautiful teenage daughter of a famous matador. Ole!

    Forget the skirts, we can have flamenco dresses dripping gazpacho.


  • Registered Users Posts: 768 ✭✭✭WomanSkirtFan8


    Forget the skirts, we can have flamenco dresses dripping gazpacho.

    Flamenco dresses sounds like a really good idea! The thing is though, what colour? I'm leaning towards blue possibly, not the usual red colour as food stains would show up on that!

    The only reason I put the women into those skirts was the idea that Sharon gets an egg or something similar into her lap (Remember the scene in Shirley Valetine where she gets chips and egg into her lap, staining her skirt? well that's the reaction I had in mind.) but dresses could work just as well (though not ballgowns as they'd look really out of place)


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 2,294 ✭✭✭YellowFeather


    I wasn't really trying to make a point at all - I just found this thread a little funny.

    I don't know if you meant it to be - but your original story comes across as a bit tongue in cheek.
    Okay sorry. Really? How so?

    No need to be sorry! It wasn't a complaint. I actually like your original story - but only if it was written with an intended audience and was not meant to be taken particularly seriously.

    If I were to look at your OP with an eye that assumes this is a serious story, I would have quite a few issues with it. There's too much attention to unimportant details. Such as the ferry coming along. As a reader of a short story - I don't get to meet the ferry again. So I don't care about it. I don't care about why the cupboard door swings open if it doesn't have a consequence. And I certainly don't care about the women's hair colours. If you're going to write short stories - you have to keep them snappy.

    You want the culmination of this to be food being spilled on skirts. And why not I say! But, personally, I'd work on the scene where this happened and then work backwards from that. Make the spills as imaginative and crazy as you want, and then you can think of interesting, but connected, ways to make it happen.
    Yes. I have to admit I know absolutely nothing at all about sailing as I've never had any first-hand experience so that's my excuse there. I had originally intended that the yacht had been put on auto-pilot (?) when the ladies went below.

    Write what you know. It is a bit insulting to your readers not to research such an important part of your story.
    Probably not realistic but then, again that's my own personal interest. I kind of like the fact that their skirts get stained as I find it, a slightly interesting twist. I don't know if their reactions are in any way accurate though?

    You can either write for yourself, or else write for other people. You've got some very good suggestions here. But, if you really want to write this story (and include the yacht thing as well as the clothes thing), you may have to compromise.

    To be honest - I could multiquote, and respond to, most of your answers in this entire thread. And I'm only replying because I enjoyed the thread, and I'm still not sure if you're completely serious. Have you ever taken writing classes? You seem to have talent, but you need to know how to focus it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 22,746 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    Forget the skirts, we can have flamenco dresses dripping gazpacho.


    Ah, here! Why would they be wearing flamenco dresses on a boat? Sarongs maybe - if the weather was nice. In that case you could add an Asian flavor to the scene.

    The women could be clinking bottles of foaming (imagery ties in with the sea theme) Singha beer & eating some manner of curry garnished with fresh coriander. When that stuff splashes on you it is a bitch to shift.

    Possibly they are on the boat after returning from SE Asia with a load of top quality opium & want to have their celebration in privacy from the Drug Squad & Interpol, who have been secretly tailing them in a submarine? The submarine could be 'manned' by a crack team of women in navy skirts. (See what I did there with the colour reference too?)


  • Registered Users Posts: 768 ✭✭✭WomanSkirtFan8


    "You want the culmination of this to be food being spilled on skirts."

    Absolutely. I put Sharon and Karen into long skirts because my idea there was that those two especially, were to get the worst of the dinner mess-up. And I am planning to make it as greasy and messy as possible quite possibly involving some deserts as well. I might also have the women sweating as well to make it really yucky!

    "But, personally, I'd work on the scene where this happened and then work backwards from that."


    Yes I will. That would probably be the best and most sensible thing to do.
    "Make the spills as imaginative and crazy as you want, and then you can think of interesting, but connected, ways to make it happen."
    I will but I don't really want to fall into any form of repetition but am sure I will think of various different ways to make this happen.


  • Registered Users Posts: 768 ✭✭✭WomanSkirtFan8


    "Write what you know. It is a bit insulting to your readers not to research such an important part of your story."

    In relation to the whole issue of sailing and my limited knowledge of it, I should point out that I actually have been researching it and I now know a lot more about it at this point than when I started writing this piece.

