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I would put this in personal issues, but it's kind of funny so.....

  • 19-08-2008 11:44pm
    #1
    0utpost31
    Closed Accounts Posts: 469 ✭✭0utpost31


    Fake names btw.....

    I was at a session there about two months ago. Myself and friends hit the town, flootered, great craic, etc.

    Went back to my mate Jimmys house, it was just three of us (males) drinkin away and the clock struck 6am and I said "f*kit jimmy I'm wrecked I'm kippin in your bed head to toe if you don't mind."

    Jimmy said "yeh no worries" and conked on the couch on the spot in a sitting upright position.

    Then my other friend Paddy said, "yeah I'm wrecked I'll hop in the bed too, Jimmy can stay on the couch, look at him he's bolixed, not gettin up".

    I looked over at Jimmy. He was slowly slipping into sleepyland with each breath.

    We left him in the sitting room.

    So asleep we went. Head to toe. Nothin' wrong with sleepin in the same bed as mates, I've done it loads of times before. And I was in my own sleeping bag as well so I was extra protected from what was about to happen......

    Ready?

    So myself and paddy were in jimmys bed. I drifted off.... I started to dream.....

    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......

    And I was awoken, gently, by a rhytmic squidgey sound with somebody breathing heavily "oooh ohhh yeah ohhh ohhhh yea ohhh my god ohhhh ohhh".

    I opened my eyes, staring at the wall with the sound coming from behind me. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. What the fuck was it? There was no way my two good mates were going at it, in the same bed as me, RIGHT BEHIND ME!!!!

    I was 100% awake now, still staring at the wall in front of my face "oooh ohhh yeah ohhh ohhhh yea ohhh my god ohhhh ohhh" and I plucked up the courage to turn around and find out exactly what was goin on.

    My mates can't be doing that can they. No way. They're the boys. The lads.

    I turned around.

    Jimmy had Paddys boner gripped tightly and was **** the shyte out if it.

    Paddy was the one screaming "oooh ooh ahh mmmm".

    They didn't notice me turning around.

    I turned right back around to the wall as quickly as possible as my mind raced 100mph.

    "How the fuck do I get out of the room?" I thought.

    Do I just tell them to stop?

    No that's embarrassing.

    This is embarrassing for me! What am I thinking! Of course they have to stop!

    But I should just pretend I didn't notice until the morning. Yeah. That's it.

    As horrible as it is I'll just wait till it's over and then go back to sleep....

    And I wont mention a fucking thing at breakfast...

    I continued staring at the wall as the **** started to die down.

    Phew.

    Sleep. At last.

    ****Tinkle****

    "What the fuck was that????!!!!"

    Suddenly, I heard a BELT BEING UNBUCKLED.

    Ooooohhhh SHYTE!!!

    SHYTE SHYTE SHYTE SHYTE SHYTE!!!!

    The bed started to rock back and forth.

    Paddy was being pushed up against me.

    "I can't stay here any longer" I thought to myself, "I'm going to get jizz and shit sprayed all over my face and all over my lovely new sleeping bag."

    So I said fcuk it. I got up. Without looking of course. And just walked out the door. They didn't stop.

    I should have walked out in the first place but I really was in a state of shock. I've never even seen gay porn on a magazine or film, and to see gay porn for the first time ever in the form of my two good mates shagging right beside me....... phuck.

    It's been two months now, and I've talked to paddy, barely. He says they only kissed. He says Jimmy started it.

    I haven't talked to Jimmy since that night. It's been a good solid two months. We were good college mates. Lived together. Did the same classes as eachother. Now nothing. He knows I know. And I know he knows I know.

    What the fcuk will I do? Will I call him and pretend nothing happened? Or should I ask him what the fcuk was he thinkin. Maybe we can have a chat about it.....

    Now can ye see why it's not fit for personal issues? I wouldn't be able to tell the story seriously enough for personal issues anyways.

    So what ya think?

    Would you say anything to your mate?
    Tagged:


«13456789

Comments

  • #2
    Silverfish
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,696 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    Pics or gtfo.


  • #3
    Random
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,082 ✭✭✭✭Random


    I think you should publish this. This is priceless material.

    Do your mates use boards? Just send them an anonymous link to this thread and it'll all be grand in the morning !


