Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

Advice/Criticism/Help Appreciated

  • 18-02-2014 11:55pm
    #1
    Knex*
    Registered Users Posts: 22,477 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey folks,

    Not at all sure as to where I should post this, or even if I should at all. Been playing guitar and signing for years now, but never really wrote anything myself of note.

    Have always had little snippets that would pop into my head from time to time, but even then, I wouldn't write them down or go about trying to get a complete song. Lyrics have always been a bit of a pitfall for me as I've never felt I've had anything really relevant to write about, and always ended up scrapping ideas thinking they were poor, or cheesy, or whatever.

    Recently, I've had this in my head and have been trying to produce something concrete. Now, I'm not doing this for any professional gain, I'm more of a bedroom singer than anything else! (:p) But I would love to have a complete song that is my own, somewhat.

    Anyway, I've thrown up a quick recording (mobile quality, sorry) on soundcloud, and would appreciate any help, criticism, advice that people could provide. Think my voice sounds rather unsure here, but think if I had something solid I would be fine.

    https://soundcloud.com/gf_music/track-1-sample

    Lyrics, which at the moment are just there as basis for people to go on and I would be very willing to change (Just felt the first line suited the melody and went from there, really)
    I made no promises
    I plead my innocence
    As time goes by, we drift apart
    And I do so, with a heavy heart

    I know, I'm not the guy
    I know, what we had wasn't right

    I aint the guy for you
    I'm young, wreckless, I act the fool
    Ain't got my plans
    Ain't got my plans

    I know, I'm not the guy
    I know, what we had wasn't right

    This is just a bit of fun for me, really, but feel free to be as harsh, albeit constructive, as you like. Thanks in advance :)

    Edit: Have changed tone of song a little added new lyrics and a small bridge.

    https://soundcloud.com/gf_music/track-1-remake-extended


Comments

  • #2
    Oink
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 2,150 Mod ✭✭✭✭Oink


    I have no access to Soundcloud (damn if I register on yet another website), but I like the lyrics. They're simple, but I think they work. Many a song became a hit with worse lyrics.


  • #3
    LupeBrown
    Registered Users Posts: 14 ✭LupeBrown


    Very Newton Faulkner, which is a good thing.

    Well done


  • #4
    Knex*
    Registered Users Posts: 22,477 ✭✭✭✭Knex*


    Thanks for the comments guys, much appreciated.

    Never thought I'd ever be compared to Newton Faulkner in my life, delighted. Cheers. :)


  • #5
    CL1970
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭CL1970


    sounds very good!


  • #6
    sephsleft06
    Registered Users Posts: 103 ✭✭sephsleft06


    Link wasn't there,
    Id have like to hear it....going by the lyrics.


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    Knex*
    Registered Users Posts: 22,477 ✭✭✭✭Knex*


    sephsleft06 wrote: »
    Link wasn't there,
    Id have like to hear it....going by the lyrics.

    Hey. Thanks for the post.

    Should be able to find the song here: https://soundcloud.com/gf_music

    Its the first one, No Promises. :)


  • #8
    sephsleft06
    Registered Users Posts: 103 ✭✭sephsleft06


    enjoyed it, melody reminds of something, which I can't think of.
    It's good. voices matches the emotion......(I'm not qualified to critique, though)
    Do you plan to demo it?


  • #9
    Knex*
    Registered Users Posts: 22,477 ✭✭✭✭Knex*


    sephsleft06 wrote: »
    enjoyed it, melody reminds of something, which I can't think of.
    It's good. voices matches the emotion......(I'm not qualified to critique, though)
    Do you plan to demo it?

    Thanks Seph, I appreciate the post.

    I'm not at all sure as to what I am going to do with the song, really. I'm still not even convinced that I like the song myself! As someone who enjoys the English language and used to love short story writing, and have even penned some poetry, the lyrics seem a little simple to me, or something.

    I do think it works though, and everytime I actually try and write something more in depth or complicated, I always struggle to arrange it in a melodic way.

    I think that I'll be putting a lot more time into my music over the next year, or so, and in particular in writing my own stuff. I'll see where that takes me, I suppose.

    I've no experience with recording stuff, or making demos, to be honest.


Advertisement