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Boyfriend is 'feeling numb'

  • 31-03-2008 3:13pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My boyfriend said he has been feeling numb lately, but says he's still crazy about me. He said it happened with his last girlfriend too and he agreed after I asked, that she held it against him and things went bad from that point onwards in their relationship. I'm trying to be as understanding as much as possible about this, but he said he couldn't find the words to describe it. We go to colleges at two different ends of the country and haven't seen each other in a while+ he said that might be the reason. He doesn't want to break up though and was really sweets to say he's never met anyone like me and doesn't want anyone else. He said he thinks the numbness might have come from trying to hold back from falling for me too fast and some walls he has built up. Can anyone help me understand this 'numbness' anymore please?. It might be from not physically seeing each other. I don't know. Or if anyone has experienced something similar any advice would be great. When I mentioned breaking up, he really doesn't want to. He wants to try to work things out and so do I.


Comments

  • #2
    aidan24326
    Registered Users Posts: 5,925 ✭✭✭aidan24326


    You would need to elaborate on what it is he means by 'feeling numb'?? I would take from that that he doesn't feel as strongly for you anymore and/or is losing interest due to the distance and not seeing much of each other. If you both really want to make it work I'd suggest making more time to see each other if at all possible. 'Numb' is an odd way to put it, tbh it seems to me that he's losing interest but doesn't want to hurt you at the same time.


  • #3
    _hybrid_
    Registered Users Posts: 47 ✭_hybrid_


    Feeling numb screams depression to me but i could be wrong.

    If he's being kind of emotionally bland, not laughing or physically expressing his emotions, i'd say he is. if he's depressed he has probably lost interest in sex(or has problems getting an erection so blames something else)

    I know what its like, when your depressed you feel like you know exactly what you want and how you want to act but simply can't do it. the fact that he likes you so much could be feeding into his depression/withdrawal from you.


    If you think its depression, talk first and then suggest he go to his gp


  • #4
    conbob
    Registered Users Posts: 175 ✭✭conbob


    college isnt on on weekends. you guys could meet up half way.probably in athlone for the weekends. that way you'd still be seeing each other a lot. the most important thing is that you both want to work on it. as long as thats there you'll be fine :)


  • #5
    AARRRGH
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭AARRRGH


    He feels numb in general or just about you? Long distance relationships generally don't work long term (note to people who are going to shout "I'M IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP AND MY FELLA LOVES ME". I know there are exceptions.)

    If you could elaborate exactly what the feeling numb is, with some examples, that would be very helpful.


  • #6
    Creachadóir
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 206 ✭✭Creachadóir


    Do people often split up with their girlfriend if they get depressed or would they lean on her more?


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  • #7
    Carrigart Exile
    Closed Accounts Posts: 994 ✭✭✭Carrigart Exile


    A relationship changes from the heart skipping lust to the solid love for each other. However, the first stage is highly addictive and it sounds to me like your boyfriend is in that trap that believing only the overwhelming crush of first love is how he should feel.


  • #8
    chuci
    Closed Accounts Posts: 938 ✭✭✭chuci


    op you will have to tell what he feels about feeling numb. id understand it as he feels depressed about everything and not just you. long distance relationships dont tend to work out in the long term though.maybe he needs to go to talk to a professional?is he happy in college and with his course? what about the weekends can ye not meet up? like spend a weekend together in dublin or galway (somewhere in the middle) and just chill out?


  • #9
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    College and long distance relationships are without a doubt the hardest thing to do. I speak form experiance here. Because at the weekends you need to work to get money, but also see the woman you love.

    I went through a similar situation with you and through hard work it worked. I went through the numness he's telling you about, at least it sounds the same, i was anxious i didn't know what i wanted to do with my life. Was i doing the right coarse, then going out at during the week meant i was hanging out with couples and not her!
    But then when i was with her i was thinking am i happy.

    You have to work hard on it, spending time together if you can, working out weekends to meet around college and part time jobs! (if you guys have them)

    Long distance relationships work, but only if you put in the time and energy. I think he needs some decent time with you.

    My 2c worth.
    Hope im correct!


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