Think son is on asd spectrum... Me too??

trixychic · 29-11-2015 9:58pm #1

Ok I may be in the wrong place. If so mods feel free to move me.

Also I am very new to all this so please excuse my ignorance.

So myself and oh have been going through the motions over the last yr to get our son (now 6yrs old) to be assessed for autism/aspergers/add or something along those lines. We don't know exactly what it is but we are aware of something MILD there. We want to catch it early.

This is not a problem. We both have spoken about it and couldn't care if he has something or even what it is. Once we can get him the appropriate help to let him get through life happy.

The thing is.... alot of the traits being called upon to be looked at that he has??? I have them too.

My brother and sisters were all tested through the yrs. One of my sisters is dyslexic, ones dyspraxic and my brother has very mild autism... But I never thought about myself and if I have something.

Now I am worried if I could have something. Docs have diagnosed me with depression and generalised anxiety disorder.... But what if it's just down to something else??

Am I too old to be tested?? Am I over reacting??? I'm 25.

hairyslug · 29-11-2015 10:05pm

We have 2 (possibly 3, waiting on results) on the spectrum,both moderate to severe. Both myself and my wife have often wondered if we were on the spectrum somewhat,both very mild however. My wife has struggled with depression and I enjoy all the wonders that come with social anxiety.

Anyway, we both look at it that we have got this far in life (not much older than you) that there is no need to get tested.

DM addict · 29-11-2015 10:15pm

trixychic wrote: »

Ok I may be in the wrong place. If so mods feel free to move me.

Also I am very new to all this so please excuse my ignorance.

So myself and oh have been going through the motions over the last yr to get our son (now 6yrs old) to be assessed for autism/aspergers/add or something along those lines. We don't know exactly what it is but we are aware of something MILD there. We want to catch it early.

This is not a problem. We both have spoken about it and couldn't care if he has something or even what it is. Once we can get him the appropriate help to let him get through life happy.

The thing is.... alot of the traits being called upon to be looked at that he has??? I have them too.

My brother and sisters were all tested through the yrs. One of my sisters is dyslexic, ones dyspraxic and my brother has very mild autism... But I never thought about myself and if I have something.

Now I am worried if I could have something. Docs have diagnosed me with depression and generalised anxiety disorder.... But what if it's just down to something else??

Am I too old to be tested?? Am I over reacting??? I'm 25.

So, a couple of things.

One, there is an ASD parenting forum where you'll find people going through similar things: they should be able to give you some advice with the process for your son, if you need it.

Two, there is such a thing as the broader autism phenotype (http://www.autismresearchcentre.com/project_4_phenotype): basically, parents/siblings of people with ASD tend to share some of their traits, often at a subclinical level. So your child might struggle with changes in routine, and you might also prefer it when things go according to schedule. Autism is a polygenetic disorder - so it's caused by the interactions of a variety of genes and the epigenetic environment. Sharing some of those traits is not a bad thing, particularly as it might help you understand your child's behaviour and in turn act as a better advocate/support for him.

Thirdly, it is not impossible that you are on the spectrum and have not been diagnosed until now. Can I ask your gender? There are lower diagnosis rates for ASD in females, and it's increasingly thought that this is because autism presents differently (http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/introduction/gender-and-autism/preparing-girls-for-adulthood.aspx) and so often slip through the net.

It is possible to get a diagnosis as a young adult - but it's up to you how useful this might be. If you think that the shared traits you're noticing have affected your mental health in the past, then maybe it's worth talking to your GP.

Best of luck, however things work out.

trixychic · 29-11-2015 11:13pm

DM addict wrote: »

So, a couple of things.

One, there is an ASD parenting forum where you'll find people going through similar things: they should be able to give you some advice with the process for your son, if you need it.

Two, there is such a thing as the broader autism phenotype (http://www.autismresearchcentre.com/project_4_phenotype): basically, parents/siblings of people with ASD tend to share some of their traits, often at a subclinical level. So your child might struggle with changes in routine, and you might also prefer it when things go according to schedule. Autism is a polygenetic disorder - so it's caused by the interactions of a variety of genes and the epigenetic environment. Sharing some of those traits is not a bad thing, particularly as it might help you understand your child's behaviour and in turn act as a better advocate/support for him.

Thirdly, it is not impossible that you are on the spectrum and have not been diagnosed until now. Can I ask your gender? There are lower diagnosis rates for ASD in females, and it's increasingly thought that this is because autism presents differently (http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/introduction/gender-and-autism/preparing-girls-for-adulthood.aspx) and so often slip through the net.

