So he wants a threesome with me and my friend

Ahava · 19-12-2012 4:45pm #1

Well, he didn't say he wanted it, but he said he fantasised about it (it was a text with quite a good description of the fantasy). He also asked if it was allowed, which I thought was super sweet of him.

I told him that yes, that he could fantasise about anything he wanted (and I meant it). What I didn't tell him was that my initial reaction to the text was sadness and a bit of insecurity.

I'm glad I didn't tell him what my immediate feelings about his fantasy were, mainly because once I worked through the feelings of insecurity, a few minutes later I found his fantasy incredibly arousing and I even developed it quite a bit...

So overall this sharing created a new kind of bond and trust between us.

Though I have to say that this little interaction we had changed me a bit. I had to let go of this innocent, perhaps a bit naive belief that I am the only woman he will ever fancy. It opened my eyes to the reality (as I see it) that monogamy is not natural. I now think that if we choose to be in a monogamous relationship, we have to respect and plan for the occasional demands coming from our instincts.

I think I'm ok with that. Still feeling a bit sad about the loss of this innocence but also feeling more confident and adventurous. It's as if my world expanded somewhat.

So what do you think guys and galls? Would you tell your partner that you fantasise about a threesome with them and their friend? How would you react if they told you they fantasise about your friend?

Or do you think that if you are in a committed relationship, that the only person they should fantasise about is you?

Boombastic · 19-12-2012 4:46pm

Ahava wrote: »

Well, he didn't say he wanted it, but he said he fantasised about it (it was a text with quite a good description of the fantasy). He also asked if it was allowed, which I thought was super sweet of him.

I told him that yes, that he could fantasise about anything he wanted (and I meant it). What I didn't tell him was that my initial reaction to the text was sadness and a bit of insecurity.

I'm glad I didn't tell him what my immediate feelings about his fantasy were, mainly because once I worked through the feelings of insecurity, a few minutes later I found his fantasy incredibly arousing and I even developed it quite a bit... So overall this sharing created a new kind of bond and trust between us.

Though I have to say that this little interaction we had changed me a bit. I had to let go of this innocent, perhaps a bit naive belief that I am the only woman he will ever fancy. It opened my eyes to the reality (as I see it) that monogamy is not natural. I now think that if we choose to be in a monogamous relationship, we have to respect and plan for the occasional demands coming from our instincts.

I think I'm ok with that. Still feeling a bit sad about the loss of this innocence but also feeling more confident and adventurous. It's as if my world expanded somewhat.

So what do you think guys and galls? Would you tell your partner that you fantasise about a threesome with them and their friend? How would you react if they told you they fantasise about your friend?

Or do you think that if you are in a committed relationship, that the only person they should fantasise about is you?

He just wants to shag your mate

Gummy Panda · 19-12-2012 4:46pm

what the fúck did i just read?

BBDBB · 19-12-2012 4:47pm

did he mention me filming the three of you?

conorhal · 19-12-2012 4:47pm

Ah tell him to 'eff off and cop himself on, or the only threesome that he's likely to be having in the near future will be between himself, his left hand and his right one.....

vicwatson · 19-12-2012 4:47pm

Leave him, he's a rat that doesn't fancy you anymore and just wants to get it on with your mate. Maybe.

Sar_Bear · 19-12-2012 4:47pm

Why would he tell you about it?! Fantasise away no bother like but jaysus keep it to yourself!

Boombastic · 19-12-2012 4:47pm

Gummy Panda wrote: »

what the fúck did i just read?

Careful now, or they'll be fapping to pictures of you next:D

taytothief · 19-12-2012 4:47pm

Sweet baby jesus.

Noopti · 19-12-2012 4:48pm

Ahava wrote: »

a few minutes later I found his fantasy incredibly arousing and I even developed it quite a bit...

When you say you developed it quite a bit....

Where To · 19-12-2012 4:49pm

Is this that fifty shades of sh1te grey?

MagicMarker · 19-12-2012 4:49pm

So are you going to let him ride your mate or what?

rambutman · 19-12-2012 4:49pm

depends where the relationship is going long-term but if it was me i'd be tempted to say "ok"..............as long as i can have a threesome with you and your best mate

Duggy747 · 19-12-2012 4:49pm

Agree to the threesome.

Just don't tell him you and your friend will be wearing 10'' strap-ons for him.

