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What is the path of least resistance to get legally registered as a couple?

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Comments

  • #32
    bee06
    Registered Users Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    Your ideas of marriage are bizarre. People break up because they aren't right for each other not because they are married. Marriage doesn't cause relationship break up.

    As for the messiness of a divorce, it's the same for a non-married couple if they own a house together or even if one of them owns a house that the other had lived in for a certain length of time. Life is messy full stop.


  • #33
    December2012
    Registered Users Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    I don't agree with the Ops idea of marriage but he's entitled to his opinion. Problem is OP, your girlfriend doesn't agree with you.

    It does seem odd that you don't want anybody to know you're married.

    You and your girlfriend are not matched.

    It's possible you could come to an agreement, but I think that's unlikely to happen without the help of a relationship therapist so you can both work out what you actual want without fear of judgment or recrimination.


  • #34
    kandr10
    Registered Users Posts: 1,601 ✭✭✭kandr10


    To be fair to your girlfriend Justin, you've also changed your stance. You both agreed no marriage then you pipe up that you essentially do (albeit without the fuss). Perhaps she just feels no marriage is fine but if you do go down that line that she'd like her family involved and to make an occasion of it. You can't have it both ways.


  • #35
    fits
    Registered Users Posts: 13,239 ✭✭✭✭fits


    December2012 wrote: »
    I It does seem odd that you don't want anybody to know you're married.

    .

    Sounds to me like he has ranted on about marriage for years without really understanding what its about. And doesn't want people to know now as it'd be a bit of an embarrassing climbdown. Just a guess.


  • #36
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    You both appear to be coming from opposite extremes. You want s totally secret marraige to the extent you want witnesses to sign an NDA, and you seem to think she wants a massive wedding.

    As a couple, you either need to find a middle ground that both of you are happy to live with, or part ways. If you had kids, then I'd say try and find that middle ground, but if you plan to be a child free couple then just go to a solicitor and figure out how she gets to inherit your stuff and vice versa.

    Your idea of an NDA is, sorry to say, probably not feasable on several levels. Firstly they are witnesses to a change in legal status of two people, so they HAVE to be able to say, if asked, what they legally witnessed. A marriage is a matter of public record, by law it must take place in a venue open to the public, thats the whole POINT of it. Otherwise its open to bigamy and abuse for visa purposes and more. I highly doubt that asking witnesses to sign an NDA is even legal. Would you want your wife to sign one too??


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  • #37
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    Can't anyone look up marriage certificates anyways?


  • #38
    MrWalsh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,664 ✭✭✭MrWalsh


    Addle wrote: »
    Can't anyone look up marriage certificates anyways?

    Yes, I dont imagine a non disclosure agreement would be considered a legally binding document in this case.

    Its fantasy anyway, its a childish way of trying not to lose face over a mind change re marriage.


  • #39
    MelanieC
    Registered Users Posts: 2,883 ✭✭✭MelanieC


    For God's Sake! You both essentially want the same thing - to be married. You want to make sure she's financially secure & she wants a nice wedding day. So just do it. You may not be into the day itself but it's important to a lot of women & obviously is to her so just suck it up & give her her day.

    It's one day out of your life & then your finances are sorted,she's had her nice wedding - everyone's happy. You say you love your gf,so then put her wishes before yours for one day!

    The kids thing is your real issue tbh coz that's not just a day,that's a lifetime. You should make sure you're both really on the same page there before doing anything at all.


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