    From what I can see, it (and I may be wrong here) it would seem that it all comes down to preparation for a particular voyage and also how to manage things if and when things go wrong.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,815 ✭✭✭lulu1


    HeidiHeidi wrote: »
    The "sailing" in the thread title caught my attention, as I'm an avid sailor.....

    but now I'm wondering if either this thread is a joke and I completely don't get it (wouldn't be the first time!), or I'm stuck in some slightly parallel universe :confused:

    of coarse its a joke there is no one posting under one of his other threads An example of my writing so now he has turned his attention to this one. there is the same carry on in both of them


  • Registered Users Posts: 28,793 ✭✭✭✭HeidiHeidi


    lulu1 wrote: »
    of coarse its a joke there is no one posting under one of his other threads An example of my writing so now he has turned his attention to this one. there is the same carry on in both of them

    It's a him? :eek::eek::eek:


  • Registered Users Posts: 768 ✭✭✭WomanSkirtFan8


    "You've got some very good suggestions here. But, if you really want to write this story (and include the yacht thing as well as the clothes thing), you may have to compromise."

    I have no problem with compromise at all. Many sincere thanks for all the good comments so far. I will be posting another version soon!


  • Registered Users Posts: 768 ✭✭✭WomanSkirtFan8


    HeidiHeidi wrote: »
    It's a him? :eek::eek::eek:

    And exactly what difference does that make?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 94 ✭✭Her name was Lola


    Heidi - it's a boy aged 13-15.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,815 ✭✭✭lulu1


    A him A her or an it they certaintly live up to their pen name gypsy skirts straight skirts soiled skirts ugh


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 768 ✭✭✭WomanSkirtFan8


    Heidi - it's a boy aged 13-15.

    No It is NOT!!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 94 ✭✭Her name was Lola


    No It is NOT!!

    Aw. Do tell us how old you are.


  • Registered Users Posts: 768 ✭✭✭WomanSkirtFan8


    Aw. Do tell us how old you are.

    Over 30.

    Additionlly: My username, is only a name i picked at random. It doesn't mean anything.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,815 ✭✭✭lulu1


    Hqw come you have started so many different threads


  • Registered Users Posts: 768 ✭✭✭WomanSkirtFan8


    lulu1 wrote: »
    Hqw come you have started so many different threads

    Because (and this is the honest truth) i haven't been able to think straight due to various family reasons (which I won't go into). I will admit that I haven't been entirely consistneveent and in the threads that I have created thus far. (Probably wasn't a good idea to do that which I will honestly admit to.)

    Please try and bear in mind the fact I have never published any form of writing on line before so this is a completely new ball game to me but I AM learning.

    It has NEVER been my intention to deliberately cause any confusion amongst anyone here. Again, I can't apologise enough. I don't know what more I can do in this regard.

    I am going to focus on the one story at a time. In this case, the Andrea Witch One and develop that a bit further. I don't mind critcism as long as its not personal.

    I don't know what more I can say here for now. I hope this has helped to clear things up a bit.


  • Registered Users Posts: 450 ✭✭Agent Weebley


    Aw. Do tell us how old you are.

    49. Why?

    What?

    Oh,sorry . . . I thought you were asking about me! My nickname is AW.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 974 ✭✭✭realweirdo


    What era is the story set in? Women don't really go sailing in skirts these days, in the 1920s they might have!


  • Registered Users Posts: 768 ✭✭✭WomanSkirtFan8


    realweirdo wrote: »
    What era is the story set in? Women don't really go sailing in skirts these days, in the 1920s they might have!

    Not too sure of the era as yet. Thats one of the things I'm still working on!


  • Registered Users Posts: 768 ✭✭✭WomanSkirtFan8


    realweirdo wrote: »
    What era is the story set in? Women don't really go sailing in skirts these days, in the 1920s they might have!

    You just got me thinking there! This story might work extremely well as a period piece! Especially when you bear in mind all the social rules,norms and etiquette of the time.

    I hope to post another version of this story soon.




  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 768 ✭✭✭WomanSkirtFan8


    "If I spilled something hot on myself, I'd jump back to try to avoid it, and curse a lot. Then I'd mop it up, first off myself, then off the floor."

    It'd be a bit of a problem with the boat swaying and rolling about though, wouldn't it?
    :(


Advertisement