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A tricky one - Help Appreciated

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  • 14-09-2014 11:09pm
    #1
    djburchgrove
    Closed Accounts Posts: 473 ✭✭


    Problem Solved!


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    #2
    nc19
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,395 ✭✭✭nc19


    djburchgrove wrote: »
    Hi guys, don't wanna bang on too long about this. Have consulted help from friends, just nice to get a stranger's/anon perspective.

    Long and Short of it:

    So I lived in Canada for 2 years, met a great girl, she had a boyfriend whole time, we became good friends who flirted and got on really well. I've been back in Ireland a year but we've stayed in touch.

    Now boyfriend is gone. First thing she did when they broke up was tell me, and then planned a trip to come to Ireland in October and visit me (this all happened a few weeks back).

    Her dates got pushed back a little, I found ridiculously cheap flights back to Canada for a 10 day trip and I'm going to surprise her for her Birthday in a few weeks. I also have a lot of other people to see over there so killing a few birds with one stone.

    We had a phone call, she insinuated she was coming to see me alone, with Romantic intentions. But we haven't spoke much since, and I don't know if it was just a rebound reaction. She has a lot of stuff going on, so I kind of understand the not much contact bit.

    Am I insane? Would the surprise be a bit overwhelming? Would it look like I'm assuming something too much?

    Any input appreciated!



    Carpe diem


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    #3
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    How about picking up the phone, telling her that you'll be in Canada for 10 days and arrange to see her. That way you'll not end up with egg on your face if it turns out she's not interested any more. Imagine turning up on her doorstep and finding out that she has a new boyfriend who happens to be visiting at the time? It'll also give you a chance to gauge how things are and how she feels now. Good luck!


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    #4
    djburchgrove
    Closed Accounts Posts: 473 ✭✭djburchgrove


    Stavro Mueller wrote: »
    How about picking up the phone, telling her that you'll be in Canada for 10 days and arrange to see her. That way you'll not end up with egg on your face if it turns out she's not interested any more. Imagine turning up on her doorstep and finding out that she has a new boyfriend who happens to be visiting at the time? It'll also give you a chance to gauge how things are and how she feels now. Good luck!

    I was thinking this is the smarter call of practice. Mainly I don't want to make her feel awkward and thus have to feel awkward coming to Ireland, a trip she has been looking forward to.

    there's 2 schools of thougt:

    1: Do the surprise, bowl her over, it's amazing and she loves it like the movies (she's an actress)

    or

    2: Be smart, tell her I'm coming, meet up once or twice, Weigh it up, and pick up the battle on Irish shores.


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    #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    djburchgrove wrote: »
    Am I insane? Would the surprise be a bit overwhelming? Would it look like I'm assuming something too much?

    Any input appreciated!

    Yes. But we are all a little insane. Having said that; me personally - I think it's possibly a better thought in your head than it may play out in reality. It could very well be overwhelming for her. Surprises are all well and good; but maybe not so much when sh*t is unclear.

    I could be wrong; but I'd be inclined to say let her come to you. She has made her intentions to come and see you clear. Is this not great? You going over unannounced may upset the rhythm. October isn't so long away. Just my opinion.


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    #6
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    Maybe then the most considerate thing is not to spring the surprise on her? If it goes wrong you'll have embarrassed yourself, her and ruined the trip to Ireland.


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    #7
    Da Shins Kelly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,048 ✭✭✭Da Shins Kelly


    Yeah, I definitely wouldn't go springing something like that on her unexpectedly. It's potentially a very embarrassing situation for both of you if it turns out you've picked her up wrong since you left Canada. I think it would be better to just tell her that you'll be in Canada, and maybe you could hang out. That way, if it's not what you thought it's not going to be really awkward.


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    #8
    GreeBo
    Registered Users Posts: 27,031 ✭✭✭✭GreeBo


    If you are going to go anyway (to see others) Id ring her when you are there and see what she's up to


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    #9
    djburchgrove
    Closed Accounts Posts: 473 ✭✭djburchgrove


    Yeah thanks everyone, I told her last night and she's happy I didn't surprise her, she's making sure she's booking time off work to spend time with me and invited me to stay with her so I'm pretty happy with that result to be honest.

    Cheers everyone :)


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