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We secretly love farts!!!

  • 11-04-2008 2:42am
    #1
    gloobag
    Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭


    Do ya ever notice, that when you or someone else slices off a serious slice of Kilmeadan, and you and your mates are all falling around the place saying things like:
    "You rotten cnut" or
    "What the fcuk died in your ass" or
    "Who dropped a depth charge" or
    "The Devil's just aborted a poop baby in your stink hole",
    That you're secretly sitting there still sniffing it, and think to yourself "Sweet holy fcuk but that smells good!!!"???

    You know you are.

    No?

    Just me then :(


«1

Comments

  • #2
    Xavi6
    Registered Users Posts: 40,858 ✭✭✭✭Xavi6


    That's three fart threads this week. Exciting stuff.

    I just let a whopper by the way and I love it!


  • #3
    Jigsaw
    Registered Users Posts: 1,508 ✭✭✭Jigsaw


    If you hold your naked arse against an empty wooden wardrobe and fart you get a cool effect. Pure amplification. Much like how an acoustic guitar works.

    Anyway, can't chat must meet the girlfriend. Erm............oh wait.


  • #4
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Xavi6 wrote: »
    That's three fart threads this week.
    Yeah, AH is definitely going down the toilet recently ... :(


  • #5
    Cool_CM
    Registered Users Posts: 4,937 ✭✭✭Cool_CM


    Generally yes, but today it's been chemical warfare, I even managed to gas myself a few times which just goes to show that everybody doesn't love their own brand all of the time. Still i was in some way proud that I was the cause of that putrid stench I left wafting on a German S-Bahn, serves them right, it was their food that caused it!:cool:


  • #6
    AckwelFoley
    Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    if AH gets any worse im going to lose my title as boards worst poster.. then id have to delete my sig. :mad:

    These threads for the cuckoos nest.


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  • #7
    Cool_CM
    Registered Users Posts: 4,937 ✭✭✭Cool_CM


    snyper wrote: »
    if AH gets any worse im going to lose my title as boards worst poster.. then id have to delete my sig. :mad:
    Aye, tis slim pickings at the moment!


  • #8
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    tandoori bite in richmond street provides the best ammunition for haymakers. but the funniest type of fart has to be the 'crop duster', you start farting at one end of the room and finish at the other, thus giving everyone in the room a taste of your guff


  • #9
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    snyper wrote: »
    These threads for the cuckoos nest.
    Nooooooooo!!11!! :mad:

    They're way below tCN standard as well!


  • #10
    Cool_CM
    Registered Users Posts: 4,937 ✭✭✭Cool_CM


    Plus who are we to deny the people who come on when they start work in the morning the opportunity to see what madness went on whilst they were asleep?


  • #11
    Xavi6
    Registered Users Posts: 40,858 ✭✭✭✭Xavi6


    snyper wrote: »
    These threads for the cuckoos nest.

    LEAVE tCN ALONE!!!!


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  • #12
    Overheal
    Registered Users Posts: 81,598 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Only when I've eaten a lot of dairy or cooked Mac and Cheese, for which my own recipe requires 800g of cheese and 1-2 pints of milk :)

    I've never dispersed such wonderfully airborne pathogen :D


  • #13
    FlutterinBantam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,576 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    Personally I find that a rich kebab with plenty of trimmings usually partaken after a good few pints builds up a lot of gas in the gut.In fact I have noticed and experienced a particular fart which usually accompanies such an eating regime.

    It's called the "string of pearls".
    it's as if each fart was individually packaged and exits the poop hole in orderly manner. One can get up to 10 or 12 pearls off without drawing attention to the noise.
    I find it wise to leave the area ,especially at a party, as the peg is pretty foul.


  • #14
    Xavi6
    Registered Users Posts: 40,858 ✭✭✭✭Xavi6


    The best and most disgusting farts come the morning after a night on the Guinness. The black stuff plays havok with my system and the stench produced is quite unbearable. Love it!


  • #15
    s_carnage
    Registered Users Posts: 2,672 ✭✭✭s_carnage


    Xavi6 wrote: »
    The best and most disgusting farts come the morning after a night on the Guinness. The black stuff plays havok with my system and the stench produced is quite unbearable. Love it!

    How true!!! Guinness should really come with a warning.

    :eek:Beware following day rancid side-effects!!!!:eek:


  • #16
    FunkZ
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,179 ✭✭✭FunkZ


    A few pints of Bulmers, a pizza and the next day I'll be on fire!


  • #17
    Defenestrate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 442 ✭✭Defenestrate


    Ah excellent! I was just thinking, there really aren't enough fart-related threads these days. :rolleyes:


  • #18
    Xavi6
    Registered Users Posts: 40,858 ✭✭✭✭Xavi6


    Defenestrate wrote: »
    Ah excellent! I was just thinking, there really aren't enough fart-related threads these days. :rolleyes:

    Here's a revolutionary thought, if you don't like the thread then don't post in it.