  • #4
    adsgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 260 ✭✭adsgirl


    Poor guys are probably mortified , you should talk to them seperately at least, if you are to stay mates.


  • #5
    Bijoux
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,008 ✭✭✭Bijoux


    Jesus, thats a terrible position to be stuck in (no pun intended)....

    If you and him were such good mates, surely it's worth giving him a ring? Ask how he's been... whatever you feel like.....and if that night comes up, just (a) play it casual like it wasnt a big deal or (b) ask about it, if you want.

    I'd say play it casual, try and keep in contact with him, and sure the situation seems to be awkward enough as it is, surely a few minutes of potential awkwardness on the phone would be worth it if it saves your friendship?


  • #6
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,219 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    This thread has been rated 17. No admission for those below this age without a parent or guardian.


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  • #7
    Phlann
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 827 ✭✭✭Phlann


    el oh fúcking el


  • #8
    Random
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,082 ✭✭✭✭Random


    Bijoux wrote: »
    Jesus, thats a terrible position to be stuck in (no pun intended)....

    If you and him were such good mates, surely it's worth giving him a ring? Ask how he's been... whatever you feel like.....and if that night comes up, just (a) play it casual like it wasnt a big deal or (b) ask about it, if you want.

    I'd say play it casual, try and keep in contact with him, and sure the situation seems to be awkward enough as it is, surely a few minutes of potential awkwardness on the phone would be worth it if it saves your friendship?
    LOL .. "play it casual like it wasnt a big deal" ... :D

    Sorry .. it's late, I'm tired ..


  • #9
    genericgoon
    Registered Users Posts: 1,671 ✭✭✭genericgoon


    You were in the same bed as them . You are now ghey by association.


  • #10
    Sherifu
    Registered Users Posts: 17,727 ✭✭✭✭Sherifu


    Fair play to 'Jimmy' & 'Paddy'. Did balls touch? You may have th3 gay now, i'd get that checked...


  • #11
    Kiera
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    Funny feckin story. I think i wont my housemate up laughin. Rim Ring him and just say nothing?


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  • #12
    brianthebard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,165 ✭✭✭✭brianthebard


    random wrote: »
    I think you should publish this. This is priceless material.
    Dear penthouse...


  • #13
    Bijoux
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,008 ✭✭✭Bijoux


    random wrote: »
    LOL .. "play it casual like it wasnt a big deal" ... :D

    Sorry .. it's late, I'm tired ..


    Ya.....easier said than done obviously! :pac:


  • #14
    Dord
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,817 ✭✭✭✭Dord


    Is one of them from Tallaght and posts on boards by any chance?


  • #15
    Phlann
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 827 ✭✭✭Phlann


    btw I hope that's the last time I ever see the names 'Jimmy' and 'Paddy' in the same sentence as '**** the shyte out of his boner'

    *shudder*


  • #16
    bobcar61
    Registered Users Posts: 1,797 ✭✭✭bobcar61


    That was well worth the read,it was hilarious.

    I don't know what I would do if it was my two best mates and I was in your position,I would probably say talk to him about the night but then again it might be too embarrassing for you to bring up so it might be easier to play it cool and keep it casual but you should definitely call him.


  • #17
    0utpost31
    Closed Accounts Posts: 469 ✭✭0utpost31


    As far as I know, they don't use boards.

    But they are on bebo, and I can set up an anonymous account and post the link to this thread. But that would be lousy, since they're my mates. I think.

    I can still hear it.


  • #18
    Sherifu
    Registered Users Posts: 17,727 ✭✭✭✭Sherifu


    Dord wrote: »
    Is one of them from Tallaght and posts on boards by any chance?
    Lenny said he was too tired to post alright. It all fits.


  • #19
    Ruu_Old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 36,634 ✭✭✭✭Ruu_Old


    Get some of the action while you still can!


  • #20
    genericgoon
    Registered Users Posts: 1,671 ✭✭✭genericgoon


    0utpost31 wrote: »
    As far as I know, they don't use boards.

    But they are on bebo, and I can set up an anonymous account and post the link to this thread. But that would be lousy, since they're my mates. I think.

    I can still hear it.

    Bet you're having a tug to the thought right now. :D


  • #21
    Zaph
    Registered Users, Subscribers Posts: 47,268 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    Dord wrote: »
    Is one of them from Tallaght and posts on boards by any chance?

