Should I just move on or keep trying?

I met my boyfriend Just over a year ago at a Nathan Carter concert and we got on so well right from the moment our eyes met. It was like we already knew each other. I felt so comfortable with him and he said he felt the same. Our first few months of dating were magical, I never felt so loved or special before. He pulled out all the stops to woo me and sure enough, I was in love with him before too long and we started going out officially. Everything was going great, I had met all his friends and family and even neighbours (who had all heard of me) and I got on well with everybody; Then about 6 months into our relationship, his dad got the devastating news that he had cancer and he had only afew weeks or months to live. Naturally my boyfriend’s world was completely turned upside down and I did my best to comfort him and his family throughout his dads illness and indeed during the funeral which unfortunately was to follow. I supported him every step of the way and continue to do so. I did everything possible to help out and show my support and to make life a little bit easier for them all and why wouldn’t I.
He told me that he was so glad that I had gotten the chance to meet his dad to whom he was very close with and that his dad loved me and told him to “mind her”, before he passed away. Things have been very tough on my boyfriend and on his family since as they come to terms of losing the pillar of the household and now they worry about their mother who lives alone, running the farm and is so lonely without her husband. The one thing she said was that her husband was sorry that he would never get to see his son marrying me. He would have loved to be at our wedding!? She also gave him his grandmother’s engagement ring and said, “you might need this someday”, I don’t know what my boyfriend thought, but I was a bit shocked by this but I took it as a nice compliment and said no more.
I honestly never felt more in love with someone or as close to someone as I felt we had become over the few weeks his dad was ill. I even told him that I found that my feelings had changed, that the love I feel for him, is different to that I felt for anyone else...and to my pleasant surprise, he said he felt the exact same!! So even though there was such sadness and tears all around us , right then, there was a moment of happiness and a ray of brightness about our happy future that seemed certain we would end up together. Even before his dad’s illness, he would often say things like “I’m going to marry you”, “I’m keeping you forever”, “I want you to be my wife”.. etc even in front of his friends!! And sent me a text saying he loved me forever with a little emoticon of a diamond ring.. but one night during the time his dad was sick, his sister had a word in his ear asking him what the story was between us, did he love me & was he in love with me.. he said it was like an interrogation with all the questions she was asking him! He has had so many women before and was in long term relationships before and ended them. So I guess she just wanted to know if he saw me as a keeper or not. Her marriage is breaking down and she is so miserable but doesn’t seem to be doing anything to save it, it’s like she was given up. That night she had a good talking to him about marriage and the future and she also had words separately with me, sometime after.. basically telling me that I need to be sure he’s the one I want and not to end up miserable and lonely like her. Since she had words with him, he never says things like “I’m keeping you forever” anymore and seems more guarded and careful about what he says now.
Shortly after his dad’s passing, his family decided we all needed to get away for a week somewhere, just to get a break from reality for awhile. As it happened, it was our first holiday together and I was so excited! It was all going great and It seemed to be exactly what he & his family needed. However, one night the two of us went out for dinner and drinks and we were having fun at a bar until he spotted one of the bar maids and went over to chat her up. He completely turned his back to me and leaned in over the bar towards her so much, their faces were almost touching. It was like I was never there. It looked like he was desperate to kiss her and his body language just cut me out of the picture altogether. He was engrossed in conversation with her for 10-15 mins before he once turned around to see if I was ok. I was so hurt, but decided not to bother saying anything but to just forget about it as we were on holiday and I didn’t want to ruin it for him or anyone else.
Another day, his mam was joking saying things like “are ye going looking at rings?” etc.. and I just took it in good spirits and laughed along, not making a deal of it or mentioning anything at all about it. But then his little niece came up to me and asked one day, when you & my uncle get married, can I be your flower girl? I laughed and jokingly said “we’ll see what happens” and that was it, no more was said. But she must have been chatting to him again about it when he took her for ice cream one day because she came back to me and said “my uncle said he mightn’t want to marry you”.. he immediately protested that he never said that, but his niece insisted that he did. I know it’s early days etc.. but it was a nice feeling to think someone liked me enough to even consider marriage to me someday.. so when I heard that, it was like getting a thump in the chest. But I never mentioned a thing, I just played it off as if it was never said and everything was fine. But I was hurting so much inside and was fighting to hide it. I realised then that I loved this guy more than I thought, and that I must have actually really started to believe we would be married someday and that my life was finally starting to go to plan and was going somewhere that i could get excited about.
But now everything just seems to be falling apart. He gets upset with me for the silliest of things and gives out to me about it until I end up in tears and feel like the worst person in the world. Lately I have been looking back at our old text messages and thinking about things and I’ve noticed that:
o Doesn’t send any cute “i love you” texts anymore
o Doesn’t acknowledge or respond to the ones I send him
o Flirts with other women on social media and in person (he told me he’d never cheat, but that he would still flirt, even though he knows I don’t like it)
o Keeps in contact with every ex and every girl he has ever kissed
o Doesn’t post anything or mention me in any pictures or comments on social network site. It’s like he wants to give the impression he’s still single.
o Recently registered on a dating site (for work purposes apparently)
o Made me promise that if i ever wanted to cheat, to break up with him first & he promised he’d do the same
o Often mentions how stunning or good looking other women are (I have to ask if I look ok & when i do all i get is “ya, you look nice”..I keep myself immaculate and even when I get a new dress or change my hair, it’s not noticed)
o He recently changed his password to his phone which he keeps on silent when I’m around and only answers texts & snapchats away from me. The way he acts with his phone, I think he’d have a heart attack if I asked could I use it.

