How do i stop caring?

Mrs Garth Brooks · 06-08-2011 8:47pm #1

About a year and a half ago, i brought the dog for her yearly check up. I was told that she was overweight. I knew this already. I knew she had to lose weight. The veterinary clinic was a great help, in that we would have weigh ins every 2 or 3 weeks. I got her out walking, and eventually jogging. She reached her target weight last july.

But i knew she wouldn't keep it off for good as it was my job to help her lose weight and i had to move away last september to go back to college. I should say that she is the familys dog but they dont care as 'she's just an animal'. Over the year, i visited a couple of times and noticed the dog was putting on weight again. She was hardly walked, putting the blame on the weather. She was fed crap, twice a day with left overs from the dinner, and uneaten sandwiches from the lad's lunches, and stolen cat food. You can see how she put the weight back on.
Everything i said was always ignored.

I have been home for the past month and i have been walking her everyday. She's not losing weight at all. As its being cancelled out with the food she's eating. My family doesn't care. The dog has had problems with her back legs in that she would often start limping. The extra weight doesn't help. I keep saying to them at home, if they want to save on her vet bills, to put her onto a diet. But its like talking to a brick wall.

Im in tears here watching her limp but what can i do and leaving her again in september to probably come home to an elephant or a dead dog. I love her so much. She's my best friend but this is killing me. How do i stop caring? How do i get through to them?

Sorry for ranting.

Honey-ec · 06-08-2011 8:59pm

You can't stop caring - she's your dog and you love her.

The only thing you can do is keep trying to get through to your family. Would it be possible to make one of them come to the vet with you next time and ask the vet to give a very stern lecture on how bad it is for her to be overweight? Sometimes the guilt factor is the most effective.

If they won't walk her out of laziness, then they're not likely to start, but changing her diet would require no extra effort on their part. Maybe just keep pointing this out and hope to god the message gets through.

You really have my sympathy. They're killing her slowly and you feel like you're banging your head off the wall with them.

snowy two · 06-08-2011 9:00pm

Did you try to get her swimming really good for her losing weight.

Mrs Garth Brooks · 06-08-2011 9:15pm

We live right beside the sea and when there's no one on the beach i often let her have a run around and she will only go in as far as her knees and back out again. But im going to try and get her in further sometime this week. Il strip off and walk into the sea with her. Would that be save? Walking into the sea with a lead on the dog?

Honey-ec · 06-08-2011 9:40pm

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

We live right beside the sea and when there's no one on the beach i often let her have a run around and she will only go in as far as her knees and back out again. But im going to try and get her in further sometime this week. Il strip off and walk into the sea with her. Would that be save? Walking into the sea with a lead on the dog?

Once the sea is calm and you take it slowly, it should be ok. Keep the lead very short so you can't get tangled in it. A woman on a forum I used to frequent taught her Boxer how to swim by always getting into the water with her and supporting the dog's belly until she was confident.

Latatian · 06-08-2011 10:06pm

Ah, what a familiar problem. I went around and shouted at everyone, and refused to let anyone feed them but me. It worked for a year, now she's on the diet that had her losing weight steadily last year- and she put on 2lb in a week. I think my constant giving out wore off.

Mine didn't reach her target weight before I went to college- not surprising since her target weight was some 24lbs under where she was. At least you're getting her early.

Mrs Garth Brooks · 06-08-2011 10:43pm

Latatian wrote: »

Ah, what a familiar problem. I went around and shouted at everyone, and refused to let anyone feed them but me. It worked for a year, now she's on the diet that had her losing weight steadily last year- and she put on 2lb in a week. I think my constant giving out wore off.

Mine didn't reach her target weight before I went to college- not surprising since her target weight was some 24lbs under where she was. At least you're getting her early.

Im not getting her early. She piled all the weight back on when i was away. I have been at them for the past 18 months. Its tiring.

Seriously i dont know what to do, but give up. I have been home for the past month. I walk her but gave up lecturing them about giving her scraps. What's the point? I done all the work last year and just so tired of it.