    :D


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  • #22
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users Posts: 32,972 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    0utpost31 wrote: »
    As far as I know, they don't use boards.

    But they are on bebo, and I can set up an anonymous account and post the link to this thread. But that would be lousy, since they're my mates. I think.
    .

    In that case, I'm guessing the story had a sh1tload of exaggeration (especially re: amount drunk and time of incident) and that it's just down to a little preteen experimentation. They'll grow out of it before the Junior Cert at the latest.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • #23
    Earthhorse
    Registered Users Posts: 14,715 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    I am gay for this thread.


  • #24
    takola
    Registered Users Posts: 4,138 ✭✭✭takola


    Dord wrote: »
    Is one of them from Tallaght and posts on boards by any chance?

    Feeling paranoid are we? :p

    :D


  • #25
    adsgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 260 ✭✭adsgirl


    0utpost31 wrote: »
    As far as I know, they don't use boards.

    But they are on bebo, and I can set up an anonymous account and post the link to this thread. But that would be lousy, since they're my mates. I think.

    I can still hear it.
    Ah no you wouldn't post a link on Bebo, god you are mates, try and talk to them..


  • #26
    0utpost31
    Closed Accounts Posts: 469 ✭✭0utpost31


    Dord, they are not from tallaght. But one of them is from Dublin.

    I'm on holidays this week, with nothing to do, and I'd really like to call up to the main culprit, Paddy, and have a few pints.

    With my arse to the wall.

    The worst thing is, I'm bored shitless on my week and a half off work, and there's that mad World Culture Fest in Dun Leery (I couldn't be bothered spelling it - it's something like "loighre" is it??). Since we've all split up after college and gone our ways we usually get togeter and hit random towns and fests around the country for a weekend, tearing then place up. This Culture Festival is a great oppurtunity to get back together for a chat and a laugh.

    Glad ye enjoyed the story. I got a b1 in hons english and it's finally cumming oops coming to fruition.


  • #27
    genericgoon
    Registered Users Posts: 1,671 ✭✭✭genericgoon


    0utpost31 wrote: »
    Dord, they are not from tallaght. But one of them is from Dublin.

    I'm on holidays this week, with nothing to do, and I'd really like to call up to the main culprit, Paddy, and have a few pints.

    With my arse to the wall.

    The worst thing is, I'm bored shitless on my week and a half off work, and there's that mad World Culture Fest in Dun Leery (I couldn't be bothered spelling it - it's something like "loighre" is it??). Since we've all split up after college and gone our ways we usually get togeter and hit random towns and fests around the country for a weekend, tearing then place up. This Culture Festival is a great oppurtunity to get back together for a chat and a laugh. shag.

    Glad ye enjoyed the story. I got a b1 in hons english and it's finally cumming oops coming to fruition.

    Fixed


  • #28
    0utpost31
    Closed Accounts Posts: 469 ✭✭0utpost31


    Ikky Poo, who isn't on bebo nowadays? (good idea for a poll..... maybe)

    Even yore ma is on bebo as well as other things.


  • #29
    Dord
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,817 ✭✭✭✭Dord


    takola wrote: »
    Feeling paranoid are we? :p

    :D

    No, I'm not.. :pac:


  • #30
    0utpost31
    Closed Accounts Posts: 469 ✭✭0utpost31


    genericgoon ya bolix!!


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  • #31
    GirlInterrupted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭GirlInterrupted


    0utpost31 wrote: »
    Dord, they are not from tallaght. But one of them is from Dublin.

    I'm on holidays this week, with nothing to do, and I'd really like to call up to the main culprit, Paddy, and have a few pints.

    With my arse to the wall.

    The worst thing is, I'm bored shitless on my week and a half off work, and there's that mad World Culture Fest in Dun Leery (I couldn't be bothered spelling it - it's something like "loighre" is it??). Since we've all split up after college and gone our ways we usually get togeter and hit random towns and fests around the country for a weekend, tearing then place up. This Culture Festival is a great oppurtunity to get back together for a chat and a laugh.

    Glad ye enjoyed the story. I got a b1 in hons english and it's finally cumming oops coming to fruition.


    Dun Laoghaire. Ring your mate. It may have been a little inconsiderate of him to er, do it, so er, close.... but he's still the same guy he always was.

    Good luck with the really awkward conversation....


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