  • #19
    javaboy
    Registered Users Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy


    Xavi6 wrote: »
    Here's a revolutionary thought, if you don't like the thread then don't post in it.

    Miaow! Saucer of milk for Xavi ;)


    Anyway we all know dogs have the smelliest farts especially when eating wet canned food. So just eat some Pedigree Chum for a rancid bum. Top breathers recommend against it!


  • #20
    Defenestrate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 442 ✭✭Defenestrate


    Xavi6 wrote: »
    Here's a revolutionary thought, if you don't like the thread then don't post in it.

    Nah, the wheel was a revolutionary thought, putting a filling in between bread to make a sandwich was a revolutionary thought, the industrial revolution, now THAT was a revolutionary thought.

    Acting like a boards tough guy... nah that's just sad. :p


  • #21
    Xavi6
    Registered Users Posts: 40,858 ✭✭✭✭Xavi6


    Defenestrate wrote: »
    Nah, the wheel was a revolutionary thought, putting a filling in between bread to make a sandwich was a revolutionary thought, the industrial revolution, now THAT was a revolutionary thought.

    Acting like a boards tough guy... nah that's just sad. :p

    No acting tough about it. Many a thread gets spoiled by people coming in with their 'this is a stupid thread' bullshit. What's the point?


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  • #22
    AckwelFoley
    Registered Users Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    ....thing is.

    After a feed of drink.. you feel a whopper comming on..

    You need to bve careful.. the whopper might be a shoite in disguise.

    Nothing worse than soiling your togs


  • #23
    Defenestrate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 442 ✭✭Defenestrate


    Xavi6 wrote: »
    No acting tough about it. Many a thread gets spoiled by people coming in with their 'this is a stupid thread' bullshit. What's the point?

    OK, sorry if I offended you but what IS up with all these fart themed threads recently? Are Abrekebabra running secret special deals or something? :D


  • #24
    Cool_CM
    Registered Users Posts: 4,937 ✭✭✭Cool_CM


    Defenestrate wrote: »
    OK, sorry if I offended you but what IS up with all these fart themed threads recently? Are Abrekebabra running secret special deals or something? :D

    Nope but Supermacs have that whole snack box thing running... it can't be a coincidence


  • #25
    Defenestrate
    Closed Accounts Posts: 442 ✭✭Defenestrate


    Cool_CM wrote: »
    Nope but Supermacs have that whole snack box thing running... it can't be a coincidence

    The fools! Did they not consider the implications of this on greenhouse gases??! :mad:


  • #26
    whiskeyman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,564 ✭✭✭✭whiskeyman


    In primary school, I used to sit beside this lad with the most woeful farts ever, but it was like a party trick!
    He used to sit on his wooly hat, and let one off... then inform the whole class, then pass around the hat so we could all have a whiff of the goodness...


  • #27
    s_carnage
    Registered Users Posts: 2,672 ✭✭✭s_carnage


    whiskeyman wrote: »
    In primary school, I used to sit beside this lad with the most woeful farts ever, but it was like a party trick!
    He used to sit on his wooly hat, and let one off... then inform the whole class, then pass around the hat so we could all have a whiff of the goodness...

    Don't tell me ye used to smell it voluntarily!??!!? :eek:


  • #28
    Zzippy
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 14,166 Mod ✭✭✭✭Zzippy


    Ah its the old reliable "Farts are like children........ you love your own but can't stand other people's".

    So true... and Guinness does it for me too. Going on the beer tonight. Looking forward to tomorrow already :D


  • #29
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    snyper wrote: »
    ....thing is.

    After a feed of drink.. you feel a whopper comming on..

    You need to bve careful.. the whopper might be a shoite in disguise.

    Nothing worse than soiling your togs

    indeed, nothing worse than gambling on the fart lottery and losing big


  • #30
    Ross_Mahon
    Registered Users Posts: 2,283 ✭✭✭Ross_Mahon


    Try this

    Say "do ya smell that?" make it look like you farted, but you haven't.

    People will hold their nose's and say "awhh the smell! thats horrible"

    I've done this, and people seem to think that there's a smell? jerks :pac:


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  • #31
    Drift
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,395 ✭✭✭Drift


    Jigsaw wrote: »
    If you hold your naked arse against an empty wooden wardrobe and fart you get a cool effect. Pure amplification. Much like how an acoustic guitar works.

    WARNING: I have found through painful experience that lady friends appear to be less than impressed by the subsequent skid marks on the door of the wardrobe. Hence I would recommend only partaking in this manoeuvre from inside the wardrobe.*



    *Recording the duration you can stay inside the wardrobe and beating your personal best is an optional fringe benefit.


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