Favourite Simpsons Quote

qweqwe · 14-12-2005 1:55pm

it was the best of times, it was the blurst of times?!? You stupid monkey....

plastic membrane · 23-12-2005 1:34pm

At the end of "Death Drives A Stick"

Wiggum looks at Snake unconscious. Picks up stolen lottery tickets

Wiggum: Well, looks like you just bought yourself a ticket. To Jail.
Lou: He's unconscious Chief.
Wiggum: Well they can stilll hear things!

Ravage1616 · 25-12-2005 5:01am

It's in my sig!

tbh · 04-01-2006 5:54pm

My favourite quote from the Simpsons:

Krusty (in the biblical episode): "Now I'm not saying Rachel is easy, but before she moved to Sodom, it was known for it's POTTERY!"

Max_Damage · 04-01-2006 11:00pm

Mine would be:

Eastern European Car Salesman: "It will get 400 hectares on a single tank of kerosene!"

Can't remember the rest of that episode though, only that bit.

Hilarious!

Demetrius · 17-01-2006 8:40pm

woosaysdan wrote:

that duck is drinking all the water!!! (the episode wherre herb creates the baby translator)

This thread is great! My favourite moment/line is when Itchy and Scratchy is replaced (I think it may be the Gonzo episode) by an Eastern European cartoon. After seeing it, Krustys eyes pan towards us and he says "what the hell was that? I mean...Hey-hey...". Classic.

Kojak · 18-01-2006 10:33am

From the episode where Homer runs for sanitation comissioner:

'Don't you deserve better than the best?'

Its only one of many great Simpsons quotes.

d-arke · 19-01-2006 11:09am

Had a quick look through and didn't catch any of Groundskeeper Willie, So I salute the fellow Jock:

Skinner: "Willie. Go into the vent and get him."
Willie: "What!? Have ye gone waxy in your beester? I canna fit in the wee vent, Ye Croquet-Playin' Mint-Muncher!"
Skinner: "Grease yourself up and go in you.. guff speaking work slacker."
Willie: "Ooh. Good comeback."

"Now look boy. If your da goes ga-ga, you just use that 'shin' of yours to call me and I'll come a-runnin'. But don't be readin' my mind between four and five. That's Willie's time."

Skinner: "Would the world judge me harshly if I threw away the key?"
Willie: "No. But the PTA would tear you a new arse."
Skinner: "Wise councel, William. But the potty talk adds nothing. "
Willie: "Aye sir, you bath-taking, underpants-wearing, lily-hugger."

"Get your haggis, right here! Chopped heart and lungs boiled in a wee sheep's stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds. Good for what ails ya!"

"There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman"

hamsterboy · 19-01-2006 11:55am

Kent Brockman - Now it's time for our weather report with Arnie Pie and "Arnie in the Sky" Genius!!!!!

Fitzo · 25-01-2006 12:32am

What about when homer changes his name tol max power, and meets a guy called trent for the first time...

Trent:Hey max power, great name!
Homer:Yeah, i got it from a hairdryer.
...
Trent: You've gotta great sense if humour, lets go get lunch, you like thai?
Homer: Thai good. You like shirt?
......................................................................................................
Homer:Marge when i join an underground cult i expect a little support from my family!
.......................................................................................................
"This is the most exciting thing i've seen since halley's comet collided with the moon":D
.......................................................................................................
"Game Shows aren't about cruelty.They're about greed and wonderful prizes like poorly built catamarans".....................I really could go on forever

Bodhidharma · 25-01-2006 6:48pm

I know this is really two quotes but its so damn funny.

College Professor: Welcome to Nuclear Physics 101. I see a lot of new faces, but you know the old saying, out with the old and in with the nucleus. (everyone but Homer laughs) So, we will get started with... (drops notecards) whoops!

Homer: (laughs loudly) Did you see that jerk?! Dropped his notes!! (laughs even louder)

Fuzzy_Dunlop · 25-01-2006 8:47pm

one of mine anyway-

"Cult member: Can I interest you in our free weekend session?
Homer: When is this weekend?
Cult member: It's this weekend
Homer: Oh, I see... and how much is this free weekend?
Cult member: Er... it's free
Homer: Uh huh, and when is this weekend?
Cult member: It's this weekend
Homer: And how much are you charging for this free weekend [gets dragged away by
Bart], it's free right?",

also, Ralph-" prinscipper skippel, uh, prindibal skipster, i found something",

djmarkus · 25-01-2006 8:55pm

Mr. Burns' TV Show:

Burns: Smithers I'm home... (Audience Laugh Histerically)
Smithers: What already? (laughs)
Burns: Yes. (louder laughs)
Lisa: Is it my imagination or is TV getting worse?
Homer: Eh, it's about the same...
Burns: uh oh, look out Smithers (crash).

http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season5/bobo19.mp3

"Top notch stuff"

Fitzo · 25-01-2006 9:58pm

Just remembered my favourite by far...

Chief Wiggum:I'll tell ya, they only come out at night...or in this case, the day.

deisedolly · 26-01-2006 11:49pm

I don't know this exact quote but when Bart gives Laddy the dog back and goes looking for Santa's Little Helper in Willy's shed and Willy says something like:
'I ate him, and I ate the mess he made on me carpet'
hehe

Crucifix · 27-01-2006 1:14am

Chief Wiggum: "Now hold on Ralphie, Daddy has to go talk to this crazy homeless person"
<to homeless person> "Woah slow down, who's stealing your thoughts?"
Wonderful.

The_g-man · 08-02-2006 12:41am

Marge: How was your day at work, dear?
Homer: Oh, the usual. Stand in front of this, open that, pull down this, bend over, spread apart that, turn your head that way, cough....