Im sitting here and looking at a bag of food online and a new bed for the dog to stop her from jumping up and help her to save her legs. She doesn't have a bed, she jumps up and down from the couch or people's beds. All that jumping isn't good either.

I dont know, what's the point anymore? The food, what good is it going to do her if i dont have the help of the rest of the family?
And the bed, well i bought stuff over the years, toys, blankets, cushion beds, leads. They get lost around the house, i dont know why, it cant just disappear. But i live with people who throws stuff out. Even bought the dog her own food scales last year, that was a waste. It was thrown out as it wasn't used during the year. Just the thought of buying stuff again. I might as well open the bin and throw in €50. Its the same thing. And well, its now i need the money.

Sorry for ranting, but 18 months trying to get through to people. Its not easy.

gypsy_rose · 06-08-2011 10:58pm

Any chance you could find a flat that allows pets and bring her with you?

Really sorry to hear about this.

Zapperzy · 06-08-2011 11:26pm

I know exactly how you feel. 'Don't give the dog toast' 'Ahh but he likes it with extra butter and marmelade' said while handing the dog toast with butter and marmelade. :rolleyes: I can talk all day, tell her all about how he has a knee problem (luxating patella) and while it's currently causing him no trouble it may start to cause him immense pain and then a very expensive and painful operation may be needed if it gets worse, even the vet told her that keeping his weight down will decrease his chances of his knee getting worse. And guess who still gets toast with butter and marmelade every morning. :rolleyes:

Although I am in charge of feeding so he doesn't get a lot of scraps given to him it's the odd treat of toast corners and ends of biscuits that all add up.
I read a suggestion on here ages ago and thought it quite good, get a bucket and every time you feel like giving the dog the scraps put them into the bucket instead, it's to show how much exactly all those little bits add up.

Graces7 · 07-08-2011 12:01am

OP; look after you, please. You can only do what you can do.

Latatian · 07-08-2011 1:40am

Have you been told you're 'obsessed' yet for complaining when the dog gains weight and you see someone giving him a sausage?

jets799 · 07-08-2011 3:09am

oh you poor thing its so hard when you put in such hard work and someone else brakes it all...:mad:
cant thay see what harm thay are doing

star-pants · 07-08-2011 9:24am

I can understand your frustration.
Sometimes it can be like that in my house 'ah she loves the butter/philadelphia' etc.

I just had to get really strict and give out to people. I also said that if they wanted to give the dog a treat/bit of scrap, ok, but only one bit. So if someone gave the dog a treat they had to tell everyone else they'd done it that day so no one else would.
Because what you get is, everyone giving 'a little treat' but it all adds up.

I think the idea of the bucket is good, show them how much they're actually giving the dog a day, get those posters that show what half a slice of toast equals to a dog (I've seen them in the vets maybe ask them where you could get some) and plaster them about the place. I know it's hard because you've done all this before and they just revert back to over feeding the dog.
They need a reality shock by the sounds of it. Can you get them to come with you and the dog to the vets and have the vet eat them out of it?

boomerang · 07-08-2011 1:57pm

Can't add any further advice OP, just wanted to say I really feel for you, in the circumstances.

Tranceypoo · 07-08-2011 8:35pm

boomerang wrote: »

Can't add any further advice OP, just wanted to say I really feel for you, in the circumstances.

+1 I feel for you I really do, you must be so frustrated, your family sound like my in-laws who have 2 fat dogs 'well they're fat because they're neutered/spayed' (which I literally made them do, a male and a female, neither was done, don't start me off on that one), no they're fat because you feed them crap and never ever take them for walks. I'm already known locally as 'the girl who's always out walking her dogs and apparently she lets them inside the house, can you imagine'!!!

I don't know what to advise you because it sounds like you've tried everything to get through to them but if their attitude is 'it's just a dog' I don't know how you can change that. Good luck, don't stop caring whatever you do, just keep trying, frustrating as it may be.

How do i stop caring?

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