D-FENS · 19-12-2012 4:50pm

Tell him to wish in one hand, sh*t in the other and see which fills up first.
Although that may be what he wants you and your mate to do..

mirwillbeback · 19-12-2012 4:50pm

I think he just loves you SO much that he feels he needs to extend that love to your friends, who are sort of an extension of you.

It's like he can't get enough of you, so wants the next best thing.

You're very lucky to be loved like that.

padd b1975 · 19-12-2012 4:51pm

Tell him the friend he wants is not interested but another one of your friends is.

Arrange to meet and turn up with a hairy bull queer.

Photograph his reaction

Merkin · 19-12-2012 4:51pm

Ahava wrote: »

Well, he didn't say he wanted it, but he said he fantasised about it (it was a text with quite a good description of the fantasy). He also asked if it was allowed, which I thought was super sweet of him.

:eek: Super sweet of him?

I'd love to see when you think he's not being "sweet"....

BBDBB · 19-12-2012 4:51pm

Question - is your mate another bloke?

Sar_Bear · 19-12-2012 4:52pm

mirwillbeback wrote: »

I think he just loves you SO much that he feels he needs to extend that love to your friends, who are sort of an extension of you.

It's like he can't get enough of you, so wants the next best thing.

You're very lucky to be loved like that.

This is the best answer, ever.

Ahava · 19-12-2012 4:52pm

Sar_Bear wrote: »

Why would he tell you about it?! Fantasise away no bother like but jaysus keep it to yourself!

Yeah, I was thinking that at first. But I'm the sort of person who actually likes the idea of radical honesty. I tend to want to know the truth no matter how dark it is, it gives me a better insight into human nature. I'm glad he told me.

anhedonia · 19-12-2012 4:55pm

Ahava wrote: »

Yeah, I was thinking that at first. But I'm the sort of person who actually likes the idea of radical honesty. I tend to want to know the truth no matter how dark it is, it gives me a better insight into human nature. I'm glad he told me.

yeah savage insight that was, blokes would prefer two girls to the traditional one.

Where To · 19-12-2012 4:55pm

Ahava wrote: »

Yeah, I was thinking that at first. But I'm the sort of person who actually likes the idea of radical honesty. I tend to want to know the truth no matter how dark it is, it gives me a better insight into human nature. I'm glad he told me.

I like the idea of radical honesty too.
I like the idea of not having any restraining orders against me better.

Ush1 · 19-12-2012 4:55pm

Ahava wrote: »

Yeah, I was thinking that at first. But I'm the sort of person who actually likes the idea of radical honesty. I tend to want to know the truth no matter how dark it is, it gives me a better insight into human nature. I'm glad he told me.

Do you wear like dark clothes and hang around in town? Yeah, I'd say you should go ahead with the menage a trois.

Drakares · 19-12-2012 4:56pm

Hahahahhaha.

If I told my OH I wanted to sausage one of her friends, I don't think she'd find it too sweet :pac:

Gauss · 19-12-2012 4:58pm

Ahava wrote: »

Well, he didn't say he wanted it, but he said he fantasised about it (it was a text with quite a good description of the fantasy). He also asked if it was allowed, which I thought was super sweet of him.

I told him that yes, that he could fantasise about anything he wanted (and I meant it). What I didn't tell him was that my initial reaction to the text was sadness and a bit of insecurity.

I'm glad I didn't tell him what my immediate feelings about his fantasy were, mainly because once I worked through the feelings of insecurity, a few minutes later I found his fantasy incredibly arousing and I even developed it quite a bit... So overall this sharing created a new kind of bond and trust between us.

Though I have to say that this little interaction we had changed me a bit. I had to let go of this innocent, perhaps a bit naive belief that I am the only woman he will ever fancy. It opened my eyes to the reality (as I see it) that monogamy is not natural. I now think that if we choose to be in a monogamous relationship, we have to respect and plan for the occasional demands coming from our instincts.

I think I'm ok with that. Still feeling a bit sad about the loss of this innocence but also feeling more confident and adventurous. It's as if my world expanded somewhat.

So what do you think guys and galls? Would you tell your partner that you fantasise about a threesome with them and their friend? How would you react if they told you they fantasise about your friend?

Or do you think that if you are in a committed relationship, that the only person they should fantasise about is you?

Why is it regarded as "guilt" (not "innocent) to be sexually liberal. I despise the term "innocence" in this context.