That or the poor kid in tears watching Homer as Krusty beating the Krusty Burglar :
Stop! Stop, he's already dead!

plastic membrane · 14-02-2006 1:08pm

In honour of Valentines Day:

Skinner (after a traumatic 'Nam flashback where he sees his good buddy Jonny shot by Charlie on the De Nang river as he writes a valentines letter to his sweetheart back home): Jonny? Jonny? JONNY!!!!

Bart: Cool. I broke his brain.

RoadRunner · 21-02-2006 12:36am

Homer (AKA Max Power) - "From now on there's three ways of doing things. The right way, the wrong way and the Max Power way."
Bart - "Isn't that the wrong way?"
Homer - "Yes! But faster!"

Homer - "But Marge Weaseling out of things is important for the boy to learn. It's what seperates us from the animals. Except the weasel."

Homer - "Badger? Baaadger my ass, its probably Milhouse" - Excellent scene.

Homer - "M y g o d y o u r g r e a s y" - While in the grease business. Homer walks in KrustyBurger to see the spotty kid and eyeballs his greasy, spotted face with envy. (Favourite episode.)

Homer - "Stupid horoscope. Stupid horoscope. Plupid gloropope."

tbh · 21-02-2006 5:53pm

I love when any of the kids fantasise about things, because they remind me of me doing it when I was a kid. Two examples:

Bart believing that people in the future will be amazed by his ability to write in solid concrete, and can bring him back to life "using technology".

Millhouse believing that the camoflage kit he has will make him completly invisible in the lemon tree episode.

ok, three because I just thought of a third: Bart believing that his little dinosaur sponge will be thirty feet tall and will scare the crap out of lisa - when he added water to it and it just floated down the drain I nearly busted a gut laughing!!

Brian017 · 03-03-2006 12:23am

My favourite quote is the Witness Protection scene from 'Cape Feare'

_Turismo4 · 12-03-2006 6:45am

I hope I didn’t Brain my damage through drinking. - Homer

Boo-yah · 23-03-2006 10:37am

Some of my favourites:

Scene where Homer is getting a loan from Mr. Burns

Mr. Burns: Oh, it's a hobby. I'm not in this for any personal gain, heavens no! By the way, are you acquainted with our state's stringent usury laws?
Homer: Us-ury?
Mr. Burns: Oh, silly me! I must have just made up a word that doesn't exist.

Homer: Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

The lyrics to the song at the end of the Hank Scorpio episode

"Scorpio!
He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth.
Beware of Scorpio!
His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world
And his employees' health.
He'll welcome you into his lair,
Like the nobleman welcomes his guest.
With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest!
But beware of his generous pensions,
Plus three weeks paid vacation each year,
And on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer!
He loves German beer!"

Hank Scorpio: Ingenious, isn't it, Mr. Bunt?
Secret Agent: Scorpio, you're totally mad.
Hank Scorpio: Hah. I wouldn't point fingers, you jerk.
Secret Agent: So, do you expect me to talk?
Hank Scorpio: I don't expect anything from you, except to die and be a very cheap funeral.
[walks off]
Hank Scorpio: You're gonna die now.

d-arke · 23-03-2006 10:44am

tbh wrote:

Bart believing that people in the future will be amazed by his ability to write in solid concrete, and can bring him back to life "using technology".

Completely forgot about that one!!

03-04-2006 2:32am

"Jesus, Budda, Alla, I love you all!"

- Homer praying when about to be attacked in a portaloo by a charging rhino in the marge canyonero 4 wheel drive episode

DJ Dangerous · 03-04-2006 9:42am

Homer: "Moe, I got this friend; Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadu".
Moe: "Homer, that's the worst name I ever heard".
Man runs from bar crying.
Barney: "Hey, Joey Joe Joe".

quazzy · 27-04-2006 8:13am

[Homer's Brain] Eat the pudding,Eat the pudding,Eat the pudding,Eat the pudding....

[Homer] OK, but then we gotta go to work

Mushy · 19-05-2006 9:17pm

Havent looked through any pages so it might but be mentioned but anyway. its:
B.C: Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins
H.S: Homer Simpson, smiling politely

if i ever get the chance to use that on some famous person, i will easily take the opportunity

20-05-2006 1:31am

phone company gives a demonstration on the new springfield area code and say

"So simple even a monkey could figure it out. The question is are you stupider then a monkey???"

chief wiggum asks..."Err, How big a monkey????"

Stalfos · 20-05-2006 1:27pm

Some of my favourites:

Barney: Hello, my name is Barney and i'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl stouts meeting!
Barney: Is it? or is it you girls can't admitt you have a problem.

Carl: Oh no! Homer's going over those falls!
Lenny: Oh good! He snagged that tree branch.
Carl: Oh no! The branch broke off!
Lenny: Oh good! He can grab onto them pointy rocks!
Carl: Oh no! Them pointy rocks broke his arms and legs.
Lenny: Oh good! Those helpful beavers are swimming out to save him!
Carl: Oh no! They're biting him, and stealing his pants!

Duffman: Hey Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar loooove Duff?
Carl: Hey, it's Duffman!
Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure.
Duffman: Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!

B.T.Barlow: Mr. Mayor, I have a question for you.....what if you came home one night to find your family tid up and gagged, with socks in their mouths.They're screaming.Your trying to get in but there's too much blood on the knob!!!!!
Quimby: What is your question about?
B.T.Barlow: It's about the budget sir.

Mayor Quimby: Now I'd like to introduce the Prophet of Love, Larry White.
Barry White: It's Barry White.
Mayor Quimby: No, the card says Larry White.
Barry White: I think I know my own name.
Mayor Quimby: Yeah, well we'll just see about that.

Favourite Simpsons Quote

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