I did ask him before if things were ok between us and if he was happy with me and he said he was and why wouldn’t he be, he was the luckiest man alive.. etc. But then he asked me to tell him what was on my mind & even though I didn’t want to say it, I just had to.. I asked him if there was anyone else he was texting or interested in or was there any girls texting him things they shouldn’t be? ....He flipped out! He got so mad and upset, and was like “I can’t believe you think that of me”, “there’s no one else”, “ I’m not texting anybody!”.. He got so annoyed and so upset that I was sorry I said anything and just apologised and told him to forget the whole thing. But Somewhere deep down, I can’t help having doubts.
We are going on a ski holiday soon, his absolute favourite thing to do & It’s my first time ever going skiing, so I am really excited and sent him a cute little message saying how I couldn’t wait to go skiing with him...To which he never acknowledged. Even when I text asking him if he needs anything from the shop, he sees it but doesn’t answer me. It seems like whenever he gets a text or message or snapchat from anyone else, he answers it straight away. So why does he ignore mine?
His group of friends met up with a group of girls from London when skiing last year (I couldn’t get the time off work to go last year) and only the other day he found a girl from that group and became friends on a social network site. I just find it weird that he only went back to look up her up now & for what? If some guy I met about a year ago looked me up like that, I’d assume it was because he wanted to meet up again, maybe even get together? I am probably over reacting on this one, but I just don’t have a good feeling about it. Just last night during a heart to heart conversation, I asked him to tell me if there was something on his mind or if he was bored with me to just tell me and we’ll work it out.. but he said there’s no one else he was texting etc.. and that he would open up more about his grief & the things he’s worrying about anymore.
I see girls names coming up on his phone that I don’t recognise and he never says anything about them & I’m afraid to question in case I drive him away altogether with my suspicions.
He tells me all the time that he loves me and that he can’t believe how lucky he is to have met me and that he loves my family. He always rings me each night before he goes to sleep and he cuddles me and holds my hand all the time when we are together. He takes me out with him & his friends all the time and All his family, his friends and even their girlfriends like me and have commented that I’m the nicest and prettiest girl he has ever been with and they don’t know how he managed to get a girl like me. So I would have thought that comments like that were a good thing, but it seems like it just feeds his ego and he doesn’t think me as being more special.
I am so thoughtful and considerate of him and always show how much I love him and how special he is to me by doing little romantic things, treating him, spoiling him etc.. even though he never treats or spoils me . I’m probably one of the most thoughtful people you could meet, I’m a carer & giver, I don’t expect anything in return, but I do need to feel that I’m appreciated , which rarely happens. I’ve said it to him a few times that he doesn’t appreciate me, he protests he does, but he never show s it. It’s all take, take, take.
Sometimes he asks me why I spoil him and I tell him it’s because I love him so much, which I do. I love him with all my heart and I think I keep on giving and spoiling in the hope that maybe he will spoil me sometime or even just to say thanks , which would be nice. A few weeks ago we had a stupid row because I was out on a hen party, I had too many drinks and at the end of the night I just collapsed into my bed and completely forgot to text or ring my boyfriend to say good night. The first time ever I did something wrong!!! He was absolutely furious with me and gave out to me for a solid 20 mins. After that he went on about me leaving the taps dripping, about me being 5 mins late for dinner (the roads were bad and I had rung to say I’d be late).. all these little things that really don’t deserve to be as big an issue as he was making them out to be. So I got upset in the end,I was so hurt that after all the good things I do for him, the only things he mentions are the stupid little mistakes I made.. so I told him that I wasn’t happy like I used to be, that my feelings were starting to change and that if he needed to cop on and start treating me better because I wasn’t putting up with anymore of his silly nit picking over stupid things. He just broke down and said he was sorry for being so grumpy lately and that he’d understand if I wanted to leave, but that he was just missing his dad so much..so again, I felt like the biggest b*t*h alive and just gave him a huge cuddle and told him everything would be alright...
I’m just so confused they way things are between us at the moment. I don’t think he feels the same about me anymore. I am not sure if I should just walk away or keep trying. I am fully aware that he is still grieving his dad and I support him every day in any way that I can and I think he’s grateful for that, but there must be something I’m not doing right or giving him, when he needs to be flirting with other girls and making me feel like I’m no longer someone he may want to marry, but that I’m just an option until someone better comes along. He has thanked everyone for their help and support during his dad’s illness but he has never thanked me.. even now as I continue to help out and pull my weight as though I was a family member myself, I still don’t get a thank you for that..nothing. It’s like I don’t matter. I just feel so empty and broken. I’m giving my all to someone who I am beginning to believe doesn’t see me as anything special at all, or ever will and it hurts so much.

I don’t know what to do. Am I just wasting my time or am I being selfish to be thinking of myself when he’s in so much pain?