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Dublin gay bars.

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    #32
    bb1234567
    Registered Users Posts: 5,494 ✭✭✭bb1234567


    BetterThanThou wrote: »
    Alright, pretty much, I'm 18 and only came out a few months ago, I've stayed totally away from the gay scene so far, partially because I'm not sure if I'd like it and partially because none of my friends are willing to go to a gay bar with me. Not because they're homophobic or anything, they're all very supportive, they just don't like the idea of going to a gay bar. But, anyway, I've decided I might as well bite the bullet and head to a gay bar on my own and see what happens, as I've had very little luck meeting anyone through other means. I'm 18 and I like people my own age, I wouldn't go for anyone older than 21 or 22, and even that's pushing it a little. Stereotypical gay men aren't my cup of tea, the type that are super camp and act like girls, don't get me wrong, if that's how they want to act, I fully support them, I'm just not attracted to it and don't tend to get along with people like that.
    So could anyone recommend what gay bar I should go to? I understand gay bars have a host of different people, with varying ages and personalities. But which one is most likely to have gay men my age who aren't overly feminine?

    If I had a euro for every time Ive heard a gay man say this line almost word for word...


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    #33
    bb1234567
    Registered Users Posts: 5,494 ✭✭✭bb1234567


    Aard wrote: »
    Give him a break - he's 18.

    Im also 18 and think its very immature to tar all 'feminine' men with the same brush...as gay people we are a small marginalised enough community without adding further discrimination within our own group.


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    #34
    bb1234567
    Registered Users Posts: 5,494 ✭✭✭bb1234567


    Just a little Samba wrote: »
    Are you a student?
    If so have you joined the LGBT society in your college?
    If not, why?
    Joining the society will help you make some "gay friends" who might be more up for visiting clubs/bars with you and might make the whole experience a bit easier. It's also just a nice support to have with people around your age facing the same issues as yourself.

    Failing that, ask a female friend or two to go with you? Straight females seem to find the whole going to a gay bar thing a lot easier than straight males for some reason.
    Because most women aren't crippled by the same fear of being labelled homosexual as most these macho fellas yanno


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    #35
    qweerty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 367 ✭✭qweerty


    bb1234567 wrote: »
    Im also 18 and think its very immature to tar all 'feminine' men with the same brush...as gay people we are a small marginalised enough community without adding further discrimination within our own group.

    I was saying that at 22. I think it's pretty understandable that one, who has spent much of their adolescence consciously or subconsciously trying to avoid or suppress anything that may link them to their sexuality, would do that. In my case, I have since diagnosed the feelings of unease and displeasure that I had when in the company of camp guys as self-loathing and envy.

    Of course, this is rather patronising to the OP: it mightn't be the case that he has yet to mature.


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    #36
    Aard
    Registered Users Posts: 4,905 ✭✭✭Aard


    bb1234567 wrote: »
    Im also 18 and think its very immature to tar all 'feminine' men with the same brush...as gay people we are a small marginalised enough community without adding further discrimination within our own group.
    I don't think the OP was tarring feminine men with anything tbh. Maybe (understandably?) he isn't sure about what the atmosphere of gay bars is like and is just trying to find people he identifies with.

    I think this hullabaloo says more about the people who take issue with the OP's comment than the OP himself.


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    #37
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    Aard wrote: »
    I don't think the OP was tarring feminine men with anything tbh. Maybe (understandably?) he isn't sure about what the atmosphere of gay bars is like and is just trying to find people he identifies with.

    I think this hullabaloo says more about the people who take issue with the OP's comment than the OP himself.

    It's not really about taking issue with his comments, but trying to educate him.

    Lots of us had really naive ideas about what gay men actually were like when first coming out, or the types of gay people we wanted to associate with, so it's understandable that he thinks that way.

    With the benefit of hindsight we can realise how naive and sometimes stupid those ideas were, and so we are trying do him a favour by letting him know the benefit of our experiences.

    I know my own experiences might have been easier if I had been disabused of my stupid notions about homosexuality at an earlier age.


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