insecurity leading to jealousy

hi im a 30 year old guy. im a decent looking guy and always have had a good looking girl. problem is that i am so so insecure. i get jealous at the sight of my girl talking to or looking at another guy. ive had this since my first girlfriend. thing is that it never went away or got any better. i row with her over the silliest of issues. when i am drunk i roar at her and frighten her. i would never lift a finger to her but the rows annoy her and we hang by a thin string all the time. i have lost relationship after relationship rowing over jealous and insecurities. im here asking for anyone to respond who has had the same experience but mastered it and how they did so to give their girl the time of her life. it makes me depressed after rowing a knowing i was so so so wrong. its getting me down. i went to a hypnotherapist but that did not work out. i have been seeing a councillor for CBT but it aint going so good. things are in the same rutt. has anyone had councelling/life changing experiences/hypnotherapy etc and what has it achieved. any positive advice and help much appreciated