It is possible to get a diagnosis as a young adult - but it's up to you how useful this might be. If you think that the shared traits you're noticing have affected your mental health in the past, then maybe it's worth talking to your GP.

Best of luck, however things work out.

I'm female alright. I don't know if it does effect me in day to day stuff. I have problems focusing and can switch topics fast as lightning in conversations without meaning to. I'm a major day dreamer when I'm in the shower or sitting by myself.

trixychic · 29-11-2015 11:15pm

hairyslug wrote: »

We have 2 (possibly 3, waiting on results) on the spectrum,both moderate to severe. Both myself and my wife have often wondered if we were on the spectrum somewhat,both very mild however. My wife has struggled with depression and I enjoy all the wonders that come with social anxiety.

Anyway, we both look at it that we have got this far in life (not much older than you) that there is no need to get tested.

Glad to know I'm not the only one. I can understand where your comng from. I don't know yet if I want to get tested. Something I need to think about more I suppose .

CiDeRmAn · 29-11-2015 11:49pm

My son is on the spectrum and many of his traits I recognise in myself and the challenges I had growing up and as an adult.
It puts me in an excellent position to help him though, as I have insight into the condition from the inside out, instead of just an education in the management of such conditions, which I also have as being on the nurses register in the field of intellectual disability with 25 years experience.
In fact, that I was, with no support, able to finish school, get professional qualification, have relationships, marriage and a son and a home of our own gives my wife and I hope that my son will enjoy a rich and full life and be denied nothing.
So, treat the chance you too might be on the spectrum as a plus, it'll inform your own approaches to your childs diagnosis and be a better, more understanding support for when they need it.

trixychic · 30-11-2015 12:00am

It's funny actually. I have 2 boys (aged 6 who's suspected asd and age 3)

I sometimes could swear my 3 yr old is out to get me. Ha ha he loves the fight and the mischief. I find it easier to understand my 6 yr old.... so far anyways. He doesn't fight and is so sensitive and kind. My 3 yr old is your atypical "look at me" toddler who cracks me up but has fun pushing my buttons too.

Love them both to bits. But they are both so different.

CelticRambler · 30-11-2015 12:17am

trixychic wrote: »

This is not a problem. We both have spoken about it and couldn't care if he has something or even what it is. Once we can get him the appropriate help to let him get through life happy.

...

Now I am worried if I could have something. Docs have diagnosed me with depression and generalised anxiety disorder.... But what if it's just down to something else??

Sounds very similar to the situation in our family. Our first-born is on the AS spectrum but we opted out of getting him formally diagnosed because we didn't want him marked out as any more different than he already was. All the "appropriate help" we needed was an explanation of where he was on the spectrum and what he needed to know/be taught to help him cope with stressful situations. Although always the odd-ball, he went through main-stream school, including changing countries, without any real problems.

However, the same wasn't true for MrsCR, and she found parenting first, then a change of lifestyle, really hard and ultimately disastrous for our family life. Even though the main sign was a (probable) extended and un-noticed post-natal depression, it became clear that she had/has AS, and at a higher level on the spectrum than our son. As DM addict says, AS is generally thought of as a "boy thing" but there are undoubtedly many AS girls who go unrecognised too because their "funny" behaviours are different and easier to disguise.

There's a guy in Cambridge (Simon Baron-Cohen) who's done a lot of work on autism in females and it'd be worth reading some of articles (or articles that reference him) to see how your strengths and weaknesses match up.
Edit: here's a self-help test based on his work - http://www.aspergerstestsite.com/75/autism-spectrum-quotient-aq-test/ Like all of these things, you've got to answer honestly!

trixychic · 30-11-2015 3:19am

CelticRambler wrote: »

There's a guy in Cambridge (Simon Baron-Cohen) who's done a lot of work on autism in females and it'd be worth reading some of articles (or articles that reference him) to see how your strengths and weaknesses match up.
!

Would you believe someone has already pointed me in his direction. Only just beginning to look at him now but was given a book id his by my neighbour. It's a long tedious read but I'll get through it soon. Thanks for the recommendation. Solidifies my neighbours point in how good he is.

CelticRambler · 30-11-2015 11:05am

Don't be wearing yourself out with long tedious reads!

One of the biggest problems I've had to face, both in respect of MrsCR and SonNo.1 is other people not accepting that they've got it, and expecting them to react to things in a normal way. That transfers to me too, e.g. my mother is convinced that I'm demonically strict as a father because she can't understand that SonNo.1 needed simple black-and-white discipline.

See if you can get some books written by people with AS (not autism) to see how they see the world, and how it doesn't sees them back!

Think son is on asd spectrum... Me too??

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